latergater Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 For those of you who have not read my other threads, you are welcome to do so. All I can say is DRAMA. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/391182-facebook-messages-about-other-women-mm-seeing Today, in the mail, I received an envelope from my ex MM containing a gift card that I gave him for his birthday earlier in the year. He returned the gift card *(for a substantial amount -- it was to the Apple store) and the greeting card(s) - the one that the W found when she found out the affair. He didn't include a note or anything else. He just placed the items in the mail and returned them to me. I guess this is really his way of saying ITS over. But, c'mon .. I think it's clear by now that we are OVER. I wouldn't have it any other way. For some reason, I feel sick to my stomach. It made me feel horrible that he would go out of his way to return items that I had given him.
ThatJustHappened Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Maybe his wife did it. Who cares?? Go buy a new iPad!!! 5
secretlady76 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Evidently the OP cares enough to post about it. I guess she feels a little punched in the stomach. The action of sending it back was a sign for a reaction. IMO, it is not the type of thing a man would do. They don't do that kind of thing (come on, they have enough trouble buying presents, let alone sending one back). Either his wife sent it back or she asked him to send it back. Or, maybe he decided to send it back....but on the basis he had kept it for so long prior to this then I am not sure. Either way, there is a silent message to it regardless of sender. Don't react, just accept and then buy something with it for someone you care about, be it a friend or relative rather than you, otherwise you will always relate your new purchase with the rejected returned gift. 2
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I think I would consider it a precedent and send back a pack of jewelry and lingerie, love notes, etc... Returning those things was stupid, if it's over burn them. 2
DelusionalOne Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 (edited) 1. Ouch. I know I would feel a little sick from that too. 2. Go spend it on something nice 3. I would have TOTALLY told her now about the other women... But I can be bitchy like that. I'm all for leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. Poke the tiger... Beware...I play for keeps. Edited May 14, 2013 by DelusionalOne
Author latergater Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 Latergater - First, love your username! You and I have the same idea but yours is much more clever. I suspect that the returning of the gift was more a statement about the two of them trying to be "unified" than it was a statement about you personally. It was a symbolic gesture. They are attempting to repair their marriage - let them. Take some time to heal. Do things just for you. I agree with the poster who suggested that you use the gift card to buy something really great for yourself. You like my username? Aww, thanks! Well, I am so glad. You are welcome to use it on other forums if you choose. If available, it's all yours! And yes, we were thinking along the same lines when we created our usernames, huh? I like yours too. There are some awesome ones out there. People are so creative!! Thanks for all of the great advice. This is directed to everyone. I just needed to chat about it because it made me feel sick to my stomach .. and yes, it felt like I had been PUNCHED in the stomach. It's so hard knowing that, as bad as someone IS for you now, you spent so much time and energy and gave so much love to someone that you will most likely never see or hear from again. It just makes me sad. It's like an investment that you babied and researched and put your heart and soul into. And then it tanks. Imagine that but its a million times worse. I have to think of him as "dead." I know that is cruel to say but it's how I feel. I have never been so disappointed in a human being in my life. I am also disappointed in ME and figuring out why i settled for a PRICK in my life or even considered being a friend to him. I see things so much more clearly now, and its only been a few weeks. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!!! YOU ROCK!! 2
SidLyon Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 (edited) It may have been the BW that posted them. In my situation, my fWH gave me the gifts the OW had given him and I went to the OW's workplace to return them to her personally. Here's the thread I made about it at the time: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/186419-i-confronted-her#post2138700 The reference to Mel Gibson was because on that same day the media was in a frenzy trying to track down exactly which "Oksana" he was having an A with. Edited May 14, 2013 by SidLyon
TaraMaiden Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 If you really cannot face buying something for yourself, because the memory and association would be too hurtful............ .......I'll PM you with my address for the new iPad...... 5
Author latergater Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 If you really cannot face buying something for yourself, because the memory and association would be too hurtful............ .......I'll PM you with my address for the new iPad...... TaraMaiden -- You are HYSTERICAL. We just met ... don't you think it's a bit too soon for me to be buying you an ipad? Maybe an iphone? Would that do? I should be able to get my money back .. or at least that is what the back of the gift card says. I will keep you posted .. oh and of course touch base with you about the colors you are interested in. If I can get my money back it will be payment for all of the therapy I AM GOING TO NEED! Ha!! have a great night! 2
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 TaraMaiden -- You are HYSTERICAL. We just met ... don't you think it's a bit too soon for me to be buying you an ipad? Maybe an iphone? Would that do? huh, details schmetails.... Call it a ONS..... but will you still respect me in the morning....? I should be able to get my money back .. or at least that is what the back of the gift card says. I will keep you posted .. oh and of course touch base with you about the colors you are interested in. Metallic iridescent aubergine.... If I can get my money back it will be payment for all of the therapy I AM GOING TO NEED! Ha!! have a great night! You don't need therapy.....! What you need is to get all your great GF's together, go for a good meal at a fine restaurant, buy some champagne and drink a toast to men - what would we have to laugh at, without them...?!
LoveBitesButSoDoI Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 (edited) Don't feel bad. We often read about this sort of thing happening months later on this board and trust me, it is one of three things. The wife did it, the wife made him do it, or he did it because he is fishing for a reaction. Ignoring the both of them will not give them what they want & that's the point. Stay NC & have a fun day shopping at Crapple...oops I mean Apple. Edited May 15, 2013 by LoveBitesButSoDoI
Author latergater Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 Don't feel bad. We often read about this sort of thing happening months later on this board and trust me, it is one of three things. The wife did it, the wife made him do it, or he did it because he is fishing for a reaction. Ignoring the both of them will not give them what they want & that's the point. Stay NC & have a fun day shopping at Crapple...oops I mean Apple. Thanks. I guess I'm having a low day today. I feel like crap. Missing him terribly. And, after the stuff I told his W, I logged into fb using a friends account and the other persons who were involved with him (that I clearly called out to his wife) are still on his FACEBOOK PAGE. WTF is that?
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 LoveBitesButSoDoI, why do you keep 'bolding' your text....? it's very off-putting. just asking.........
Author latergater Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 LoveBitesButSoDoI, why do you keep 'bolding' your text....? it's very off-putting. just asking......... TaraMaiden You crack me up. You are hysterical.
Washingmachine1980 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I think the wife sent those back. A guy would have just thrown that stuff away. She just trying to hurt you. I gave my EXMM a Christmas gift and I'm pretty sure he threw it in the trash on his way home. Wish I would have just saved my money instead or that he refused the gift so I could have gotten a refund. In a year or so, you'll be glad you got the gift card back.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I think the wife sent those back. A guy would have just thrown that stuff away. I agree about the wife being the one to have returned it.... but a guy would never voluntarily discard such a gift....A guy would have bought something with it, then concealed it. No man ever told a woman to shut up while she was telling him how wonderful he is. A gift like that, says 'you're wonderful'. Ergo, he would definitely have used it, had his wife not sent it back..... 1
LoveBitesButSoDoI Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 LoveBitesButSoDoI, why do you keep 'bolding' your text....? it's very off-putting. just asking......... So is your avatar & your location...just sayin'.
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 That doesn't answer my question. And my Avatar and location are nothing to do with post content. I'm just wondering why you keep putting everything in Bold when the Guidelines advise against it. Our forum allows special codes to be inserted into messages that allow basic formatting of text. We expect that participants will use these codes sparingly and refrain from using excessive amounts of color, bolding, size, or font definitions that will make reading the text difficult for the visually impaired. These codes are reserved for highlighting text and are not intended as decorative embellishments to the majority or entirety of a submission. That's all.
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