Am I the only who who all my exes hate or does anyone else have this problem?

[metal_chick]

That sounds like a personal attack. Please note that no one here is rising up against you. I am saying that everyone has different experiences that shape them and their opinions. It does not make anyones right or wrong, its a personal experience.

 

It's not a personal attack. If our relationships are following a particular path, over and over again, we have to ask what is the common denominator. Either our person picker is broken (I have trouble with this myself), or, we are doing something to drive them away.

 

Either way, we must look at ourselves, before blaming anyone else.

[PugMug]

 

Either way, we must look at ourselves, before blaming anyone else.

 

 

Is that not what everyone here is doing? looking within themselves?

Edited June 1, 2013 by PugMug

[metal_chick]

Is that not what everyone here is doing? looking within themselves?

 

I don't know, are they? I think a lot of people who were dumped come on here blaming themselves for the way the relationship went down. Some of them are at fault, some of them aren't, and some of them don't acknowledge their mistakes. I think a lot of people come on here thinking their breakup is unique, when most of the time, they have the same DNA running through all of them. I think a lot of people come on here thinking they can manipulate their ex to come back, and are surprised when it blows up in their face. Then there are people like me - this site is the emotional equivalent of a nicotine patch. If I'm on here, reading stories and doling out advice, I don't email my ex. I have replaced on habit with another, until I don't need it anymore.

 

I'm addressing what you said, that's my concern. You are of the opinion that girls get bored if you're too nice to them. I'm saying there is a massive difference between being nice, and kind, and generous of spirit to another person, and being spineless, and before ANYONE decided to blame a woman for leaving because they're too 'nice', they had better be sure of what being a 'nice' person actually means, and not blaming the other party by saying "All girls do/say..."

 

As the video says - we should all be nice, but we should definitely not be spineless. I don't know what you're doing to upset these girls, but what I do know, from loads of experience, is that if you do something and it creates the same outcome over and over again, the common denominator is us, not them.

[PugMug]

I don't know, are they? I think a lot of people who were dumped come on here blaming themselves for the way the relationship went down. Some of them are at fault, some of them aren't, and some of them don't acknowledge their mistakes. I think a lot of people come on here thinking their breakup is unique, when most of the time, they have the same DNA running through all of them. I think a lot of people come on here thinking they can manipulate their ex to come back, and are surprised when it blows up in their face. Then there are people like me - this site is the emotional equivalent of a nicotine patch. If I'm on here, reading stories and doling out advice, I don't email my ex. I have replaced on habit with another, until I don't need it anymore.

 

I'm addressing what you said, that's my concern. You are of the opinion that girls get bored if you're too nice to them. I'm saying there is a massive difference between being nice, and kind, and generous of spirit to another person, and being spineless, and before ANYONE decided to blame a woman for leaving because they're too 'nice', they had better be sure of what being a 'nice' person actually means, and not blaming the other party by saying "All girls do/say..."

 

As the video says - we should all be nice, but we should definitely not be spineless. I don't know what you're doing to upset these girls, but what I do know, from loads of experience, is that if you do something and it creates the same outcome over and over again, the common denominator is us, not them.

 

If you reread what I posted it says women like challenge. They get bored otherwise.

 

You seem to just jump to assumptions and get in a defensive mode at any little thing.

Edited June 1, 2013 by PugMug

[metal_chick]

If you reread what I posted is says women like challenge. They get bored otherwise.

 

You seem to just jump to assumptions and get in a defensive mode at any little thing.

 

"They" get bored? All women? Don't men get bored in relationships as well? What does challenging a woman mean to you?

[PugMug]

"They" get bored? All women? Don't men get bored in relationships as well? What does challenging a woman mean to you?

 

It seems that most women do get bored. And I wouldn't know men because I don't date them. For the rest of the answers you can google it 'how to challenge a women while dating' or something along those lines. It will define to you what challenging a women means.

[metal_chick]

It seems that most women do get bored. And I wouldn't know men because I don't date them. For the rest of the answers you can google it 'how to challenge a women while dating' or something along those lines. It will define to you what challenging a women means.

 

Hahaha! This is priceless! You complain that women get bored when they're not challenged in relationships, but don't actually know what being 'challenged' in a relationship is, except for possibly the most unreliable research method, the Google search.

 

It does not seem that most women get bored. It seems that most women YOU date, get bored. That's my point. Your assertion is based on only what you know, and only you, are the common thread. We all are, ultimately, the common thread in our failed relationships. When we fix that, we fixed our failed relationships.

 

You might not date men, but you are one. One would hope you had some idea what men want from relationships... otherwise how can you give a woman what she wants?

Edited June 1, 2013 by metal_chick

[PugMug]

Hahaha! This is priceless! You complain that women get bored when they're not challenged in relationships, but don't actually know what being 'challenged' in a relationship is, except for possibly the most unreliable research method, the Google search.

 

It does not seem that most women get bored. It seems that most women YOU date, get bored. That's my point. Your assertion is based on only what you know, and only you, are the common thread. We all are, ultimately, the common thread in our failed relationships. When we fix that, we fixed our failed relationships.

 

You might not date men, but you are one. One would hope you had some idea what men want from relationships... otherwise how can you give a woman what she wants?

 

 

Feel better?

Edited June 1, 2013 by PugMug

[Zammo25]

PugMug is suffering from the syndrome " the nice guy ". He has had a trail of broken relationships as he cares too much. He has become frankly , a Pussy. The Women he has been with see him as no challenge as they know they have him and will always have him. He has fallen into the trap. And a trap it is. As PugMug has said Women ultimately want a bad guy. A guy who is hard to tame. Any Woman you meet will try and change you, make you the kind of guy they think they want but the rub is, when you do this you are boring to them so they move onto the next challenge. I have seen this time and time again, from personal experience and all the guys on here pining for their ex when they have moved on from your sorry arse and nailing a new guy. Some feminists might like not this but it is a fact. The truth is the only way to keep a Woman interested is to behave like a complete and total ars*hole. Most Women want a challenge as Pugmug says, for sure they deny it but it is only as they are ashamed to declare the truth. So PugMug WAKE up and smell the coffee as I think you are. Just go out for what you want now and to hell with anyone else and if you have this mindset I can guarantee Women will be falling at your feet to be with you.

Edited June 1, 2013 by Zammo25

[BustedUpInside]

PugMug is suffering from the syndrome " the nice guy ". He has had a trail of broken relationships as he cares too much. He has become frankly , a Pussy. The Women he has been with see him as no challenge as they know they have him and will always have him. He has fallen into the trap. And a trap it is. As PugMug has said Women ultimately want a bad guy. A guy who is hard to tame. Any Woman you meet will try and change you, make you the kind of guy they think they want but the rub is, when you do this you are boring to them so they move onto the next challenge. I have seen this time and time again, from personal experience and all the guys on here pining for their ex when they have moved on from your sorry arse and nailing a new guy. Some feminists might like not this but it is a fact. The truth is the only way to keep a Woman interested is to behave like a complete and total ars*hole. Most Women want a challenge as Pugmug says, for sure they deny it but it is only as they are ashamed to declare the truth. So PugMug WAKE up and smell the coffee as I think you are. Just go out for what you want now and to hell with anyone else and if you have this mindset I can guaranteed Women will be falling at your feet to be with you.

 

Umm, that is crazy. I want you to pay attention here. Seriously, because it will be very important in your relationships with women. Crazy women like jerks. "Being challenged" is a ridiculous statement. Women like an equal partner. A teammate. Everyone likes to have interesting conversations and to grow in relationships, but I don't feel the need to constantly up the stakes and be "challenged"

 

Regular women DO like nice guys. What we don't like are passive-aggressive guys who claim that they are nice and that all women are manipulators and step all over them and "friendzone" them, while at the same time, they haven't really done anything to prove that they are "nice"

 

Nice people don't have agendas when they do things for people they care about. Nice people are genuine interested in others happiness, and not just giving them enough to make them "shut up" or as a bargaining tool to make the other person act how they want.

 

So, just to reiterate EVERYONE likes nice people!

[Zammo25]

Umm, that is crazy. I want you to pay attention here. Seriously, because it will be very important in your relationships with women. Crazy women like jerks. "Being challenged" is a ridiculous statement. Women like an equal partner. A teammate. Everyone likes to have interesting conversations and to grow in relationships, but I don't feel the need to constantly up the stakes and be "challenged"

 

Regular women DO like nice guys. What we don't like are passive-aggressive guys who claim that they are nice and that all women are manipulators and step all over them and "friendzone" them, while at the same time, they haven't really done anything to prove that they are "nice"

 

Nice people don't have agendas when they do things for people they care about. Nice people are genuine interested in others happiness, and not just giving them enough to make them "shut up" or as a bargaining tool to make the other person act how they want.

 

So, just to reiterate EVERYONE likes nice people!

 

Women DO NOT like nice guys. That is a fact. They have agendas and want a guy who will treat them like sh*t. Now I know this does not conform to the happy clappy brigade but I have seen it too many times now.

[BustedUpInside]

Women DO NOT like nice guys. That is a fact. They have agendas and want a guy who will treat them like sh*t. Now I know this does not conform to the happy clappy brigade but I have seen it too many times now.

 

Nope, that is not a fact. That is your opinion. I always think of self-proclaimed "nice guys" the way I think of people that describe themselves as "classy".

 

If you have to go around constantly telling people that you are something, then it is probably not true.

 

Normal people (women and men) like to be in relationships with other nice normal people. Crazy people like to be with other crazy people. The problem is that no one wants to admit that they are themselves a crazy, drama filled, attention whore so they are always weirdly surprised that they always seem to end up in relationships with people who act similarly.

[metal_chick]

Watch the video, Zammo. You're confused.

 

As for PugMug, don't cry because you asked a silly question and I answered. I'm not going to tell you want toy want to hear, I'm going to tell you what I think. And plenty of experience has shown, that if the results in your relationships are not desirable, there is only one commonality.

[SuperGeek]

Compared to the dirtbag she left me for, I was a 'nice' guy while I was with her. This dirtbag used her, ran up her credit, didn't maintain a job, fed her lies and convinced her to buy the engagement ring, verbally abused her, and then he dumped her. This all took place in a period of eight months just after she left me. Yeah it was obviously a rebound.

 

I blame this all on her too because she left. She quit and ran away from our relationship and wrecked it completely. So yeah I can say I was the nice guy because I treated her so much better than this guy ever did. Oh and you know what? She tried to come back a year later thinking I was going to be waiting with open arms... It was nearly a week later I told her to hit the road. I couldn't go back to it after that. She had already been with another guy and as far as I'm concerned it's over after that. What kind of idiot would I be to go back to her after she does that to me? She'll never get me back, ever.

 

So yeah I was 'nice' guy to her, but after what I've been put through, not anymore. I don't think that side of me will ever come back again and I'm trying to get over bitterness i nmy heart. The sad part is, if I had been more of an ahole to her, she'd probably still be around. Psychology just doesn't make sense when it comes to male/female bonding. There is this impossible line to walk as a male. Can't be too wimpy, but can't be too aggressive.

 

Gosh, make sure you don't show any weakness or sadness as a man, the girl might run off and hook up with a bad boy.

 

I am also going to start reading "No more mr. Nice guy" by Robert Glover. It was recommended in another thread on this board and looks like it can help me.

 

Do you classify "nice" as "bending over backwards"? Because if you do, that's not nice.

That's "spineless". Two very different things.

 

This video will clarify things for you.

 

 

Or search "You're probably not a nice guy" on YouTube.

Edited June 3, 2013 by SuperGeek

[Woggle]

Most of my exes tend to hate me because they can't have me anymore. My prom date and a woman I dated at 19 years are happily married right now and I am on good terms with them but my ex wife and a former casual fling have a serious case of want what you can't have syndrome with me.

[PugMug]

PugMug is suffering from the syndrome " the nice guy ". He has had a trail of broken relationships as he cares too much. He has become frankly , a Pussy. The Women he has been with see him as no challenge as they know they have him and will always have him. He has fallen into the trap. And a trap it is. As PugMug has said Women ultimately want a bad guy. A guy who is hard to tame. Any Woman you meet will try and change you, make you the kind of guy they think they want but the rub is, when you do this you are boring to them so they move onto the next challenge. I have seen this time and time again, from personal experience and all the guys on here pining for their ex when they have moved on from your sorry arse and nailing a new guy. Some feminists might like not this but it is a fact. The truth is the only way to keep a Woman interested is to behave like a complete and total ars*hole. Most Women want a challenge as Pugmug says, for sure they deny it but it is only as they are ashamed to declare the truth. So PugMug WAKE up and smell the coffee as I think you are. Just go out for what you want now and to hell with anyone else and if you have this mindset I can guarantee Women will be falling at your feet to be with you.

 

 

Zammo don't you dare bring your own personal opinion based on your experience as a heterosexual man to the table! In this bored, if the feminist women don't like your views, then there must be something wrong with you!

Edited June 3, 2013 by PugMug

[PugMug]

Watch the video, Zammo. You're confused.

 

As for PugMug, don't cry because you asked a silly question and I answered. I'm not going to tell you want toy want to hear, I'm going to tell you what I think. And plenty of experience has shown, that if the results in your relationships are not desirable, there is only one commonality.

 

 

You're free to tell me what you think but if I answer it however I think then I must be crying? Good to know.

 

Maybe your experience in relationships have also all gone wrong because you are the common factor in all of them yourself. You sound like an annoying feminist girl. And on the chubby and ugly side. In my personal experience all the girls that have said what you said usually match the description I stated.

Edited June 3, 2013 by PugMug

[Zammo25]

If you read some of my earlier posts, PugMug, I mentioned about picking the wrong men and contributing to bad relationships. A relationship is a two way street and both people bear responsibility when they end.

 

In my experience, guys like you think women are supposed to just fall at your feet and be grateful you show them some attention. ** The problem is, most guys likes you have no personality, and latch into a woman, draining the life out of her by being a whiny little bitch-baby. **

 

Sadly, disproving such baseless allegations (on both sides) is impossible on the Internet. So let's stick with provable facts. To go back to the beginning: none of your exes want to be friends with you. I can't IMAGINE why! All my exes - they all wanted to be my friend. They all came crawling back. The dumpers, and the dumpees.

 

There can only be one "Best In Show" at the Loser Fair. And it's not me. Good luck with that chip on your shoulder, buddy, you're going to need it.

 

** That is a pretty disgraceful post to someone who bared his soul and was looking for some advice and support. Shame on you.

[BustedUpInside]

** That is a pretty disgraceful post to someone who bared his soul and was looking for some advice and support. Shame on you.

 

If you're going to shame one, shouldn't you shame the other too? I mean, if he was asking for advice, then why did he just say that everyone who commented was wrong and then say that the women who disagreed were probably all chubby and bitter.

[Zammo25]

If you're going to shame one, shouldn't you shame the other too? I mean, if he was asking for advice, then why did he just say that everyone who commented was wrong and then say that the women who disagreed were probably all chubby and bitter.

 

Provocation.

[Zammo25]

" If love is the answer, your home, hold on "

[BustedUpInside]

" If love is the answer, your home, hold on "

 

Haha! You win this round!

[Zammo25]

Haha! You win this round!

 

If love is the answer. Your home,

hold on, LOL

[Sugarkane]

** That is a pretty disgraceful post to someone who bared his soul and was looking for some advice and support. Shame on you.

 

So why did he call her chubby and ugly on The inside, beforehand? And an annoying feminist girl? That wasn't necessary to someone who bothered to answer his thread.

[SimonSerenade]

Yep lol pretty much anyone I've ever been with hates me now, I don't know why, I'm not too sure what I ever did to them short of being a mug, one girl once told me she hoped Dante from devil may cry would shoot me in the face lol she was one crazy bitch, be a happy way to die though, devil may cry is a great game!.