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Dinner with the ex tonight.

McGriff

By McGriff
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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McGriff Established Member

McGriff

Posted
Posted

Ok, so some of you know my situation (and despise my actions ;)), but tonight we are having dinner. Just a little background---BU 2 months ago, 3 weeks NC until about a week and a half ago she started texting me. It's been everyday since. Well we went and had a drink a few nights ago, and last night I don't know what happened to her, but she was really being flirty and loving. Sent me the "I love you and miss you" text, as well as saying that she wishes she would have talked about our issues before breaking up, instead of just breaking up cold turkey. Anyway, so she invited me over last night to "snuggle". I went, because I still love her and we didnt do anything but spoon and then fall asleep. I left this morning, and she texted me she wanted to have dinner this evening to "talk", BUT, she followed that up by saying she didnt want me to get the wrong impression or lead me on. Haha---I love women! So I said ok, lets do it. I am going in with absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS. I am not tied to any outcome and will let the cards fall where they may. I am in a good place mentally, and whatever happens I will be ok. I may not like it, she i promise she will never know. I think I am gonna get her a card or something, just kinda letting her know that I'll always love her/cherish her and our time together. I will only give it to her if things seem to be over. I will have another card with a similar but fitting message if things go more towards reconciliation. Haha---I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with that idea :). Anyway, we'll see what happens and if anyone has any advice/commentary I'd love to hear it.

  • Like 1
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

You are definetly not JAMES BOND my friend...you're walking right into the trap of "I don't want to lead you on".

 

Translation: I'M LONELY AND YOU ARE ALL I HAVE AT THE MOMENT. OH PLEASE SHOW ME SOME ATTENTION SO I CAN GET OVER THIS LONLINESS AND THEN FIND ANOTHER "RICHARD", I MEAN "DICK" TO STROKE!

 

Come'on man, after hearing her words, what the hell are you doing?

 

 

Ok, so some of you know my situation (and despise my actions ;)), but tonight we are having dinner. Just a little background---BU 2 months ago, 3 weeks NC until about a week and a half ago she started texting me. It's been everyday since. Well we went and had a drink a few nights ago, and last night I don't know what happened to her, but she was really being flirty and loving. Sent me the "I love you and miss you" text, as well as saying that she wishes she would have talked about our issues before breaking up, instead of just breaking up cold turkey. Anyway, so she invited me over last night to "snuggle". I went, because I still love her and we didnt do anything but spoon and then fall asleep. I left this morning, and she texted me she wanted to have dinner this evening to "talk", BUT, she followed that up by saying she didnt want me to get the wrong impression or lead me on. Haha---I love women! So I said ok, lets do it. I am going in with absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS. I am not tied to any outcome and will let the cards fall where they may. I am in a good place mentally, and whatever happens I will be ok. I may not like it, she i promise she will never know. I think I am gonna get her a card or something, just kinda letting her know that I'll always love her/cherish her and our time together. I will only give it to her if things seem to be over. I will have another card with a similar but fitting message if things go more towards reconciliation. Haha---I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with that idea :). Anyway, we'll see what happens and if anyone has any advice/commentary I'd love to hear it.
  • Like 7
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

Wash, rinse, repeat.

  • Like 3
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McGriff Established Member

McGriff

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Am4real

 

There is no trap here. In order for me to get hurt, I must be unprepared. I am mentally prepared for whatever she has to say. She could tell me she's pregnant and moving with some guy to Thailand, and I would raise my glass and say "cheers". Again, I am not emotionally tied to any outcome, I am just going with the flow. Aloof is the word of the day. If she is intentionally or unintentionally using me as an ago boost, I will play along. For now. One thing I know, and I'm not being cocky, but I am a catch for her. I've said it before, she's admittedly only ever dated unsuccessful douchebags and knuckleheads, who have cheated, and treated her like sh*t. I am validated because I know she knows this, and knows how much I adore her and want to share my life with her, because she has acknowledged it. This is a big decision for her, big picture, because as I've said, I am already in the process of moving on. It's like the train is pulling away and I'm on it and she's running to catch it. I love her, I want to be with her, but I am also at the point of letting go. So I don't expect anything. I really don't. As a matter of fact, with her words "leading you on" and such, she's probably already made that decision. If so, her loss. I like to think I'm irreplaceable. So again, I will go with the intentions of enjoying a meal with a woman I love, and will expect the worst, but hope for the best. As for James Bond? I think he would do the same thing, and then sleep with another woman tomorrow. Haha. That may just be the case. ;)

  • Like 5
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
You are definetly not JAMES BOND my friend...you're walking right into the trap of "I don't want to lead you on".

 

Translation: I'M LONELY AND YOU ARE ALL I HAVE AT THE MOMENT. OH PLEASE SHOW ME SOME ATTENTION SO I CAN GET OVER THIS LONLINESS AND THEN FIND ANOTHER "RICHARD", I MEAN "DICK" TO STROKE!

 

Come'on man, after hearing her words, what the hell are you doing?

 

 

If those 7 words dont knock your dick in, nothing will...

 

I wish you well...

 

TFY

AKisBaked Established Member

AKisBaked

Posted
Posted

I would like you to respond and update us after you go for dinner with her. I want to see how "James Bond" turns out. :)

  • Like 1
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McGriff Established Member

McGriff

Posted
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Posted (edited)

I will definitely update tonight (or tomorrow morn). If you are expecting a train wreck, or me coming on here ready to "end it all" or some stupid sh*t, you'll be disappointed. Remember, ole McGriff has other options in his back pocket. I'm gonna be juuuuuust fine. I read a quote from the master of all things Bob Marley: "If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody's going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

 

I've done my suffering, and I've had enough. I love her, but she's off her pedestal. She went out into the world, dated for a month, and got cheated on. If that's the life she chooses. So be it. I'll be fine, I promise :)

Edited by McGriff
  • Like 5
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

If even a fraction of what you wrote were accurate, you would tell her NO THANKS, have a great life and good luck, but you've moved on.

 

Since you have not truly moved on, you are lowering yourself so she can explain all of the faults one more time and afterwards cuddle up and sleep on the couch for a few hours.

 

What a joyous parting.

 

Come'on man, who are you kidding?

 

 

Am4real

 

There is no trap here. In order for me to get hurt, I must be unprepared. I am mentally prepared for whatever she has to say. She could tell me she's pregnant and moving with some guy to Thailand, and I would raise my glass and say "cheers". Again, I am not emotionally tied to any outcome, I am just going with the flow. Aloof is the word of the day. If she is intentionally or unintentionally using me as an ago boost, I will play along. For now. One thing I know, and I'm not being cocky, but I am a catch for her. I've said it before, she's admittedly only ever dated unsuccessful douchebags and knuckleheads, who have cheated, and treated her like sh*t. I am validated because I know she knows this, and knows how much I adore her and want to share my life with her, because she has acknowledged it. This is a big decision for her, big picture, because as I've said, I am already in the process of moving on. It's like the train is pulling away and I'm on it and she's running to catch it. I love her, I want to be with her, but I am also at the point of letting go. So I don't expect anything. I really don't. As a matter of fact, with her words "leading you on" and such, she's probably already made that decision. If so, her loss. I like to think I'm irreplaceable. So again, I will go with the intentions of enjoying a meal with a woman I love, and will expect the worst, but hope for the best. As for James Bond? I think he would do the same thing, and then sleep with another woman tomorrow. Haha. That may just be the case. ;)

HuffmanMontana Established Member

HuffmanMontana

Posted
Posted

I thought you were dating another girl?

 

Scummy if that's accurate.

OwlSoul Established Member

OwlSoul

Posted
Posted

Oh, come on people. Stop it. Nothing you'll say will affect his opinion - he is a grown mature man, not a little kid. Sure he realizes what the negative possibilities of allowing such situations are. He has shown from the previous topics that he won't follow anything from the advice of cutting it off.

 

I'm getting quite annoyed :)

  • Author
McGriff Established Member

McGriff

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Am4real

 

Aww yes, the conventional argument. Tell her to f*ck off and ride off into the sunset. Well, I've always been unconventional. The way I look at it. She's chasing ME right now. I'm investing. Long term. Yeah, we spooned all night, no fun right? But I'm planting seeds, just like I did when we were together. I may not see immediate returns, but believe me, those things will pay off long term, because what's out there for her? The same ole sh*t, younger guys who 97% of them don't have a clue how to treat a woman. It may be weeks, months, or even years, and she will think about McGriff, and who knows where I'll be by then, but she will think back and realize what she gave up. That's good enough for me. She wants to have dinner, lets have dinner. What the f*ck do I have to lose? I'm not with her now anyway. Alot of people around here fear the words that come from their exes mouths. I was that way, and then it dawned on me...who cares?! The sun will come up tomorrow, other women are everywhere, and I meet them all the time. I just happen to be hung up on this particular one, but like I said, she's off the pedestal now, and now she's in the dating pool with the others. She's still "special", but with me get stronger mentally everyday, the playing field is becoming even and I don't hang on her words. Ok, off to the gym! Have a good evening peeps.

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Oh, come on people. Stop it. Nothing you'll say will affect his opinion - he is a grown mature man, not a little kid. Sure he realizes what the negative possibilities of allowing such situations are. He has shown from the previous topics that he won't follow anything from the advice of cutting it off.

 

I'm getting quite annoyed :)

 

Grown yes, mature -- not so much. Can't really believe this guy is 42 with the way he acts. Either way, you shouldn't get annoyed by people's opinions on the internet. That's a little weird.

OwlSoul Established Member

OwlSoul

Posted
Posted
Either way, you shouldn't get annoyed by people's opinions on the internet. That's a little weird.
Why shouldn't I be annoyed? Internet is the same way of communication as phone calls, text messages or even talking. Except for trolling, ofc. Do not really see much of trolls here, do you? I'd say the same words in real life. ;)

 

It's been people commenting like this for 2 topics now. Yeah, first topic, ok. But the second one?

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted

Im still unsure what everyone is all riled up about. McGriff hasnt killed anyone it is just dinner! Rock on! Cav

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Why shouldn't I be annoyed? Internet is the same way of communication as phone calls, text messages or even talking. Except for trolling, ofc. Do not really see much of trolls here, do you? I'd say the same words in real life. ;)

 

It's been people commenting like this for 2 topics now. Yeah, first topic, ok. But the second one?

 

Because its a message board. I'm not saying you have to agree with everyone, but if it actually affects your day, that's taking things a bit too seriously. The dude comes off cocky and arrogant, therefore he gets those responses. He seems less pissed off by them than you do.

 

Honestly, besides the cockiness (which never sets well on a site like this), it's him messing over the other girl that rubs me the wrong way. She doesn't deserve to be a pawn in this game. If it wasn't for her presence, I would just treat McGriff as another dude talking big as a form of overcompensation for previous vulnerability. All men have been there at one time.

OwlSoul Established Member

OwlSoul

Posted
Posted
but if it actually affects your day, that's taking things a bit too seriously.
Then I do not get why would people come here for a support.

 

He seems less pissed off by them than you do.
Ofc. Instead of helping or supporting in the topics where people who really need it get only 1 or two responses... meh, I don't get it.

Pissed off is a way too strong word btw.

 

it's him messing over the other girl that rubs me the wrong way.
It bothers me as well. As well as people on LS or even books advising to start dating after being dumped in order to move on. There is tons of fish in the sea they say. ;) Relationships should never start as a compensation for your hurt feelings.
  • Like 4
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted

I vote for a threesome with Ex and new girl!

ThatJustHappened Established Member

ThatJustHappened

Posted
Posted
I will definitely update tonight (or tomorrow morn). If you are expecting a train wreck, or me coming on here ready to "end it all" or some stupid sh*t, you'll be disappointed. Remember, ole McGriff has other options in his back pocket. I'm gonna be juuuuuust fine. I read a quote from the master of all things Bob Marley: "If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody's going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

 

I've done my suffering, and I've had enough. I love her, but she's off her pedestal. She went out into the world, dated for a month, and got cheated on. If that's the life she chooses. So be it. I'll be fine, I promise :)

 

It's that bolded line that's bothering me. The fact that you consider the other girl you're dating to be 'in your back pocket'. You're essentially saying that she's your second choice. Don't you think she deserves more than that?

  • Like 1
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

"other woman are everywhere" and you go back to the one who just had another guy's penis in her mouth last week. Okay, I'll rest and let you take over from here.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Am4real

 

Aww yes, the conventional argument. Tell her to f*ck off and ride off into the sunset. Well, I've always been unconventional. The way I look at it. She's chasing ME right now. I'm investing. Long term. Yeah, we spooned all night, no fun right? But I'm planting seeds, just like I did when we were together. I may not see immediate returns, but believe me, those things will pay off long term, because what's out there for her? The same ole sh*t, younger guys who 97% of them don't have a clue how to treat a woman. It may be weeks, months, or even years, and she will think about McGriff, and who knows where I'll be by then, but she will think back and realize what she gave up. That's good enough for me. She wants to have dinner, lets have dinner. What the f*ck do I have to lose? I'm not with her now anyway. Alot of people around here fear the words that come from their exes mouths. I was that way, and then it dawned on me...who cares?! The sun will come up tomorrow, other women are everywhere, and I meet them all the time. I just happen to be hung up on this particular one, but like I said, she's off the pedestal now, and now she's in the dating pool with the others. She's still "special", but with me get stronger mentally everyday, the playing field is becoming even and I don't hang on her words. Ok, off to the gym! Have a good evening peeps.

Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

Agree, he is making himself look silly.

 

 

 

It's that bolded line that's bothering me. The fact that you consider the other girl you're dating to be 'in your back pocket'. You're essentially saying that she's your second choice. Don't you think she deserves more than that?
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
I vote for a threesome with Ex and new girl!

 

You've lost it sir.

  • Like 2
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted (edited)
You've lost it sir.

 

Nope.. im cool. Just ligtening the somber mood around here with a few zingers. Everyone seems so serious recently. I bet at least 1 person laughed even if it was just me. :) Cav

Edited by cavalier99
  • Like 3
Pisces13 Established Member

Pisces13

Posted
Posted
"other woman are everywhere" and you go back to the one who just had another guy's penis in her mouth last week. Okay, I'll rest and let you take over from here.

 

Good luck.

 

News Flash - All of the other women around everywhere probably had a penis in their mouth last week too, so what difference does it make?

 

McGriff, your situation with your ex sounds exactly like mine, and also with the way you're dealing with it. My ex has dropped the "I don't want to lead you on" line as well, however she is the one who keeps running back to me. I'm like yourself, I still love and care about her and I want to get back together with her eventually, but she is off the pedestal. I'm a good looking guy with a great personality and I've never had any trouble finding women.

 

So long as you're real with yourself about the situation, which is what I have been and sounds like you have been too with yours, then I think what you're doing is fine. I still see my ex a lot, we have fun together, then I come home and continue living my new life without her. If she wants to get back together eventually, then that is on her to come to me about.

  • Like 2
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

After reading THIS I believe your EX has.

 

How old are you?

 

 

News Flash - All of the other women around everywhere probably had a penis in their mouth last week too, so what difference does it make?

 

Pisces13 Established Member

Pisces13

Posted
Posted
After reading THIS I believe your EX has.

 

How old are you?

 

Exactly, what is your point? I could go out tonight and hook up with some random single girl I've never met before, who could have been with another guy last weekend, does that mean I shouldn't pursue her either? Your point here is flawed.

 

And I'm 26.

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