SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'm 31 and my comfortable age minimum is 24 with 23 pretty much being my rock bottom. TBS sometimes I come accross younger women at school and work and just think I wish I was younger. I've always been wierd about age and liked a 16 year old when I was 19 and was immediately turned off/disappointed when I found out she was 16 even though it was legal as there can't be more than a three year gap with a minor... Now part of me thnks what's the big deal about dating a 19 or 20 year old? I have frineds my age and friends in their late teens and early 20's and don't feel the age difference so mabye it would be the same with dating. I think I'd be more open to it but I do admit I don't want to be looked down upon even though we shouldn't let people define us. What is your opinion on a 31 year old man dating a woman between 18-20?
mesmerized Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 My opinion is it doesn't go anywhere. Even semi attractive Women at that age are huge attention whores and if you think they are going to be faithful to the 31 yo average joe, you're hardly mistaken. If you want to try it though be my guest. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 My opinion is it doesn't go anywhere. Even semi attractive Women at that age are huge attention whores and if you think they are going to be faithful to the 31 yo average joe, you're hardly mistaken. If you want to try it though be my guest. Part of me thinking about it would be less pressure for me in a couple of ways. One being my lack of exp and the other being that I'm not looking for marriage or kids right now. It's hard to find women past the age of 24 who aren't looking to settle down.
mesmerized Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Part of me thinking about it would be less pressure for me in a couple of ways. One being my lack of exp and the other being that I'm not looking for marriage or kids right now. It's hard to find women past the age of 24 who aren't looking to settle down. I'm just saying don't expect a long happy relationship from these women. Yes you get some hot sex but also have to deal with their attention whoring ways and tons of other immaturity. If you're ok with that go for it. Just don't come here make the typical my 19 yo gf is doing this and that in facebook and clubs thread. Also, it sounds to me like you just want to widen the age range to have more options, since your current options are not working for you. I would instead think about why you can't be successful with more age appropriate women. 2
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 I'm just saying don't expect a long happy relationship from these women. Yes you get some hot sex but also have to deal with their attention whoring ways and tons of other immaturity. If you're ok with that go for it. Just don't come here make the typical my 19 yo gf is doing this and that in facebook and clubs thread. Also, it sounds to me like you just want to widen the age range to have more options, since your current options are not working for you. I would instead think about why you can't be successful with more age appropriate women.[/quoteI'm majoring in economics. I was planning on being a teacher but with the education budget it's going to be tough so I'm thinking about auto insurance claims adjusting. I have the experience with cars and most insurance companies require a degeee for that position so I should be able to get in easy. ] Yeah trust me no facebook drama for me but one thing I've learned is that age isn't always an indicator of maturity... I've dated women my age, a lite younger (6 years) and older too (she was 41 when I was 29). A couple of them I met IRL (a 26 year old and the 41 year old). So it's not a problem of courting a women my age but since I'm not looking for marriage or children yet I'm thinking why should I turn down a 20 year old if she likes me? TBS I don't know I'd be comfortable about it. A few years ago my roommate had an 18 year old gr when he was 26 and at first I thiught he was robbing the cradle but she was cool and they got along fine and were pretty much on eachothers level so my opinion changed on the age gap.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Wait just one stinkin' minute. You're considering doing the very same thing you were just going ape $hit over? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/395160-older-men-flirting-young-women Huh???
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 You come off as kind of a doormat. Fix that and you'll be set. I've tried to work on that. I'm pretty passive but when I reach my limit I errupt like mount vesuvius. I've had to set a few bosses strait (including shouting one down in the parking lot). People shouldn't try to walk on you just because you look nice.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Wait just one stinkin' minute. You're considering doing the very same thing you were just going ape $hit over? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/395160-older-men-flirting-young-women Huh??? I'm not 40 and old enough to father a 18 year old, unless I had her a 13 yuck!
Nyla Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'm 31 and my comfortable age minimum is 24 with 23 pretty much being my rock bottom. TBS sometimes I come accross younger women at school and work and just think I wish I was younger. I've always been wierd about age and liked a 16 year old when I was 19 and was immediately turned off/disappointed when I found out she was 16 even though it was legal as there can't be more than a three year gap with a minor... Now part of me thnks what's the big deal about dating a 19 or 20 year old? I have frineds my age and friends in their late teens and early 20's and don't feel the age difference so mabye it would be the same with dating. I think I'd be more open to it but I do admit I don't want to be looked down upon even though we shouldn't let people define us. What is your opinion on a 31 year old man dating a woman between 18-20? I have always preferred older men. That said, I have had both good and bad experiences which have shaped my perception of older men who date younger women. Unfortunately, a lot of older men date much younger women because they want someone naïve to control and mold. Sometimes they also choose much younger partners because they can't get women their own age. Quite often, these older men just want to use a younger woman for sex and don't see her as relationship material. I would give the side eye to any man in his thirties who was dating a kid in their late teens or early twenties. I used to be close friends with a VERY naïve 23 year old. When she was dating a 42 year old man, my claws came out. He embodied every reason why younger women should be wary of much older men. My husband is eight years older than me. I was 25 when I met him and it was the perfect age difference...not too old but old enough.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I'm not 40 and old enough to father a 18 year old, unless I had her a 13 yuck! 31 is not very far from "late 30's". It's just a handful of years. If it's creepy for him to do it, why not you?
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 31 is not very far from "late 30's". It's just a handful of years. If it's creepy for him to do it, why not you? If you think I'm creepy that's your opinion. Like I said, I don't know if I could do it if it came down to it. BTW I'm not bitter, I'm cynnical and thats a huge difference. I know there are good people out there but you can't walk around naive as i have for many years. I'm a very level headed guy, you know it, you've liked plenty of my posts SG. 1
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 She's pointing out your cognitive dissonance. I'm not realistically old enoough to be an 18 year olds daughter as he is so I don't see a cognitive dissonance. If she does/yall do you're entitled to your opinions. Like I said I don't know if I would if it came down to it and if I did I know that there are people who would look down on it and I do admit that it would bother me.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 Maybe he is just creepy and the blame is misplaced on age. It's possible. A girl at work called me weird and creepy in the same sentence lol.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 23, 2013 Author Posted May 23, 2013 A little more than a year ago at shcool an attractive woman sat next to me on the but. I knew she was interested becuase when I seen her at the bus stop she started preening big time and we got on the bus and she was sitting accross the aisle from me. Well, after the first stop she got up to let someone out and instead of sitting back in her seat she sat next to me! We looked at eachtoher and smiled and after that I didn't do anything:mad: I just looked out the window lol! Now the main reason I didn't engage her was my shyness but part of it had to do was the age difference. I told the guys at work and took some heat for it. I told them she was probably 19/20 and one guy said "who cares she was probably dtf dude" (he was 21 at the time). I told my uncle about it and her age and he said "who cares?". Also, another guy at work asked why I don't try to date girls up at school and he said who cares, besides you look a little younger than your age. It seems like most men don't care, I know this isn't new news lol but I was always picky about how low I went age wise but it seems like I'm warming up to it even though I don't know for sure that I could date a woman that young.
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I don't know why my previous post (and your response) disappeared from this thread. But again, no... I wouldn't recommend it. There are different maturity levels, and a girl that young will burn you and leave you with the same emotional wounds that the unhappy people here have. 1
iris219 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with a 10 year age gap, if you are both adults. It could work if she was, say, 27 and you were 37 because you are both mature adults at this point. Keep in mind, however, that a 21 year girl, even a "mature" one, will still be immature. She will be naive and inexperienced. I know this because I was once a "mature" 21 year old. Also, she is in the precess of discovering herself and determining what she wants in life. By 25, she will probably not want you (or you won't want her) because she will be a different person. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I say go for it. Like I said in your other thread, most likely there are 18-20 year old guys who aren't dating these girls, so these young girls need someone too. Why not you?
carhill Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 OP, I think your current age minimum is healthy. Continue in the 25-35 range as a target and examine specific interactions with those outside that range on a case by case basis. This presumes you're seeking a LTR or to be married.
Els Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 And you wonder why people called you jealous in your other thread... Seriously, you are welcome to try. The very few young women who date much older men (as in a decade older or more) are often doing so because those men possess things that their younger counterparts do not. Usually monetary/career success, and the sense of 'worldliness' that comes with that. In your case, how do you think that's going to work out?
Nyla Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with a 10 year age gap, if you are both adults. It could work if she was, say, 27 and you were 37 because you are both mature adults at this point. Keep in mind, however, that a 21 year girl, even a "mature" one, will still be immature. She will be naive and inexperienced. I know this because I was once a "mature" 21 year old. Also, she is in the precess of discovering herself and determining what she wants in life. By 25, she will probably not want you (or you won't want her) because she will be a different person. This is true. When I was with my controlling ex at 20, I was naïve and passive. By the end of our relationship when I was 22, I didn't see anything in him anymore. In fact, I was disgusted that I had been intimate with someone so ugly and boorish. I really didn't like myself when I was 20. I was 22 when I was dating a 36 year old man. I did not damage him emotionally in any way; if anything, he did far more emotional damage than I ever did. Being with him turned me off dating men with children.
EasyHeart Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 It depends on what you want. If you just want to go out and have fun, a 19 year old is fine. Just don't expect to have a relationship with someone that young.
sillyanswer Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 What is your opinion on a 31 year old man dating a woman between 18-20? I think there are so few women of those ages wanting to date a man of that age that it's barely worth a man of that age trying. On the other hand, two adults can choose to date if they wish.
xxoo Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Another way to put it: she's had 0 adult years (is currently working on her first year of adulthood), and you've had 13 adult years. That's a ratio of more than 13:1. If you dated a 21 year old, she'd have 3 adult years to your 13: that's a little more than 4:1 If you date a 41 year old at 29, she's had 23 adult years to your 11 adult years. Basically 2:1. That may put in perspective how much age gap matters more when one person is very young. 2
Treasa Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 I think the rule of thumb is half your age plus seven years, and up to where you want it to go up to. So for me, the youngest I can go is 26.
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