denxnis Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Please buckle your seatbelt once you have been seated in the rollercoaster. Haha jk, but seriously I never thought I would see this post from you. 1
aisuru Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I completely understand the thoughts behind your original post. I've been there. I think it's okay to break contact so far out as sometimes, it shows you where you are. 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Please buckle your seatbelt once you have been seated in the rollercoaster. Haha jk, but seriously I never thought I would see this post from you. I know. Im as surprised as anyone! Weird! Cav
Am4Real Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Cav, We all know about “drunk dials”, “drunk texts”, and intentional “bar run-ins” but rarely do we hear from a regular LS poster, like you, and a strong proponent of NO CONTACT, like you, screwing up so severely. LOL Well at least your honest about it and confessed rather than take the windy road like McGriff, where I had to practically beat the confession out of him over a matter of days and plenty of posts. Okay, I’m kidding the both of you and approach you both with honorable respect. However, CAV, it sounds like the sight of her struck a longing chord with you. Can we believe you did not intentionally drive by her workplace and this is in fact your normal route? It’s okay if you want to continue your confession, btw! Seriously though, you reached out for your own reasons, it’s done. No need to block her number unless she calls and leaves you breadcrumbs. If she responds to the exact question or comment you’re poised, so be it, no need to carry on anything else. Let it rest. Don’t treat this one event like the end of the world by going into high NC gear; you’ve already been through that and pretty much healed, presumably. Just move forward now knowing you did something that probably wasn’t in the best interest of yourself! Have a great night! 2
aisuru Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Cav, We all know about “drunk dials”, “drunk texts”, and intentional “bar run-ins” but rarely do we hear from a regular LS poster, like you, and a strong proponent of NO CONTACT, like you, screwing up so severely. LOL Awww, am I weird that I don't think breaking contact once you're "over it" is so bad or a severe screw up? I have very few exes I haven't kept in contact with in some way. Some took months to be back in touch and some took years. But random contacts have been kind of nice. They were part of my life and those relationships contributed to who I am today, even if breaking up was awful in the moment. Heck, my ex I was with for almost 6 years is like, dare I say it, like my brother now. HA. I know, weird. I know I'm new here and don't know everybody's history.... and I'm probably the weird one. But well, I don't think it's that strange to hear this. It's refreshing. 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Congrats Cav!! *blows trumpet* So happy for ya! And oh you just inspired me to do the same Cos I have this feeling that my ex is gonna be the one sinking this time after all the lies and cheats and I think I'm gonna be just fine if he ignores my attempt to start contact again. And maybe I can get his new gf jealous or something (god am I childish?) haha Well on second thought, I'm better than that!! I'll ignore this stupid idea for now Hey gal how are you?!
Simon Phoenix Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I honestly don't think this is a really big deal. If anything, the amount of time that cav spent counting his NC was his last remnant of the old relationship. Now that's dead, so everything is dead. That being said, cav did his work and used NC the way it is supposed to be used, to move on. If anyone who is fragile uses this as an excuse to break NC, then you are basically spitting in cav's face for starting this thread. So don't do it. 3
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) I honestly don't think this is a really big deal. If anything, the amount of time that cav spent counting his NC was his last remnant of the old relationship. Now that's dead, so everything is dead. That being said, cav did his work and used NC the way it is supposed to be used, to move on. If anyone who is fragile uses this as an excuse to break NC, then you are basically spitting in cav's face for starting this thread. So don't do it. Huh. I cant count my NC anymore? F*ck... what the hell am i going to do with my time. And on top of that NA never posts anymore. Lol Ohh still here feel fine. Havent exploded yet. Dont miss her. Just a few fond memories last night. Completly unaffected by text exchange. In fact I think im better off. I think I figured out why i did it. I always imagined during the darkest days of the BU having some communication with her and not caring at some point in the future. Ha well I did it! Yesterday I graduated! NC mission completed!! Off to better pastures! New girl awaits. Im free of it. I knew what i was doing the whole time i guess! Wooo hooo. Rock on! Cav PS Simon is right. Anyone who is hurting still or even a little unsure of thier emotioal state PLEASE dont break NC. NC was the biggest factor in getting over my EX. Will still continue to preach it!! What i did yesterday would have sent me into a death spiral months ago. So dont break it until 110 percent indifferent if then. Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99 4
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Another of my Generals has fallen, I see........ 4
th90 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Hey gal how are you?! I'm fine Been busy lately. just last week I had a thought or two about my ex and what we could have been. Now? Screw that coward!! I'm really happy for you and your new RS. I hope this one goes really really well 1
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) Another of my Generals has fallen, I see........ Hi TaraMaiden! Im perfectly fine. Im soo pleased. Cant believe it. It is like i passed final exams. I used hardore NC to recover and just proved unequivically that it worked! Yay for NC and LS. Cav Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Am4Real Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 All this is very noble but there was a reason, a true reason you reached out to her. The more posts you make and respond to others in this thread the obvious it becomes you had an intention, a glimpse of hope when you pressed SEND and are seemingly concealing it by mentioning “on to new girl” several times and so on. The reason you are in a good position “now” to handle a response from her or what might have been no response or possibly a return negative comment like “leave me the f&ck alone” is because you have been healing, giving it time and hanging around here on LS. I’m sorry I do not believe this was about proving something to yourself and you did not have any intentions. And should you stick to that reasoning as others on LS who are supporting it as a means to prove something to yourself, let me ask this: “how selfish is that” is such an act? Like really? Do you think your EX thought, oh nice, there CAV goes again, proving he is right and I am wrong? After you learned of the theory of gravity did you go and jump off a building to prove or disprove it – without consideration -- no it just made sense. And like all the advice you receive and obviously GIVE, it makes good sense, no need to prove it to you or anyone else. Let’s call your agenda the spade it probably was. You saw her..whether intentionally planned or not; the sight of her struck up a longing chord, a curiosity from the months of silence and you took the risk. You are obviously in a good place and time to handle the risk and so recently and wisely advising others in this last post to NOT follow your footsteps. I’m calling you out on the reasons you did it – and whatever the reason was – why – because we’ve been in your shoes – we’re all prone to many things we know better off! Huh. I cant count my NC anymore? F*ck... what the hell am i going to do with my time. And on top of that NA never posts anymore. Lol Ohh still here feel fine. Havent exploded yet. Dont miss her. Just a few fond memories last night. Completly unaffected by text exchange. In fact I think im better off. I think I figured out why i did it. I always imagined during the darkest days of the BU having some communication with her and not caring at some point in the future. Ha well I did it! Yesterday I graduated! Off to better pastures! New girl awaits. Im free of it. I knew what i was doing the whole time i guess! Wooo hooo. Rock on! Cav PS Simon is right. Anyone who is hurting still or even a little unsure of thier emotioal state PLEASE dont break NC. NC was the biggest factor in getting over my EX. Will still continue to preach it!! What i did yesterday would have sent me into a death spiral months ago. So dont break it until 110 percent indifferent if then. 1
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) All this is very noble but there was a reason, a true reason you reached out to her. The more posts you make and respond to others in this thread the obvious it becomes you had an intention, a glimpse of hope when you pressed SEND and are seemingly concealing it by mentioning “on to new girl” several times and so on. The reason you are in a good position “now” to handle a response from her or what might have been no response or possibly a return negative comment like “leave me the f&ck alone” is because you have been healing, giving it time and hanging around here on LS. I’m sorry I do not believe this was about proving something to yourself and you did not have any intentions. And should you stick to that reasoning as others on LS who are supporting it as a means to prove something to yourself, let me ask this: “how selfish is that” is such an act? Like really? Do you think your EX thought, oh nice, there CAV goes again, proving he is right and I am wrong? After you learned of the theory of gravity did you go and jump off a building to prove or disprove it – without consideration -- no it just made sense. And like all the advice you receive and obviously GIVE, it makes good sense, no need to prove it to you or anyone else. Let’s call your agenda the spade it probably was. You saw her..whether intentionally planned or not; the sight of her struck up a longing chord, a curiosity from the months of silence and you took the risk. You are obviously in a good place and time to handle the risk and so recently and wisely advising others in this last post to NOT follow your footsteps. I’m calling you out on the reasons you did it – and whatever the reason was – why – because we’ve been in your shoes – we’re all prone to many things we know better off! Ummm nope. Im cool. I guess i did take a risk and am fine with that No weird agenda. Definitly no hope of getting back with her. Didnt cross my mind. Just happened. Cav Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
Am4Real Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Here we go...another McGriff moment....LOL! I'll let it rest for now. You're not alone, here is a poster making a similar "reasoning". But read the thread closely, she gives clear hints of where she really is post b/u, her reasons for reaching out well into the healing process, etc. Post is here Regardless CAV, it takes honesty to post about your experience here knowing it goes against all the advice you gave; others will learn from this thread. You've done a good thing. Ummm nope. Im cool. Cav 3
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) Here we go...another McGriff moment....LOL! I'll let it rest for now. You're not alone, here is a poster making a similar "reasoning". But read the thread closely, she gives clear hints of where she really is post b/u, her reasons for reaching out well into the healing process, etc. Post is here Regardless CAV, it takes honesty to post about your experience here knowing it goes against all the advice you gave; others will learn from this thread. You've done a good thing. Thanks man . I get what your saying. But i think im in a different spot than that poster. Sure maybe there was some ego involved but whatever. She can live her life and be happy and ill live mine. Im fine with it ..really. I truly feel i just took the opportunity to finally knock her and even NC 100 percent off the pedestal. Its done. I let go. I dont need to hold onto any of it anymore. Ill still stay NC but my reasons are different now. I dont NEED it anymore. It served its purpose. Im not afaid any more!... even of breaking NC! there is ZERO wondering what she is thinking. If she will text me back. If she misses me. No looking at the phone. None of it. Kaput. Finito. Over..and im quite pleased. Cav Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I'm fine Been busy lately. just last week I had a thought or two about my ex and what we could have been. Now? Screw that coward!! I'm really happy for you and your new RS. I hope this one goes really really well Thanks th90! Really happy to hear your doing well. Stay in touch. Your friend, Cav, 1
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 . Regardless CAV, it takes honesty to post about your experience here knowing it goes against all the advice you gave; others will learn from this thread. You've done a good thing. Touche....Ahhh but i didnt go against my advise. Ive always said stay NC like your life depends on it UNTIL indifferent! Then do as you please.
Thunderchild Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Well done the Cav-meister! Just be careful out there! 1
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Well done the Cav-meister! Just be careful out there! Hey thunderchild! How are you?. Thanks! When i think of you i think "Emotional Fortitude": FYI your attitude helped me a lot. Really helped me buckle down emotionally! Thanks. Cav 1
McGriff Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I thought I heard my name. I have always been real with my feelings on here towards my ex. Now they may change from day to day, hell hour to hour at times. I've always posted my true feelings, and have nothing to hide. They are not always popular, and maybe I get the "bad guy" label, or the "this is an example of what NOT to do" guy. And I'm fine with that. But I have always been real with my feelings and intentions.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 All this is very noble but there was a reason, a true reason you reached out to her. The more posts you make and respond to others in this thread the obvious it becomes you had an intention, a glimpse of hope when you pressed SEND and are seemingly concealing it by mentioning “on to new girl” several times and so on. The reason you are in a good position “now” to handle a response from her or what might have been no response or possibly a return negative comment like “leave me the f&ck alone” is because you have been healing, giving it time and hanging around here on LS. I’m sorry I do not believe this was about proving something to yourself and you did not have any intentions. And should you stick to that reasoning as others on LS who are supporting it as a means to prove something to yourself, let me ask this: “how selfish is that” is such an act? Like really? Do you think your EX thought, oh nice, there CAV goes again, proving he is right and I am wrong? After you learned of the theory of gravity did you go and jump off a building to prove or disprove it – without consideration -- no it just made sense. And like all the advice you receive and obviously GIVE, it makes good sense, no need to prove it to you or anyone else. Let’s call your agenda the spade it probably was. You saw her..whether intentionally planned or not; the sight of her struck up a longing chord, a curiosity from the months of silence and you took the risk. You are obviously in a good place and time to handle the risk and so recently and wisely advising others in this last post to NOT follow your footsteps. I’m calling you out on the reasons you did it – and whatever the reason was – why – because we’ve been in your shoes – we’re all prone to many things we know better off! Meh, this is overthinking things a bit. 1
Am4Real Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Listen here Mr Simon, were you expecting anything less from me? Meh, this is overthinking things a bit.
boblet Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Wow I'm so surprised you did that!! Same for me, no idea why I broke NC recently when I was so far along.. but wasn't as moved on as you, but it was just the final part of trying to move on I guess. Sometimes it's okay to take risks and you've progressed a lot and helped so much of us on here. The good part is, at least she knows you don't harbour any negative feelings towards her so you can be at peace with that. I think I read this somewhere on LS not sure, "Forgiveness is accepting the apology you never got". So even if she never replies or reciprocates your feelings of indifference/forgiveness etc., as you say, Rock on! 1
Author cavalier99 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Ok just checking in. Still here and havent exploded since breaking NC with the couple measley meaningless texts. My honest assessment is. I am completly and totaly 100 percent unaffected and indifferent. Just dont care! Havent even thought about it at all today until now typing this up. Was busy all day and then saw new girl. Dont have space in my brain to think much about ex anymore. She has nothing to do with my life now. Rock on! Cav Edited May 1, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Author cavalier99 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 ...still havent died yet! ps Since NA has disappeared anyone is welcome to use my thread to vent! ROCK ON!: Cav
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