Why are white nerdy guys so into Asian women?

[Els]

Wow - learn something new everyday...

 

Even when I lived in Panama (and sweat a lot), I had a hard time using that kind of water!

 

Yeah, it was a bit of a culture shock when I moved to a Caucasian country and found that many houses had the toilet separate from the shower. Prior to that, I had assumed that EVERYONE washed their buttocks when they shat at home...

[ViresSanctity]

Showering every day is one thing: Healthy.

 

 

Showering twice a day is obsessive/compulsive. Who does that and/or who expects that of another person???

 

I'm too lazy to shower twice a day, otherwise I would.

 

If you come from a southeastern Asian country like Vietnam where it's humid like Florida, you would shower there probably three times day. Habits form when you move.

 

And oh, please be careful about labeling people with a mental disorder. That's just rude.

[ltjg45]

Possibly.

 

Though I don't see many asian girls with black guys. And in my personal experience they have nothing to do with me, but then again women in general aren't attracted to me so I'm not really a good example.

 

Well, yeah, that is a possibility too.

 

Sounds like you need to adopt the "tattooed, pants-dropping-off-their-butts bad boy" attitude. Honestly.

 

I am a nerdy guy, too, I guess. But the thing about nerdy guys is they're far too often the "nice guys". From my experience, women want some different textures in relationships. Lets call it s'mores. Women like the whole thing... the crispy outer graham cracker layer, the sweet chocolatey flavor, and the gooey part of the marshmellow. Nerdy guys are kinda like a s'more with just the marshmellow. Yeah, they're good, but missing the tasty texture of the graham cracker. Bad boys are like a graham cracker s'more. Tasty and crunchy, but nothing in the middle at all.

 

If you're a nerd, I suggest adopting some graham cracker and throw in the chocolate when you've piqued her interest. Seriously, step out of the comfort zone (a zone nerds totally exist in) and do something crazy, spontaneous, or scary. Put up the impression of the bad boy, then when she bites in, expecting just graham cracker, she gets substance and taste with the bite.

 

****, I want some s'mores now...

 

I'll be happy if I got a quarter of these "bad boys" confidence. Of course, I'm sure going to socially-acceptable places for possible dating helps too.

 

Asking women out on a public city bus? Sounds like total failure incoming not to mention a good amount of embarrassment to boot.

 

If I can get that, I should be fine.

 

Just the matter of getting it.

[Esoteric Elf]

In my department around 50-80% are dating/married to one. It really sucks, because I LOVE nerdy guys.

 

I am not tying to be racist and I know that white men like Asian women in general. But in nerds, its insane.

 

What's the attraction?

Nerdy guys are not as assertive as the more demanding white ladies give airs of. Oriental women are usually far more submissive (or at least raised to be so), so they are "easier pickings" for men like these.

 

You like nerdy guys, huh? That's a first.

[Esoteric Elf]

Yeah, the 'nerd' by your definition is much closer to the Asian male ideal than the Caucasian ideal in general.

 

Shyness is considered 'cute' in Asian culture, and there is no social stigma to nerdiness. In fact, techie guys are quite the rage there. On the other hand, ES, I'm guessing that the guys in your department are in their early 30s and are PhD grads or professors or assoc professors? Career increases a male's value a lot in the Asian culture. Combine all of the above, and those guys are probably more attractive to the average Asian girl than the buff, outgoing bar hoppers.

Bingo. This poster hit the nail on the head.

 

Shyness is actually seen, in some instances (though lesser these days) as a positive trait in that culture; whereas it is negative here.

[AKisBaked]

Maybe these white guys find something "oriental" about these asian women. And I think its more the opposite its more like the asian girls are wanting to date a white guy because of his physical attributes where as an asian guy would not have or would lack compared to a white guy. I'm not saying all white guys like asian's or asian girls like white guys. But having seen and know a few asian girls that are my friends and they are dating white guys, they personally say that a white guy is more "exciting" to be around. They aren't as hesitant in how they look in front of people where as asian guys tend to have a tendency to be more worried on how they are perceived to other. They don't want to be judged by others. Whereas a white guy may not care what others think and be more spontaneous with his actions. I guess you can say a white dude is more "FUN" compared to a asian guy where as he is more "SELECTIVE" in what he chooses to do and whatnot.

 

But these are just general stereotypes on how each race is perceived. Or just maybe white guys prefer asian girls and those asian girls just like white guys? Dunno. Everyones different.

[Els]

Oriental women are usually far more submissive (or at least raised to be so), so they are "easier pickings" for men like these.

 

Haha, I wouldn't be so sure about this. Some, sure. But it's pretty much a myth most of the time. Most people who married an Asian JUST because they thought they'd get a submissive wife who'd let them get away with anything usually came up disappointed.

[Els]

It is more like what the West sees as confidence the East sees as unbridled selfishness and hubris.

 

I've not thought about it this way before, but it makes sense. No wonder I keep calling some guys on this site arrogant, and having others disagree with me. :laugh:

 

FWIW, I think genuine confidence (as in, not oozing lack of self esteem or motivation) is a good thing, but one can be confident without being arrogant (which is what may be commonly perceived as 'confident' nowadays).

[stillafool]

 

 

Showering twice a day is obsessive/compulsive. Who does that and/or who expects that of another person???

 

Really? I shower in the morning and take a bath at night.

[Esoteric Elf]

It is more like what the West sees as confidence the East sees as unbridled selfishness and hubris.

Meh...http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201108/shy-and-popular-depends-where-you-live

 

Coming from an Oriental family and raised with that setting, I have to respectfully disagree with your statement, though I will agree with...

 

Haha, I wouldn't be so sure about this. Some, sure. But it's pretty much a myth most of the time. Most people who married an Asian JUST because they thought they'd get a submissive wife who'd let them get away with anything usually came up disappointed

Certainly, it happens:laugh: But, as the technological age (internet, etc.) comes full swing upon us and cultures intertwine, some fundamental roots will be diluted. Hollywood movies, for one, are becoming increasingly popular in the Orient (with "like" movies seeing increases of upwards of 20%), and those, of course, do not advocate shyness or modesty, so that trait, while still valued in that culture, is becoming increasingly less so.

[Taramere]

Showering every day is one thing: Healthy.

 

 

Showering twice a day is obsessive/compulsive. Who does that and/or who expects that of another person???

 

I shower twice most days. Once when I get up, and later if I'm going out/have been working out in the gym. It would be manky not to have a shower after a workout. If I'm not going out/haven't been to the gym, I'll usually have a shower just before I go to bed, just because I like to feel clean before I go to bed. If I were showering three times a day, I think that would be somewhat OCD - but two quick showers a day (longer if I'm washing my hair) isn't a big deal, I don't think.

 

OT...nerdy guys preferring Asian women, I don't know. Are Asian women gentler on men's egos than Western women? Maybe seen as more nurturing/accepting?

[taiko]

In my department around 50-80% are dating/married to one. It really sucks, because I LOVE nerdy guys.

 

I am not tying to be racist and I know that white men like Asian women in general. But in nerds, its insane.

 

What's the attraction?

perhaps they are not pointed at and called nerds?

 

That's a matter of preference. The guys who like Asian women will find even a 2 to be a 10 while others won't understand what he sees in her.

Or the general culture see's Asian features as exotic and thus the Asian woman gets bonus points by a good enough percentage of the population to move the "nerd" up on the social ladder when he wouldn't from a "White girl" on the same 1 to 10 level

 

Anime? No. Many Asians carry the gene for thalassemia, a blood disorder which prevents them from putting on weight.

Sounds like the advertising copy of a mail order bride agency.

[ascendotum]

How many nerdy guys have you dated?

 

As for nerds being really into Asian women. Maybe the Asian girls are the only ones who would date them.

 

There is a element of nerdy guys having Asian gf's and imo its more along the lines of what SD said. While a women on here say they love nerds, they are not a smash hit in real life for the majority of women, especially if they are nerdy and not particularly masculine men. The Asian girls are not as hung up on macho/cocky persona + maybe there is also an element of 'caucasian guy is better' with these girls, so for these nerdy guys getting a no drama, slender build feminine gf is easier with an Asian then her Anglo equivalent.

[laceyjane]

I'm 100% Asian and reading this thread has been entertaining. Lol I dated a white guy who was "nerdy" and also musically inclined. He was never into Anime and also there was never a time I have felt so "asian" around him. I was attracted to him mostly because of his maturity at the age we started dating. He was 21 and I was 20. He knew how to have fun, let loose and the same time be an alpha. It wasn't because of his interests towards computers and musical instruments. Yeah, I can say those were added points but it wasn't mainly on that. I wasn't submissive, only when needed. Lol and he wasn't either. Although I can say I was a spoiled gf. Haha

[Esoteric Elf]

Describing it as shyness is a Western understanding when what they are promoting is humility. Humility is no longer a valued trait in Western society. Along with humility comes a reserved nature which a Western mind will confuse with shyness. As the article indicates the West is very much about self-promotion while the East is concerned with promoting the group over the self. In the West if you aren't drawing attention to yourself you must be shy which is not the case causing East Asians to appear shy to a Western pov.

Uhhh, huge bad on my part. I misunderstood the cardinal directions and mistook the East for being West and West for being East, since they rely on perspective points (of which there are established ones I was ignoring ).

 

From what I gather, you are correct on all accounts when these directions are switched (your "East Asians" comment cued me in). Sorry 'bout that.

[Els]

 

Certainly, it happens:laugh: But, as the technological age (internet, etc.) comes full swing upon us and cultures intertwine, some fundamental roots will be diluted. Hollywood movies, for one, are becoming increasingly popular in the Orient (with "like" movies seeing increases of upwards of 20%), and those, of course, do not advocate shyness or modesty, so that trait, while still valued in that culture, is becoming increasingly less so.

 

This is partly true.

 

But also, the doormat definition of 'submissiveness' that Westerners like to paint Asian women with has a lot of loopholes. Even the ones who ARE 'submissive' in certain ways... well, many of them have inner tigresses. Did you know that, for instance, in China, it's socially expected for the husband to give the wife his entire paycheck, so she manages the money for the household and gives him an 'allowance' out of it? There was a controversy recently in which a certain bank offered a financial plan that automated this transfer and received backlash from the more modern young generation.

 

Another example would be some of the Singaporean girls I know, who are demure as flowers on the outside, but will leave a man in cold blood if a richer counterpart makes an offer. And that would be completely acceptable in their culture (though of course some others genuinely do believe in love and don't do that sort of shyt).

 

Just like with Westerners, there are all sorts in Asian society. Don't let first impressions deceive you.

[USMCHokie]

Maybe the Asian girls are the only ones who would date them.

 

This.

 

For many Asian women, dating a white man is "winning" in life. And so being white transcends all others qualities in a man.

 

For a white nerdy guy who has no other real prospects for dating and you stumble across the Asian girl who will open up her legs simply because you're white, then why the hell not?!

[Els]

This.

 

For many Asian women, dating a white man is "winning" in life. And so being white transcends all others qualities in a man.

 

For a white nerdy guy who has no other real prospects for dating and you stumble across the Asian girl who will open up her legs simply because you're white, then why the hell not?!

 

No, there is a very specific subset of Asian women who specifically prefer white men to any other men. Example being the sarong party girl. They are usually looked upon with disdain by most other Asians, in a similar vein with prostitutes.

 

Interestingly, if they marry Asian men for money, it's considered acceptable.

 

Ah, culture.

[Els]

I knew in Japan traditionally the wife gets the husband's paycheck and she gives him a small allowance from it. This gets brought up frequently in discussions about marriage and usually as a reason not to.

 

Japanese men still tend to marry more so than Americans do, for various reasons, including a free housekeeper and the desire for children.

[USMCHokie]

No, there is a very specific subset of Asian women who specifically prefer white men to any other men.

 

This must be a very large "subset"...

[Els]

This must be a very large "subset"...

 

Can't comment on where you live, but hasn't been the case in my experience (multiple countries).

[mesmerized]

I work with a lot of white nerdy men and they're usually into white women. Why do you like them anyway? They're like the least desirable type to me

[USMCHokie]

I work with a lot of white nerdy men and they're usually into white women. Why do you like them anyway? They're like the least desirable type to me

 

You're only as attractive as what you can attract. If those white nerdy men are attracted to white women and can attract them, then they'll stick with the white women. If they can't attract them, then at least they have recourse.

[Els]

Ah, interesting. Seems like I'm still living back in 2008.

[ViresSanctity]

This.

 

For many Asian women, dating a white man is "winning" in life. And so being white transcends all others qualities in a man.

 

For a white nerdy guy who has no other real prospects for dating and you stumble across the Asian girl who will open up her legs simply because you're white, then why the hell not?!

 

Seems like a lot of posters in this thread have a very "poor" perception of Asian women and the White men who date them, more disdain on the Asian women's side.