steveT95 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I broke NC, this happened: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/388993-massive-argument I felt I had to, the thoughts in my head were driving me insane and now it is happened they are no longer there affecting me. But now I feel I have made myself look like a d*ckhead. I feel as if I am the one that has done all the wrong, even though it wasn't as one-sided as that. And now I want to message her because I don't want to be resented by her or her mates. When we argue it feels good at the time but afterwards I can't believe it is arguing like this. The wounds that seemed to be healing have reopened. I know I should not have broken NC and I have inflicted this on myself but I am just hoping for some input or some reassuring thoughts. Some of you probably feel like I've gone around in circles and I have said this all before and for that I am sorry. I am sure now that is the end of it. I hadn't had things cleared up on my side and now they have been. Although I wish I wasn't hated by her and her friends I guess it was bound to happen.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 You don't need anyone else to kick you, you've already done it. I know the feeling of "that one chance" to seal the deal, get your last word in, or whatever else you wanna call it. I know this because I actually DID have the chance to do it. End result? DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. I didn't particularly want to be hated by her of her friends. Know what? DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE Period!
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Arguments solve nothing. Arguments still leave things wanting to be said, and you merely replace one maelstrom of negative thoughts with a new set. And now I want to message her because I don't want to be resented by her or her mates. When we argue it feels good at the time but afterwards I can't believe it is arguing like this. The wounds that seemed to be healing have reopened. I know I should not have broken NC and I have inflicted this on myself but I am just hoping for some input or some reassuring thoughts. Some of you probably feel like I've gone around in circles and I have said this all before and for that I am sorry. I am sure now that is the end of it. I hadn't had things cleared up on my side and now they have been. Although I wish I wasn't hated by her and her friends I guess it was bound to happen. I have already stated my case regarding NC, both privately to several individuals - who have all contacted me via PM to discuss their breaking NC (!) - and on forum. It's extremely simple. Breaking No Contact merely prolongs the agony. The prolongation is self-inflicted. It's akin to ripping your brain to shreds by nasal-flossing with razor wire. It's akin to slipping shards of bamboo under your nails, or sticking pins into your eyes. But the emotional pain is deeply intense. The solution is simply to not go there in the first place. Breaking NC to perpetuate an argument and try to get the last word in, is just as ridiculous as the phrase "We couldn't help ourselves, it just happened". I know we have discussed this via PM, Steve, but if you post in public, I feel entitled to also comment, in public. Your post is self-contradictory, which proves one thing, and one thing only: You are definitely not over this, you still harbour deep feelings and you really, but really need to go NC, from this instant on. And yeah, you know it: This is DAY ONE.
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