frederickkk Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 i've tried a lot of things. this girl wanted to move in august of last year and since then, we've slept together, each time we've seen each other, mixed messages and pretty much emotionally ruined me. taramaiden tells me to move country. this is the worst thing i have ever gone through in my entire life. im in tears every single night. there is no way she doesnt cry like i do. i cant believe it in my heart. i am absolutely devastated. its torture not being able to talk to her.
PennGuy Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Wow. Just wow. You make my issues with my own breakup seem like a cakewalk. Here's what it boils down to, pal: Most of this pain is self-inflicted at this point. It's been 8 months now and you're still asking the same questions. You're still subjecting yourself to the same crap. I know how bad a breakup hurts. I've been there and I am still dealing with it. Here's the difference between you and I, Fred. I've accepted that it's OVER. It's done. Her silence towards me has made it easy to accept that. Acceptance does not necessarily mean you feel good, it can be a very sad and lonely state. Moreover, how do you know for sure that she is crying nightly over you like you do for her? I would bet the farm that she isn't. She's out living her life to the best of her ability and I suggest you do the same. You are doing nothing but wasting precious time over ONE person on this planet who didn't want you. There's going to come a day when you wish that you could have all that time back that you tortured yourself over the ghosts of days gone by. You seem like one crazy mofo. All the threads about e-mailing her 8 times a day....wanting to get on the train and show up at her place...all this behavior has done is reinforce her decision to end things. I'm not saying she is perfect either, but for the love of God, you really really REALLY need to get your **** straight. You are chasing your own shadow. You will never catch it. You need to get out this state of mind and save some face. Keep some dignity if there even is anything left of it. You have hit the point of self loathing and denial. You are doing this to yourself. She is not doing anything to you. She has no control over you. She is not magic. She is not God. Take a vacation. Find a hobby. For the love of all things holy, go out and maybe even get laid. You are shoving the blade into your own gut at this point and maybe you should honestly seek some sort of professional help. How long are you going to wait for her, Fred? Forever? Are you going to do nothing but sit in the dark with a picture of her while "Every Breath You Take" plays softly in the background? You somehow need to accept the fact that it is O-V-E-R over. 1
Hockeyguy19 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 the pain is unbearable. Yeah it is, but like pennman said, you need to let go! The people on LS are here to support you, offer advice because they've been through this, multiple times even. He may seem harsh but he's absolutely right, YOU are wasting YOUR time. Not hers. You can't let your life fall to **** because of someone who doesn't want you or care about you. One day you will wake up and wonder where all the time has gone, and that's not going to be a good day. Your on here posting because you want to get better, you want to heal, you want to move on, but you need to take the advice and seriously let it sink in. I've made my mistakes, I've done everything wrong in trying to win back something that wasn't or will ever be there again. You need to accept that, and until you do, this pain will not dull. Accept, honor and release. Until you accept, you will never release. LS has and still continues to help me, I have horrible days and I have good days, but I'm slowly accepting she found someone else, but she's not my problem anymore, she's not my responsibility, she's not a part of my life. I either live for me, or I don't and feel like a I'm nothing without her if I don't. That's not an option for me and it's not for you either. Pick yourself up, focus on positives. Do you have a good job? Good family? Good friends? If something is lacking, make a change. I lost a 5 yr gf in 2008, so I moved, went to school, got my BA last month from university and lost a 3 year a week before finals. I passed, I made it and now a new life begins without her, is it scary? Hell yes, but I, ME, I control it, not her. Set a goal, and get running after it. Make a small one like going for a walk/jog/run every morning if that's where you need to start, but start something for you. Find happiness. It's out there, but crawling into a hole saying woe is me will not get you there, trust me on this. I did it, all the mistakes, and I'm paying for them. Don't play a victim. Please do not, because in the end your only hurting yourself. Keep your chin up and keep posting.
youngnlove89 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 the pain is unbearable. Yep. It is. And it just takes time. But try to do something during that time. Go out, even if you don't feel like it. Join a gym. Go see friends. Meet new people. Clean your house. Read a book. Go for a walk. Get a second job. You get the picture. As far as that pain goes, you control you happiness. Sure, someone can walk away, but you determine how you will let it affect you. It will still hurt, but at least you are doing something with your life versus sitting at home and moping over someone who LEFT you. Improve yourself. Take care of you. Don't let that fall to the side. Love yourself. Here is a letter I wrote to myself, it really helped me: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/391156-we-have-every-reason-happy-even-if-our-hearts-hurt
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Seriously, it's not a matter of being "strong enough to move on." I've followed your threads. You are obsessive and seem to be verging on stalking. Please just find professional help. If you manage to detach from your feelings about this PAST relationship, you will probably put all of this unhealthy obsessive behavior onto someone else. PLEASE go to a therapist with this. NOW.
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