Guest Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Now this is wierd. I have been involved in sleep sex for awhile. Normally it is me, and I just seem to awake with strong sexual urges. I normally roll over and start caressing my wife. This then leads to me stimulating her clitoris and things kinda go from there. It is a bit of a rush. However, lately it seems this is the only way I can get sex is to get my wife when she is asleep! The more I think about it, the more it worries me, because we hardly have sex anymore, and she rarely starts anything. Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 The top two rules of sex: 1. Enjoy it 2. Don't worry Link to post Share on other sites
Danagin Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 I'm about to get married in a few months. I don't live with her now but when we do sleep together, I do wake up very aroused sometimes. I don't remember ever having had dreams about other women, or even her. I just kiss on her neck a little and caress her a little and thats really all it takes. I would love to wake up in the middle of it though. That would be awesome, weather or not I started it. As far as renegator you're freaking nuts. My grandmother is more laid back than that. You really do have some serious trust issues. You nor any body you know controls their dreams. I love my fiance more than anything else in this world, and I would never do anything to hurt her. But I would be lieing if I said I never had dreams about other women. Oh yeah guest... does your wife wake up? How long have you been married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pantuuf Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 Hello Danagin, Thanks for the note, it is helpful. One other question for you. When you mentioned that you'd be lying if you said you don't dream of other women it makes me curious for you opinion...these dreams mean nothing in terms of your love for your fiance correct? They don't make you wonder if there are better/different for you out there? You are still happy as ever to be with her? I guess my question is I have heard that men can separate love from sex and wonder what you think of that? Do you think you will be happy with your partner, wanting to be with no other for all of your life? I know that I do feel this way but wonder how others feel? Thanks again and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Look at it this way. No matter who you are with there is always someone else out there better: prettier, sexier, smarter, richer, etc. And if you spend your whole life looking for a better deal, you'll find one. Problem is, you've spent your life, not invested it. I fell in love with my wife because she was cute and nice and crazy about me. She sill is all those things 20 years later, but now there's something more, and it's something I cannot find anywhere else: it's because it's HER. We have a life shared together, and that is absolutely irreplaceable. The life I gave her is part of her, and the life she gave me is part of me. Without her, I'm just not myself. You understand, Pantuuf? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Originally posted by flavius Look at it this way. No matter who you are with there is always someone else out there better: prettier, sexier, smarter, richer, etc. And if you spend your whole life looking for a better deal, you'll find one. Problem is, you've spent your life, not invested it. I fell in love with my wife because she was cute and nice and crazy about me. She sill is all those things 20 years later, but now there's something more, and it's something I cannot find anywhere else: it's because it's HER. We have a life shared together, and that is absolutely irreplaceable. The life I gave her is part of her, and the life she gave me is part of me. Without her, I'm just not myself. I have absolutely nothing pertinent to add to this thread, but I have to say this: ~~WOW!~~ That's the absolute BEST explanation of the bond between married people that I have read on this forum. I am awestruck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pantuuf Posted October 31, 2004 Author Share Posted October 31, 2004 Hello Flavius, After I read your post, I just felt a huge weight lifted off of me. I realized I focus on the negative sometimes and your answer reminded me just how special marriage is. I read your post to my husband and he was happy, he wondered why I believe you but not him...I told him that it's not that I don't believe him it is just sometimes helps if the message comes from a neutral/understanding party. All I have to say it thanks so much, you've made my week. Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 Expect no less from the Flav-meister. (Just kidding.) It's just a taste of God's grace. I can't make grace, but I sure can smell it cooking! Link to post Share on other sites
sunseed Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 My last post was too harsh, but I was denied when I tried to edit it. I was more interested in abstractly discussing the extent to which a person can be considered responsible for their actions while they're sleeping, than I was in scolding you personally. Sorry. In all, I think you and I are on the same page: I think that goats and weedeaters should be left out of the bedroom. Unless there's no other place to keep them of course. Your posts about your marriage are heartwarming, and right in line with my fledgling beliefs about life committment. I'm getting married in July, and my fiance and I have had some trust issues relating to an early mistake on his part and my lingering feelings of betrayal from my last relationship (yucky breakup--no warning, other woman, all that jazz that I thought only happened in soap operas). We have recovered well though, and loyalty and security are growing naturally. I guess I needed to hear that there is a community of men out there besides my fiance who are as committed and realistic as you. Your wife is a lucky lady and I am happy for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Sophia Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 It's nice to know I'm not the only one whose SO has started sex while asleep. I thought he woke up midstream, but later he made a reference to how nice it was to wake up to oral sex. Which floored me that had happened immediatley after very satisfying intercourse. He never said anything to me, but he did stop a couple of times early on when he fell into a deeper sleep. I feel a bit bad that he missed out. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetey147 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I have woken up in the middle of the night just to turn over or something simple and my boyfriend had his fingers rubbing on me, down there starting to even insert his fingers in me, and YES i thought it was sorta strange! i woke him up and i think i scared him he acted as if he didn't even understand what he was doing Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 My dh does this on occassions. It use to bug the crap out of me and I would push his hand away. I worked long hours during the day and all I wanted to do was sleep. Now that I have a job that isn't as many hours nor as stressful I welcome the touching, rubbing, and sex in the middle of the night. I just wish he did it more often. He has been working a lot of OT so I am sure he is tired at the end of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
guest25 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I think the comment about OT hits it on the head. This was happening to me shortly after our second child was born. I was very low on sleep. Anyway, I guess that in the middle of the night I would start kissing my wifes neck, telling her how beautiful she was, rubbing her breasts, etc. Never turned into sex. And I have only memory of two incidents when my wife woke me up because I was getting a little to forward. Stress, need for intimacy (note I didn't say sex), lack of sleep. That's my personal opinion on some of the reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
loudog Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Originally posted by VivianLee Do you think y'all do that because you are afraid of being turned down? I think men are unfairly made to feel like they are pigs because they have such strong sex drives.....maybe that's why y'all will do different things (sometimes sneaky) to make love.....poor guys! Amen....Vivian....you have hit the nail right on the per-verbal head. I am sure it is somewhat of a ruse designed to test the waters without the fear of outright rejection and or being chastised. It amazes me that if women is the one that wakes up horny, comes home horny basically is in the mood at any time that's OK...but conversely if a man has the same inclination at the wrong moment well god forbid they are unrelenting never satisfied pigs. My wife the other morning woke up from a hot dream all ready to go. I was asleep...she rubbed me into a fury prior to me waking up and then we went for it. Very rewarding sex when she is really into it. The next morning I awoke first ...hard and raring to go....when I initiated first contact I was totally rebuked and told that "hadn't I had enough" from the prior day? The obvious answer was no...or more importantly it was so good yesterday that my body was ready for an encore. That however makes me the bad guy because I was the horny male pig never satisfied initiator . Go figure. God bless the wive's who look at the husbands horniness and attraction to them as a blessing and not a curse. To those who don't those energies and attentions will find another home eventually...not a threat but a reality. Lou Link to post Share on other sites
mytwocents Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Ha, my boyfriend does the same thing. It's usually when he's overtired. He's a sleepwalker. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueangel Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Hey something simular happens to me. Except my husband actually takes part in the entire act. YES!I usually wake up when the the tea pot is whistling if you will. I never thought of this as being a problem until I read your thread. So should I be offended? Acouple of times I got offended but eventually I just gave up Link to post Share on other sites
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