monkey00 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Im going to be honest here, most guys (including me) is friends with a girl either cause at one point he wanted (or still wants, hoping to) get into her pants. And for that fact, I cant be friends with girls i dont find interesting, or i lost interest in. Not even friends, i dont even wanna hangout 1on1 with them. But here's one thing i do believe : it's possible to be acquantances with a girl and not want to get into her pants. but most of the time, its rare to talk to each other anyway. Im pretty sure the same rules apply with girls having guy as their friends....am i right ladies? Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 "Cut a long story short... I really like a guy.. he has done all the chasing... been getting on really well, have lots in common, then he says... I just want to stay friends What does this mean?... " it means, "You are not attractive enough for me to want to sleep with, but we could still hang out so that I could use you as a manipulation tool to make my next girlfriend jealous." Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob it means, "You are not attractive enough for me to want to sleep with, but we could still hang out so that I could use you as a manipulation tool to make my next girlfriend jealous." Link to post Share on other sites
DinNJ Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Ummm... Yes, but the minute, no, the second... one or the other starts to feel a lil' more then friendship... then the friendship is over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreaming4ever Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 I don't think girls are friends with guys with the hope of eventually getting into their pants at all. I have had many guy friends over the years that I have felt completely platonic about and I've still had fun hanging without them and talking to them. My whole point of starting this thread was to try to understand if guys are different in this respect and I think I have my answer, they ARE. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Ran across this thread and decided to provide a little extra data. First off, I've never STARTED a friendship with the intention or hope of someday sleeping with the girl in question. If I know I have feelings for someone, I don't even start down that road. It's dishonest for one thing, and I don't like the idea of becoming some kind of "sleeper cell"; attempting to sabotage her relationships and build up something with her. That's very slimy and not my style at all. If I want someone I'm straightforward with my intentions. Personally, I can be friends with a girl under the following conditions: 1) If she is terribly ugly but fun to talk to and be around. 2) If I think she's attractive, but know she'd be a terrible girlfriend. 3) If I think she's attractive, but have no desire to risk ruining the friendship by crossing that line. (i.e., I value her friendship more than the idea of banging her) If any of the following things occured I would back away from the friendship: 1) If she grew feelings for me and either of us were attached. 2) If she grew feelings for me and I did not feel the same for her. 3) If I grew feelings for her and either of us were attached. 4) If I grew feelings for her and she did not feel the same way. Final note. If it were possible to be in a FWB situation with a female friend, while we were both single, and I could guarantee that she would never develop feelings for me....I'd definately do it. Take from that what you will. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Originally posted by Grinning Maniac Personally, I can be friends with a girl under the following conditions: 1) If she is terribly ugly but fun to talk to and be around. 2) If I think she's attractive, but know she'd be a terrible girlfriend. 3) If I think she's attractive, but have no desire to risk ruining the friendship by crossing that line. (i.e., I value her friendship more than the idea of banging her) If any of the following things occured I would back away from the friendship: 1) If she grew feelings for me and either of us were attached. 2) If she grew feelings for me and I did not feel the same for her. 3) If I grew feelings for her and either of us were attached. 4) If I grew feelings for her and she did not feel the same way. actually i think thats the same with me. But the problem is when the girl falls for me, and at that point im not gonna stick around in the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Badbrother13 Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 I thought I would offer my two cents and also share my recent experience: I went to Florida recently to interview with a college in anticipation of moving there. An online friend of mine of 8 years (a single attractive female), came up from Miami to see me. Sarah and I dated for a while before going our seperate ways back in '98, and kept in constant contact for 8 long years. We emailed each other every day, we knew secrets about each other, had common interests, I was able to make her laugh like no other. We'd each had our share of unsuccessful relationships during our time apart. But in the end I was always thinking back to her...you know, when they talk about who was the "one that got away." To me, it was always Sarah. So when she came to see me and we spent a day together, all the time I was thinking it was time to start things over. I'm a 26 year-old single attractive successful male and she's the same way. Then the bombshell gets dropped on our way back to her car...she says "when you come down here, you can set me up with your cuuuutte guy friends." This is my take on it... If I want a buddy, I'll go to a bar and sit next to a drunk. I'm looking to settle down, I'm looking to fall in love and I want a family someday. Why would I set her up with other men, watch as she flirted with other men, especially friends of mine?! I felt extremely insulted...somewhere along the lines she had mistaken me for another woman or a gay man, because that's who sets her up, not me. And the even sadder fact is that she had suspected that I wanted to take things further before she brought this up. I of course, told her that wasn't going to happen because I wanted to take our relationship further. She acted as if that was such an absurd suggestion, and felt that I had no place even bringing it up. She said "I don't date friends." I told her that if the subject made her feel uncomfortable, we would not discuss it further...then she drove back to Miami. Two days later I talk to her and she says she wants to call the friendship off for good. That if she couldn't be comfortable flirting with other men, even close friends of mine, that we couldn't hang out at all...so before anyone says it, I know: if she decided to drop the friendship so suddenly, maybe she wasn't all I thought her to be. To me, she held a big part of my heart and it's tough to not have her around. My opinion is that platonic relationships are perfectly acceptable...if you're 13 years old. Either that, or a single male and single female should at least have enough respect for each other that if one doesn't want to date, that at least be sensitive to their feelings and not be a complete flooze in front of them. Sarah wanted me to be her buddy, her doormat to foot the bill for dinner while she hit on my friends. I'm glad this disaster is over so that I will never have to deal with the prospect of coming back to my apartment to the sounds of the woman I loved and my roommate getting it on in the bedroom. I have female friends, but I will be honest, the first thing I look at when I see an attractive single female is not "oh, I can't wait to set her up with one of my buddies" or "great! I need a new friend"...no, I see an attractive female and first I say "beautiful woman, I think I should get to know her better." After determining the crucial ingredients, such as common interests, compatibility, humor, etc., we schedule a rendevous and I consider us at the "dating" stage...if she mentions liking another guy, seeing another guy, I consider her not single and certainly not perceptive, because I refuse to play the buddy/brother of a single attractive woman. Not when I'm in the market for a girlfriend...I shouldn't have to. To sum it up, guys and girls can be friends. But if the guy is on the look for a girlfriend, don't expect him to stick around long... Link to post Share on other sites
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