Mail-order bride

[edgygirl]

Hmmm as a foreigner who lives in the US, is highly educated and needs no man to support me... I must say most of you guys have a naive view of foreign women.

 

There are several types obviously. There are 2 main differences between an American woman and a foreign one.

 

1. Many times the foreign woman will hold an American guy in higher esteem than he deserves because it's hard to tell how much of a loser / jerk / player / controlling freak / idiot a man is, due to cultural differences. Even for educated women who don't need a man to support them, sometimes it's hard to tell right after just moving here or before moving here. But I guess with time she WILL know - that's why sometimes even if she didn't come here to marry you in a green card cruise, she'll realize you're a loser and want to leave you. Which honestly I think is fair enough. People can change their minds. So, if you do get a mail bride, it's at your own risk. Most men like to blame the exes saying they were gold diggers / green card diggers so they feel less bad when they realize the women found out they're idiots after learning the culture and the language better.

 

2. Some women come from countries where men are complete jerks or chauvinists. Or where there are not enough men. Or where there's not enough money. And they are not educated. So it seems an American no matter what would be a much better choice than what they have at home. In the beggining they come all happy thinking they snatched the best guy in the world. A lot of times after adapting to the culture they realize they married the aforementioned loser / (...) and run for the hills. Can you blame them?

 

I think men looking for mail order brides or foreign women should stay more or less on the same cultural level and go for women who are in similar level (economical, education, cultural). I for one would never go for guys below my level as I know I wouldn't get along with them no matter what. Problem is men usually don't think exactly with the brain, and go for looks only. No wonder later problems come up and you realize you're incompatible.

[edgygirl]

This should be interesting - documentary on PBS tonight on mail order asian brides:

 

http://tv.nytimes.com/2013/05/06/arts/television/seeking-asian-female-on-pbs-shows-an-internet-order-bride.html?hpw

[Nyla]

I knew a man who only liked to date "Filipina young girls". He wanted someone young and naive that he could control and since he was not successful enough for European women his age, he wanted to meet someone who would be in awe of him.

 

This man was stupid enough to send money for one young Filipina's computer and some of her courses. They never met in person, just talked on the phone.

 

A friend of an ex married a Romanian housekeeper who didn't speak a word of English. He wanted a woman to slave for him and he refused to let her go to school, because this "man" did want his wife to meet someone else in college. He also didn't want her to become educated and have too many ideas of their own.

 

Most of the mail order brides marry older rich men, so that they can live off that man and keep house for him. If the mail order brides are only interested in citizenship, the marriages end as soon as the mail order bride gets her papers.

 

I've also seen this happen when North American women go to the Carribean and get duped by fast talking local men. These women are often desperate and painfully naive. The dumb women see their "husbands" a few times a year, so the Carribean men play the field while their wives are in the U.S or Canada. Once those men leave their island to live with their wives; they wait for their citizenship and divorce the foolish women who supported them financially for years.

 

I know long distance relationships can work out; it is just that I am very cynical about them because I rarely see one that is successful.

[thefooloftheyear]

Problem is men usually don't think exactly with the brain, and go for looks only. No wonder later problems come up and you realize you're incompatible.

 

Ouch!!

 

TFY

[outsidethebox]

Nyla, I know of several marriages that worked. AFA has a list of them. Interesting you somehow know of these horrible situations of a Filiipino and a Romanian but not enough successes to mention it. The Filipino and Romanian women you mention posted and complained about it?

 

Cynical, yes, that would describe you.

[Els]

And if I was offensive it was in assuming she worked as a professor at the university. But I only did that because many of the other guests did.

 

How on earth are you able to find slight in what I posted? Guess you really wanted to.

 

No, all you said was "She told me, straight up, she was well traveled because she had always been a cleaning woman or a nanny." Based on your post, it sounded like YOU assumed she was a mail order bride because of the combination of their income discrepancies and her race - which is, yes, offensive. You made no mention of her telling you about her agency or her mail-order bride setup in your original post. Obviously, if she herself had told you that she had met him through a mail-order bride agency, I would not have said what I did.

[taiko]

Most of the mail order brides marry older rich men, so that they can live off that man and keep house for him.

That reminds me before I got married I was a "Black man" afterwards when I had left the reservation I was a "good Black man"

[FitChick]

My mother's neighbor was a short, namby pamby guy in the Air Force who had met his wife when he was stationed in Korea. She was an illiterate peasant who cleaned the offices. Not very attractive. Didn't speak a word of English. She was pregnant within the year and tried to leave the baby at the hospital -- she didn't want him because he had slanted eyes. She thought her baby would look American. In a year or two after that, when I went home for a visit, she had changed dramatically from the timid, plain invisible woman to a stretch pant wearing, smoking, heavily made up shrew who swore at her husband in a thick Korean accent. My mother said she had become friends with other AF wives and they evidently taught her a thing or two.

[outsidethebox]

I love it. Good story. Namby pamby is now playing Who's the Boss.

[FitChick]

With eleven million or more illegals about to get amnesty, why travel to another country to find a foreign bride?

[will1988]

Appropriately, there is now a FilipinoCupid ad in this thread. Made me laugh.

 

yep, I get the anastasia dating website for Russian and Ukranian women on this site all the time. All of them look very hot, and LS knows I have a weak spot for women from Easten Europe! However, I'm engaged to a nice southern girl and would not think to join these sites for mail order brides.

 

good luck op, you will find someone one day!

[LovelyLife]

The way America's economy is low now, and how these "developing countries" economy is booming, I can foresee American agencies sending American mail order brides there very soon, lol.

 

Get real guys... Most people don't even want to come to America anymore. No money, no work, no jobs here!

 

 

My husband and I have a little joke between us that I married him for the easy living, house on the hill and socialized health care. We met here - but he is a rather affluent Italian citizen. And yep - I was pushing for my citizenship three months before our wedding.

[outsidethebox]

With eleven million or more illegals about to get amnesty, why travel to another country to find a foreign bride?

 

Fine if you're Latino or interested in them.

 

Also would be more of an option for women as there are so many more illegal men than women. And the foreign stuff interest is mostly men.