youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I became addicted to him and now that his attention is wavering, I am suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted. Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have that thing one more time. So that’s it. You have now reached infatuation’s final destination - the complete and merciless devaluation of self. -Elizabeth Gilbert I just wish he could be in my life somehow. When will I start to feel better?
shiver23 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 This might help. It definitely has been my anthem for the last while. You'll make it through. This too shall pass. Re-immerse yourself in the things you loved before him. Whether it's a TV show, a book series, a sport, or just taking walks in the park, just live. Good luck. 1
Am4Real Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 (edited) You know from history this is what he is banking on; he is expecting you to break down and let him back in. You also know the consequences. Right? Stay strong. We're all here for you. As I approach the twelve week mark in a few days I can tell you it is worse than the four week milestone and much worse than at eight weeks. However, the realization I have for better things ahead is stronger than it all. My pain, your pain, all pain, will eventually lose out to our willingness to plow through these tough times. I just wish he could be in my life somehow. When will I start to feel better? Edited April 29, 2013 by Am4Real 1
cavalier99 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 It just ends one day. Cant really explain it. You just become you again. All you need to know is to stay NC and keep going. No matter what dont crack. Simple yet hard. Cav
Am4Real Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Ya, ya, ya... She asked "when" and you can't just say "one day", you need to cough up an exact day in order to maintain credibility around here you know!! Just kidding! It just ends one day. Cant really explain it. All you need to know is to stay NC and keep going. No matter what dont crack. Simple yet hard. Cav 1
cavalier99 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Ya, ya, ya... She asked "when" and you can't just say "one day", you need to cough up an exact day in order to maintain credibility around here you know!! Just kidding! Haha. Well from my experience and hanging aroung here for quite a bit. Id say 6 to 7 months pure NC (not even 1 text..ziltch) , the self improvement bs and living your life stuff will pretty much will get you over it. Lol Cav
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 To be honest, I miss him, BUT I feel different this time then the other times we had broken up. I tried to cry tonight and I couldn't. Because crying does make me feel better. So that frustrated me. And to be honest, I am happy. Which makes it feel like it's not warranted. I should be sad and longing him so in turn, I am forcing myself to be sad, trying to cry, and longing for him, because I feel like that's what I should do. I've been thinking about him and I miss him in the sense that he isn't there anymore. I do love him still. But in a way, I feel happy and okay. I'm not even making sense, am I? Is it going to hit me soon? 1
EmptyWalls Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 To be honest, I miss him, BUT I feel different this time then the other times we had broken up. I tried to cry tonight and I couldn't. Because crying does make me feel better. So that frustrated me. And to be honest, I am happy. Which makes it feel like it's not warranted. I should be sad and longing him so in turn, I am forcing myself to be sad, trying to cry, and longing for him, because I feel like that's what I should do. I've been thinking about him and I miss him in the sense that he isn't there anymore. I do love him still. But in a way, I feel happy and okay. I'm not even making sense, am I? Is it going to hit me soon? This is exactly how I feel! It feels as if tears are coming but then they change their mind. Then im just sitting there trying to force tears out because in my mind I think it will feel better!?!? I miss her but I'm ok with the way things are right now because I know deep down it was for the best even if it sucks and hurts everyday. I think its more of a transition phase im going through, as to hang on to what we had and letting go at the same time. I know the best thing to do is let go, but if its really the best thing to do why is it so dang hard? Stupid heart! 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 This is exactly how I feel! It feels as if tears are coming but then they change their mind. Then im just sitting there trying to force tears out because in my mind I think it will feel better!?!? I miss her but I'm ok with the way things are right now because I know deep down it was for the best even if it sucks and hurts everyday. I think its more of a transition phase im going through, as to hang on to what we had and letting go at the same time. I know the best thing to do is let go, but if its really the best thing to do why is it so dang hard? Stupid heart! I know I'm at work and my heart is just aching. I miss him, I do. But what keeps me NC is knowing that I can do better than him. Even though I want him only! I love him, but I know it won't last. I want him, but I know I need to move on. Tug, pull, push...it's exhausting. I had a dream last night that felt SOOO real. We were laying in bed and he looked at me and said "I love you and I want you to be my girlfriend." Then we made love. It was so real until I woke up to reality. I wish I could go back to that dream.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I'm so sad, I feel like I might break NC.
GI_Joy Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I'm so sad, I feel like I might break NC. DON'T!!!!!! You've come so far. Believe me when I say that nothing he'll say will take away all the pain he has caused to you. It's not worth it. He's not worth it.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 DON'T!!!!!! You've come so far. Believe me when I say that nothing he'll say will take away all the pain he has caused to you. It's not worth it. He's not worth it. My heart just hurts. I can't breathe and my heart is racing and my stomach is upside down. I just want to be with him.. I'm not going to contact him, I can't. But I hate this pain I'm feeling. It's uncomfortable. It ruins my day. I want him to miss me. I want him to want only me. I want him to want to be my boyfriend. I want him to hug me, kiss me, and tell me everything will be okay.
GI_Joy Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 My heart just hurts. I can't breathe and my heart is racing and my stomach is upside down. I just want to be with him.. I'm not going to contact him, I can't. But I hate this pain I'm feeling. It's uncomfortable. It ruins my day. I want him to miss me. I want him to want only me. I want him to want to be my boyfriend. I want him to hug me, kiss me, and tell me everything will be okay. I hear ya. Don't know if your pain is the same pain that I feel, but pain is pain. And it hurts. And we think that the person that hurt us will be the same person that will take it away but it isn't. They'll only make it worse. They'll just come back with another bullet to put into your heart, regardless of what they tell you. I cried earlier. I was just sitting at my job at work and suddenly the tears came out. We don't deserve this. 1
iouaname Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Make a deal with yourself! If you don't break no contact today, do something nice for yourself or treat yourself to something. Give yourself a tangible reason to not break contact. I've found that helps me. 2
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Thank you guys. I reminded myself of the time I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. That made me hold back from contacting him. He knows what I want and he knows what he needs to do to get me back in his life. If he changes, he knows how to reach me. Until then, NC. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Make a deal with yourself! If you don't break no contact today, do something nice for yourself or treat yourself to something. Give yourself a tangible reason to not break contact. I've found that helps me. Id tun out of money by now... I get it though,,,,hang in there ladies...Hurts us guys too:(... TFY
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Id tun out of money by now... I get it though,,,,hang in there ladies...Hurts us guys too:(... TFY Guys have feelings too?! Just kidding ;p But I think guys get over it faster. They are forced too. 1
EmptyWalls Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I know I'm at work and my heart is just aching. I miss him, I do. But what keeps me NC is knowing that I can do better than him. Even though I want him only! I love him, but I know it won't last. I want him, but I know I need to move on. Tug, pull, push...it's exhausting. I had a dream last night that felt SOOO real. We were laying in bed and he looked at me and said "I love you and I want you to be my girlfriend." Then we made love. It was so real until I woke up to reality. I wish I could go back to that dream. Keep your chin up beautiful and remember you do deserve better! He dont deserve you and by the time he comes to his senses (if he comes) it will be to late. The dreams do seem so real and pleasant. Its only when we wake do we feel the pain, weird how the mind works. Ever wake from a good dream then try to go back to sleep real quick to jump back into it? lol never works for me either. Everyone says "give it time" and things will get better. That time feels like forever! "There are plenty of fish in the sea" but you've caught one already and don't want to throw it back. I have no answers by any means but a few kind words go a long way! I keep telling my self if you love something set it free, and if it truly loves you it will come back. This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work, someone pass me the remote I want to fast forward to my happy ending. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 ! I keep telling my self if you love something set it free, and if it truly loves you it will come back. I hate that saying...It never works out (for me anyway).. TFY
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Keep your chin up beautiful and remember you do deserve better! He dont deserve you and by the time he comes to his senses (if he comes) it will be to late. The dreams do seem so real and pleasant. Its only when we wake do we feel the pain, weird how the mind works. Ever wake from a good dream then try to go back to sleep real quick to jump back into it? lol never works for me either. Everyone says "give it time" and things will get better. That time feels like forever! "There are plenty of fish in the sea" but you've caught one already and don't want to throw it back. I have no answers by any means but a few kind words go a long way! I keep telling my self if you love something set it free, and if it truly loves you it will come back. This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work, someone pass me the remote I want to fast forward to my happy ending. aww thank you your kind words did help me. you're so sweet. I just hate these moments, they are turning into hours. and then I'm okay. I become numb. and then it will come back and surprise me when I almost forgot. I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you LS friends for being there for me!
hinatticus Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I hate that saying...It never works out (for me anyway).. TFY I hate that saying too, even though it's working out for me. Letting go is tough...
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Guys have feelings too?! Just kidding ;p But I think guys get over it faster. They are forced too. I disagree. Not speaking for all guys here. But we are ill-equipped to deal with matters of the heart. I think many guys just don't let themselves get in too deep because of this. And I am starting to think this may happen to me too You ladies can process these issues much faster and more completely. You have a much better support group and are expected to feel the way you do. Many times, men just put on a brave face and suffer in silence. Not me. I'm making as much noise as I can But, rest assured, when we get dumped, it's a real M'er F'er. At least if we were truly in love. Ask me how I know...
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I disagree. Not speaking for all guys here. But we are ill-equipped to deal with matters of the heart. I think many guys just don't let themselves get in too deep because of this. And I am starting to think this may happen to me too You ladies can process these issues much faster and more completely. You have a much better support group and are expected to feel the way you do. Many times, men just put on a brave face and suffer in silence. Not me. I'm making as much noise as I can But, rest assured, when we get dumped, it's a real M'er F'er. At least if we were truly in love. Ask me how I know... Yea my ex said he doesn't let things hurt him and that he is a tough hard nosed SOB, but said that I did end up hurting him. That's why I think he is doing fine, while I sit here hurt. And, tell me how you know...
hinatticus Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I disagree. Not speaking for all guys here. But we are ill-equipped to deal with matters of the heart. I think many guys just don't let themselves get in too deep because of this. And I am starting to think this may happen to me too You ladies can process these issues much faster and more completely. You have a much better support group and are expected to feel the way you do. Many times, men just put on a brave face and suffer in silence. Not me. I'm making as much noise as I can But, rest assured, when we get dumped, it's a real M'er F'er. At least if we were truly in love. Ask me how I know... I agree with this. But for me I am well equipped to handle matters of the heart. I also have an awesome support group. What made it hard for me was the fact that I'm supposed to put on a brave face and when I didn't it made me look like a whiny little b*tch. I where my heart on my sleeve so everyone I know, knew how much pain I was in. The people that have it easy are the people who never truly cared about the relationship. People with feelings have it the hardest.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I agree with this. But for me I am well equipped to handle matters of the heart. I also have an awesome support group. What made it hard for me was the fact that I'm supposed to put on a brave face and when I didn't it made me look like a whiny little b*tch. I where my heart on my sleeve so everyone I know, knew how much pain I was in. The people that have it easy are the people who never truly cared about the relationship. People with feelings have it the hardest. Both these statements shouldn't be put in the same sentence. True: the one in the relationship who cared LESS won't hurt as much. But that doesn't mean they don't have feelings. They had feelings and still do. It will still be hard for them too, but they had to do what they had to do. When someone just isn't into you that way, they are faced with a decision: fake it or move on. The wise move on. Why continue to lead someone on when you don't like them that way anymore? Relationships end for a reason. Someone lost interest, someone wanted more, someone realized the other just isn't the one. It's that simple. It isn't because they are "bipolar" or "jackass" or a "b.tch" or "have GIGS" It's just that they don't love you anymore. Cruel harsh realization. And we are left cleaning up the pieces. It sucks. But that's life. Anyways, I don't know where I was going with all that. 1
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