How many men have never/rarely been approached by a woman?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I've been approached a few dozen times throughout my life. I look at approaching as a masculine quality (and I find that most women that do it are on the crazy side) so it's a bit of a turn-off.

[mn311601]

Never, not online or in real life.

[Geiss]

I been approached a few times but only one asked for my number that I can remember.

[insertnamehere]

"unmistakeable interest" is pretty damned low clearing. Admittedly, the number of guys who manage to mistake unmistakable interest is appalling.

 

Frankly, my experience as a guy who gets approached a lot and who listens to to other guys complain about not being approached is that they're awful at picking up the little signals. Guys are dense.

 

I've watched guys have chicks fawning over them and they just completely missed it. Sometimes I get bored and just bump the damned guy into the girl to see if I can't make them happen (also because it relieves the pressure on my brain).

[USMCHokie]

"unmistakeable interest" is pretty damned low clearing. Admittedly, the number of guys who manage to mistake unmistakable interest is appalling.

 

Frankly, my experience as a guy who gets approached a lot and who listens to to other guys complain about not being approached is that they're awful at picking up the little signals. Guys are dense.

 

I've watched guys have chicks fawning over them and they just completely missed it. Sometimes I get bored and just bump the damned guy into the girl to see if I can't make them happen (also because it relieves the pressure on my brain).

 

I think it's not necessarily that men can't recognize the actual signals of interest...it's that their insecurity drives them to interpret them not as signals of interest. They will rationalize in their minds that "she would never be interested in a guy like me; I'm sure she's just being nice."

[Mme. Chaucer]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

So, are you looking for guys who have never/ rarely been approached? OR who have never / rarely rejected anyone?

 

One is not "another word" for the other. They aren't the same at all.

[lino]

With every girl I've ever been involved with bar one, it was them who signalled interest in me first.

 

None of them actually approached me, as in came up to me, introduced themselves, made small talk and then asked me out.

 

They always made their interest known through a person we had in common or with quite subtle signals.

 

My current girlfriend made her interest known to me through her cousin and then I did the actual physical approach.

[candie13]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

you're taking it personal. approaching someone has to do with enacting an urge - that of someone finding someone else attractive. If a woman finds you attractive, it doesn't automatically mean she will come and talk to you. To make things even more complicated, sometimes, if a woman ignores you, it's because she might actually be drawn to you.

 

I find attractive men all the time. Everywhere - from bars to supermarkets, to the movies, in the street. It doesn't mean I'll go talk to them.

 

As a matter of fact, I NEVER did, can you believe that? I've never gone ahead and talked to a man I found attractive. EVER. I'm shy and yeah, when I talk to a guy I feel attracted to, I am self conscious and afraid I might say totally uninteresting or dumb things.

 

the first time ever, in my life, when I've approached a man, was this summer. I was on a bar, on the beach, and this middle aged, relaxed man was talking to some of the guys at the bar. So I've made myself go to him and ask a few random questions - just to see how it feels like . It was weird, but it went well. The guy was a bit embarrassed - to see a man blush, lol - but I got invited to a party, that evening. Luckily for me, I was leaving the island that afternoon.

 

To resume: it means nothing, if a woman doesn't approach you. If all women on this planet acted the same way I did, not one single woman would ever approach a man . That would make things easy, wouldn't it ?

[SJC2008]

"unmistakeable interest" is pretty damned low clearing. Admittedly, the number of guys who manage to mistake unmistakable interest is appalling.

 

Frankly, my experience as a guy who gets approached a lot and who listens to to other guys complain about not being approached is that they're awful at picking up the little signals. Guys are dense.

 

I've watched guys have chicks fawning over them and they just completely missed it. Sometimes I get bored and just bump the damned guy into the girl to see if I can't make them happen (also because it relieves the pressure on my brain).

 

Meaning they were flat out approached and said they didn't think she was interested?

 

I've heard this before where guys do pick up on "obvious" signals. What are these signals?

 

Women can be very subltle and will think they're flying a plane over your house with a baner saying "Ask me out!"

 

It goes back to just because a girl smiles at you, is nice to you/talks to you diesn't mean she likes you.

[JuneJulySeptember]

you're taking it personal. approaching someone has to do with enacting an urge - that of someone finding someone else attractive. If a woman finds you attractive, it doesn't automatically mean she will come and talk to you. To make things even more complicated, sometimes, if a woman ignores you, it's because she might actually be drawn to you.

 

I find attractive men all the time. Everywhere - from bars to supermarkets, to the movies, in the street. It doesn't mean I'll go talk to them.

 

As a matter of fact, I NEVER did, can you believe that? I've never gone ahead and talked to a man I found attractive. EVER. I'm shy and yeah, when I talk to a guy I feel attracted to, I am self conscious and afraid I might say totally uninteresting or dumb things.

 

the first time ever, in my life, when I've approached a man, was this summer. I was on a bar, on the beach, and this middle aged, relaxed man was talking to some of the guys at the bar. So I've made myself go to him and ask a few random questions - just to see how it feels like . It was weird, but it went well. The guy was a bit embarrassed - to see a man blush, lol - but I got invited to a party, that evening. Luckily for me, I was leaving the island that afternoon.

 

To resume: it means nothing, if a woman doesn't approach you. If all women on this planet acted the same way I did, not one single woman would ever approach a man . That would make things easy, wouldn't it ?

 

Approach doesn't just mean you're standing on a street corner chewing gum and some bombshell walks up to you and asks for your number.

 

It means any kind of interest. Her telling her friend and her friend telling you that you are cute. A drive through girl calling you hot. Etc. I know these things happen because they have happened to my friends.

 

I know not too many men are in my boat. I just kind of wanted an idea.

[carhill]

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

Qualifying the answer with the woman being demonstrably single, meaning not involved in sexual and/or emotional relations with another man and/or married to a man, never. Without that qualifier, plenty.

[hppr]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

That happened to me once when I was a teen but from when I was 20-29, never, unless you count the obese 60 year old lady who grabbed my ass at a bar. I get it a lot more attention from women now (I am 31) but that's only because I have taken extreme measures with my appearance (ie, crazy workout regime and other things I'd rather not mention) and the fact that a lot of women are desperate when they get near 30.

[sillyanswer]

So, are you looking for guys who have never/ rarely been approached? OR who have never / rarely rejected anyone?

 

One is not "another word" for the other. They aren't the same at all.

 

I was scratching my head about that, too.

 

Anyway, since they are different things:

 

I've rarely been approached outside of online dating, or if I have I've failed to recognise it for what it was. (On dating sites I get some form of first contact from a woman other than just looking at my profile about every other day if I'm actively logging in, and much less if I'm not online.)

 

I reject women often enough that I couldn't describe it as "never / rarely".

 

 

Also, I have a date tonight. Sorry, can't stay to chat. Have to go make myself look pretty.

[hppr]

It means any kind of interest. Her telling her friend and her friend telling you that you are cute. A drive through girl calling you hot. Etc. I know these things happen because they have happened to my friends.

 

Truthfully I can think of 3 times prior to now; once when I was in high school there was this red-haired girl who kept asking me for a ride home, she was my first kiss. Second was a girl in college whom I ended up dating for a short while. Third was the fat chick I mentioned above. Truth is, it's a shallow world and up until I started working out a lot and spending bookoo money on clothes, colognes (I literally don't go outside without trying to look good as stupid as that sounds for a man) women didn't want me unless they had no other option.edit: as far as extreme measures I took I went from being 145lbs @ 5'11 to being almost 190 for awhile, now 175. So about like a 200lb woman slimming down to 120-130. Literally had to have the same height/weight as some competitive bodybuilders to get noticed lol.

Edited May 9, 2013 by hppr

[thefooloftheyear]

interesting....

 

When I was in HS and college(especially HS), it was a bonanza. Back then (no cell phones), girls would leave notes in your locker saying how much they wanted you, blah, blah..It was cool. truth is at that age all you needed was a cool car or if you were on a team(in my school it was wrestlng or swimming) then you basically had your pick...

 

After college and up until my early 40's...Nothing... Sure, I was married, but didnt wear a wedding ring because I worked with my hands and couldnt for the most part but didnt bother. I dont like wearing rings anyway. Well. No interest...None...

 

Now in my mid 40'a and now some interest???...Huh? Id like to attribute it to the fact that I do take good care of myself but why all of a sudden? Now dont get me wrong, the women I get hit on by now arent 22 year old hotties, but 35-55 year olds-not dogs but been around the block -so to speak,..When I talked to a woman my age about this she said it was something to do with women getting desperately crazy before menopause sets in..I dont know if thats true or not its just her opinion..

 

Also, I dont think not being hit on has anythnig to do with your look. Sometimes I think its more to do with "approachability"-some have it and some do not...

 

TFY

[KungFuJoe]

To be honest, I always thought everyone got approached. I just figured that it was par for the course...that with the millions and billions of people on the planet, surely there would be someone of the opposite sex that found you attractive enough to make the first move.

[arthus1]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

3 times, I'm 19. But none of them worked out for different reasons but it's something, I'm naturally a hit with women...not to brag.

[arthus1]

interesting....

 

When I was in HS and college(especially HS), it was a bonanza. Back then (no cell phones), girls would leave notes in your locker saying how much they wanted you, blah, blah..It was cool. truth is at that age all you needed was a cool car or if you were on a team(in my school it was wrestlng or swimming) then you basically had your pick...

 

TFY

 

All of this technology is really alienating people.

[Truthsayer]

Lifetime probably like 8 times. But after hundred's if not thousands of rejections it doesn't matter.

[Lich1]

Twice. Once was at a party, and I blew it. The second time was a person telling a friend of mine that she was interested in me and that ended with me rejecting her in a manner of speaking (mainly because I couldn't get involved with anyone at the time, not because I wasn't attracted to her, which I was).

 

There was also once where a girl came up to me and struck up a conversation, but I don't think she was interested in me, even though one of my friends said so. She was incredibly attractive and was either just being friendly to expand her acquaintance base or messing around. So I'd count that as a half at best.

 

2.5 times in 26 years.

[insertnamehere]

I've heard this before where guys do pick up on "obvious" signals. What are these signals?

 

Women can be very subltle and will think they're flying a plane over your house with a baner saying "Ask me out!"

 

More than anything, I work from the basic theory that women won't chance giving the wrong guy a signal. If she's getting into your personal space or making her presence known when you come around, she's interested. Chicks do not go out of their way to say hi to weirdos or interact with potential creepers.

 

Women do not act happy to see you unless they're willing to at least consider the possibility of dating you (or they're pharmaceutical reps). Women do not seek eye contact with men they wouldn't entertain as potential dates.

 

That doesn't mean you can't flame out later. One of the obnoxious facts of the human female is she likes to maintain plausible denial. So, she might like you, pass signals, then you flame out and she denies she was signaling you at all. Chicks do that.

 

These are the facts . . . Regularly getting your attention is a signal. Being near your personal space is a signal. Going out of her way to say hi to you is a signal. Asking about your interests is a signal. Doesn't means she's going to marry. Heck, she might not even date you. She's just letting you know you're allowed to put in an application and it will be reviewed.

[ComeUpOutDaWahta]

I'm 25, and this past weekend I was out at a club, dancing and generally making an ass of myself. However, this was the first time I actually took care in how I dressed when going out, and I've gotten in pretty good shape over the past few months.

 

As I was standing outside having a cigarette, an insanely attractive girl walked right up to me and said "you're hot!" She immediately walked off and left with her friend, before anything else could be said. She may have just been messing with me, I don't know.

 

This is the first and only time anything like that's ever happened. Honestly and truthfully, if you just dress the part, as in making sure your shoes match your shirt, and your pants are in good condition and complement the rest of your outfit, you are pretty much instantly put in higher regard than half of the guys you are around. Couple that with decent hygeine and a freshly shaved face, and you will be thoroughly shocked about how much of a difference it makes in how women look at you, and how confident you feel.

[man_in_the_box]

My girlfriend was the only person to actively pursue some kind of romantic interest with me - although I didn't recognize it bakc then and thought we were just good friends. But were still together 4.5 years later so logically I don't get approached anymore. Then again it virtually never happened so yeah - I had luck once.

[ThaWholigan]

To be honest, I always thought everyone got approached. I just figured that it was par for the course...that with the millions and billions of people on the planet, surely there would be someone of the opposite sex that found you attractive enough to make the first move.

Yeah, same. Most guys I know have been approached quite a few times. Even I have in the time I sucked the most with women. Funny, some would assume I have a social circle full of Alphas

[Necris]

To be honest, I always thought everyone got approached. I just figured that it was par for the course...that with the millions and billions of people on the planet, surely there would be someone of the opposite sex that found you attractive enough to make the first move.

 

That would be nice wouldn't it?

 

But that's not reality.

 

Some people are never approached. Now as a guy I know I'll never be approached by a woman what bugs me is that I'm always rejected when I approach.