crederer Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 If you respond do it from a position of strength. I wouldn't let her know that it's been bothering you. Just say something that leads her to believe you've fully moved on and don't care to alleviate her guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Well, when you two broke up and she went bat sh*t crazy on you, while you were calm cool and collected. She probably told you that you were worthless and that the guy she cheated on with you was far better than you (don't know why girls like to hit below the belt like this). BUT! You walked away with your dignity and your head held high. After she cooled off and thought about it. She realized how cruel and mean it actually was. Because, deep down, she knows that you're a nice guy and really didn't deserve that. Then, the guilt set in. She wants you to ease her guilt. You can forgive her. You can forgive her as a person. But, as a girlfriend? She crossed a line that shouldn't be addressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Well like I said, women don't cheat for the same reasons us men do. You have to acknowledge you're partially to blame if you DO EVER want another shot at being with this lady. I'm not saying you HAVE to do this but how will she ever justify it to herself in the future that she feels comfortable being in a relationship with you if you're still angry that she "left you for another man" opposed to "understanding that her needs weren't being met at the time because of YOU". My ex left me for another man, am I angry at her? Nope. I don't need to be because I recognize that *I* drove her into the arms of another man - because I was not *there* for her and HE was. Being a man is about recognizing your shortcomings and communicating them back to your partner. Not to hijack this thread, but your perspective is unbalanced. So because women don't cheat for the same reason men do, it's men's fault? And by implication, it's a man's fault when he cheats as well? By this logic men are always the responsible and culpable party. Way to go us. What the OP needs is good advice, which is what most people have offered, not self-flagellation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thames Dweller Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hi Chi Town, Thanks for your thoughts. You're right in many ways, she went below the belt. something along the lines like you mention and it was spiteful. But yet again, I have no idea as to why she wants to engage now and seemingly is opening channels of communication. is it guilt, to be nosy or what other prerogative? Im enjoying reading everyone thoughts on the topic, thanks for chipping in. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I dunno man. I'd say don't even say anything and let the guilt fester because it sounds like she deserves to feel guilty. That's easy for me to say over here in internet land though... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thames Dweller Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hi AJax, I agree with your sentiments on the topic of cheating and whilst the original post was more to do with my ex's attempts to apologise and understand her motives behind the apology, it's interesting to read about larry56 thoughts on it, altough certainly not something I agree with. Its been great all the same reading what people have had to say on the topic. I've so far yet to respond to her and not sure I will but that is just how i feel right now and we all know feelings change. thanks anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
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