Simon Phoenix Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 We dont need you! lol Cav I called dibs. Back off 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Simon, you're no fun. BUTT, you do give great advice. Chi, thank you for the advice. The one thing I've been doing differently is that I've been going out more and doing things vs staying at home and moping. It has helped tremendously. No contact sucks. There, I said it. I hate it. But, dang, I can't wait till I get over this hill. I'm exhausted. I do feel like I've made some kind of progress. I like to flirt, and I find other men attractive, where as before I became a moody walking zombie who didn't even look at another guy. But, I do hate myself for all this. I hate that it has taken me this long and I still haven't made noticeable improvement. I hate that I still have love for him. I hate that I have to be hurt while he is okay. I hate that I've been a coward and a fool. I hate that the only reason I am still sad is because of me. I've caused all my own pain. Hating yourself does no good. Virtually everyone who's on this site has stumbled somewhere down the road with this kind of stuff. You aren't alone. But what you have to do is know that you need to stick with the NC. You've tried to get around it and every time, it's come back to haunt you. This crap is hard. Most things worth doing are. Everytime you feel weak, remember what happens when you give in to that weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Hating yourself does no good. Virtually everyone who's on this site has stumbled somewhere down the road with this kind of stuff. You aren't alone. But what you have to do is know that you need to stick with the NC. You've tried to get around it and every time, it's come back to haunt you. This crap is hard. Most things worth doing are. Everytime you feel weak, remember what happens when you give in to that weakness. I know. My choices before (breaking NC) got me nowhere and in turn, made matters worse. So now I'm trying something new, staying NC. “Right now I want a word that describes the feeling that you get--a cold sick feeling, deep down inside--when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again quite be the same person you were.” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I know. My choices before (breaking NC) got me nowhere and in turn, made matters worse. So now I'm trying something new, staying NC. “Right now I want a word that describes the feeling that you get--a cold sick feeling, deep down inside--when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again quite be the same person you were.” And be hardcore about it. Block his phone number, block his email, block him on social media, do what it takes. Trust me, not knowing anything their doing expedites the process. Sure, you'll have visions of them having the time of their life occasionally, but visions of that are a lot better than seeing it in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Corydm Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I've been sleeping a lot lately. Dragging my feet throughout the day. The neat freak I am has completely become an utter mess. Clothes everywhere, bathroom dirty, kitchen dishes in the sink, even my car is a mess, I am a mess...What has happened to me? My ex ignored me for close to 2 months in December and January, it wasn't till when he saw me truly hurting that he came to the rescue to be there for me when I was sexually assaulted. He saw me hurting and put aside the petty crap to be a man, to do what is right. The e-mail I received a couple days ago from him has stuck to my mind like glue. I have read it 47 times. I see him hurting and what do I do? Ignore him. Albeit all the things he hasn't done right in our relationship, he is someone I consider close to family. He is a best friend. And he really truly has issues that he needs to work with (commitment wise), but is it okay to shun him out, ruthlessly? I think of what I would say to him, how I would reply and I don't even know where I would start, what words I would choose. Then I think sometimes there's nothing to say. Sometimes silence expresses more than words. Picking up the phone, dialing a number, it can do more damage than good. But humans are afflicted with this obsessive desire to talk things to death. So we make things worse by trying to make things better. So in the end, I sit here with my clothes everywhere, tissues on the floor, wine glasses on the nightstand and my heart outside of my chest...asking myself "Am I doing the right thing?" I think for your own good that you need to shun him out, ruthlessly. You are a beautiful girl, and any guy would be lucky to have you. This is a guy that for two years, on and off, would not make a commitment to you. You deserve SO much better than that! I understand what you're going through though, and the urge to reply/contact him. Don't. Stay strong, for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I know. My choices before (breaking NC) got me nowhere and in turn, made matters worse. So now I'm trying something new, staying NC. “Right now I want a word that describes the feeling that you get--a cold sick feeling, deep down inside--when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again quite be the same person you were.” Yup it will never be the same. It is like death and rebirth. There really is NO going back. But that is ok. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Yup it will never be the same. It is like death and rebirth. There really is NO going back. But that is ok. Cav It's only okay if I got you Cav... Link to post Share on other sites
Corydm Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I think what made it so hard, is I'm a giving, caring person. I really hate to see people hurt, especially when I love them. So ignoring him has been the hardest thing for me. But in the end, I need to make this about me now. Not him. I can't do anything to help him anyways, he has his issues he needs to sort out on his own. Exactly. You need to make this about YOU now. You need to do what's best for YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 It's only okay if I got you Cav... Haha your mighty flirty today! Cant complain. You need to go out i think with your girlfriends and dance and get f*cked up! Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noma Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 If we lived close I would get drunk with you! And we could keep each others phones so as not to be tempted. Stay strong! Good job posting and not acting! I plan to do more of that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 Haha your mighty flirty today! Cant complain. You need to go out i think with your girlfriends and dance and get f*cked up! Cav I LOVE flirting, in fact I think it's the anecdote to heartbreak. :-) Can't go out tonight. Visiting my mom instead, but me and her are going out to dinner (Red Lobster, YUM) and the casino! Fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 If we lived close I would get drunk with you! And we could keep each others phones so as not to be tempted. Stay strong! Good job posting and not acting! I plan to do more of that! Oh, I wish!! That'd be sooo much fun. Anyone live in Arizona?!?! I really need to find some friends All mine live far away or have boyfriends/husbands. Yes, posting here instead of contacting an ex, is way better! Link to post Share on other sites
GI_Joy Posted April 27, 2013 Share Posted April 27, 2013 Oh, I wish!! That'd be sooo much fun. Anyone live in Arizona?!?! I really need to find some friends All mine live far away or have boyfriends/husbands. Yes, posting here instead of contacting an ex, is way better! Stay strong! And please, please, please take a couple of shots for me. I'm too exhausted from the past couple of days. I haven't necessarily broken NC per se but I found some disturbing truths that I've been led to by way of my handy dandy No-Fail intuition. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Share Posted April 27, 2013 Stay strong! And please, please, please take a couple of shots for me. I'm too exhausted from the past couple of days. I haven't necessarily broken NC per se but I found some disturbing truths that I've been led to by way of my handy dandy No-Fail intuition. Oh gosh, I can barely tolerate one shot!! I'm a light weight! So you mean, you DID break no contact? No contact means not finding things you aren't supposed to find! PM me what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
GI_Joy Posted April 27, 2013 Share Posted April 27, 2013 Oh gosh, I can barely tolerate one shot!! I'm a light weight! So you mean, you DID break no contact? No contact means not finding things you aren't supposed to find! PM me what happened. Unfortunately I can't PM since Im not an established member yet, but you can read/reply all about it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/389228-he-fooled-me-well It's absolutely disgusting and I feel gross. I'm still at a loss for words. Link to post Share on other sites
EmptyWalls Posted April 27, 2013 Share Posted April 27, 2013 I cleaned my room a little and put some things away, feel better. I still think of him every minute, I still dream of him every night, I still love him... But I'm focusing on moving on, staying strong, just had a moment... Ahhhhh yes the gold ole "moments", this is what truly sucks imo. We can keep moving all day long, keep ourselves occupied until the very last minute of the day. But when we lay down to go to sleep (IF WE SLEEP), they always run through our minds one last time. Then to only wake in the morning and remember we dreamed about them, SHOOT! Starts the day off nicely it does.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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