! I don't like my ring

[Phoebe]

From what I understand neither one of you have a lot of money right now, you've got a baby coming in just 7 months, he probably figures that you're going to have a lot more important expenses coming your way soon. There are more important things going on in your life than an engagement ring.

 

Maybe he'll surprise you with a new ring for an anniversary when cash isn't so tight. If the ring is in the style you want but it's smaller than you expected, and if he isn't going around blowing his money on stupid stuff then don't say anything to him. With just the information that you've given he seems like a decent guy. Why would you want to upset him by telling him that the ring he could afford was too cheap for your liking?

[WhoreyBull]

Um... then get a new one?

I really really won't think he'll care if you are wearing the one he picked. He probably asked the girl at the counter or his mom what she thought was best Unless your man is a jeweler I think he'll be more interested in your new mommy boobies than a rock.

Edited April 21, 2013 by WhoreyBull

[beauty2013]

Um... then get a new one?

I really really won't think he'll care if you are wearing the one he picked. He probably asked the girl at the counter or his mom what she thought was best Unless your man is a jeweler I think he'll be more interested in your new mommy boobies than a rock.

 

The ring is 1/8 of a carat, and I can't get a new one because he bought it off of ebay... I don't have a problem with that though, but I do wish he would have looked around a little more and put more effort into it. I feel like he just said to himself I want to get married, so any ol ring will do. We are not having a wedding, and I do not plan getting a wedding dress, so I guess I just felt like my ring should be really special, thats all.

[beauty2013]

I would like to let everyone know that I talked to him, like a lot of you said. I told him I thought it would be smart if he took the ring back and used it to fix his car. He informed me that he couldn't and wouldn't do that because he wanted me to have it. I told him I felt like it would be the smartest option since we aren't in the best financial situation, he still didn't budge. I finally told him that I felt like the ring was too simple, he got upset, but he said he understood. We agreed that this would be my promise ring, and he even admitted that he kind of rushed into the whole idea of everything, and didn't think about the ring too much. We are not having a wedding, and I guess I just felt like my ring should be special, since I won;t be buying a wedding dress or anything like that. Anyways, I am sooooo relieved that I talked to him--he was upset with me at first, but eventually understood and agreed with what I said. Thank you all sooooooo much for your advice, you helped me out tremendously.

[MissBee]

I'm glad it worked out!

 

It seemed like what you were more upset about was that he didn't seem to listen to what you wanted and didn't pay attention, but just got "anything", more so than you were expecting some tens of thousands of dollar ring. I get it. One Valentine's day I had a boyfriend do this. I got him an amazing gift that was something he always wanted and although I told him what I wanted, he got me something else and I was sooo disappointed. What he got me was actually more costly than what I wanted, it didn't matter. What mattered was that I felt like he didn't take the time to listen and choose something I'd like. With an engagement ring, same thing! If I show you what I like...even if you can't afford it, I'd rather us talk about that (although I will know your financial situation and would thus look for rings in your budget that I also like), than for you to just get me anything and expect me to just say "well it's the thought that counts." No.

[WhoreyBull]

The ring is 1/8 of a carat, and I can't get a new one because he bought it off of ebay... I don't have a problem with that though, but I do wish he would have looked around a little more and put more effort into it. I feel like he just said to himself I want to get married, so any ol ring will do. We are not having a wedding, and I do not plan getting a wedding dress, so I guess I just felt like my ring should be really special, thats all.

 

Aw, well he was just all dopey in love. To him it's a shiny trinket that is a sign of getting married. He is focused on the marriage, not the item itself. But to you it's something grandiose, as a little girl you are given a very different image of what the symbols of marriage mean right out the gate and you don't have many of the conventional ones. You do have the guy though hehe~ Tell him you'd like to pawn it or something and get something pretty for yourself since you won't get a "wedding". Maybe you guys could look for it together and that would be special.

*edit posted and saw you talked to him XD haha

Glad it all worked out

[HokeyReligions]

hold on! you do not have to wear the ring forever. I've been married over 27 years and I've had three different rings because I change the settings or I move stones around ... and it's all because it symbolizes something new-- a change of pace or whatever, its just a ring. you can change it exchange it make it an anniversary upgrade its not forever it's the love and marriage that's for ever not the Rings

[pcplod]

With all due respect, she's asking about her ring, not her life choices.

And I'm saying she needs perspective, BADLY.

[pcplod]

I would like to let everyone know that I talked to him, like a lot of you said. I told him I thought it would be smart if he took the ring back and used it to fix his car. He informed me that he couldn't and wouldn't do that because he wanted me to have it. I told him I felt like it would be the smartest option since we aren't in the best financial situation, he still didn't budge. I finally told him that I felt like the ring was too simple, he got upset, but he said he understood. We agreed that this would be my promise ring, and he even admitted that he kind of rushed into the whole idea of everything, and didn't think about the ring too much. We are not having a wedding, and I guess I just felt like my ring should be special, since I won;t be buying a wedding dress or anything like that. Anyways, I am sooooo relieved that I talked to him--he was upset with me at first, but eventually understood and agreed with what I said. Thank you all sooooooo much for your advice, you helped me out tremendously.

 

I'm relieved for you that it has turned out okay.

[KraftDinner]

I mean no disrespect, but if he sold the ring he couldn't fix a car with the money. You can get rings like that at Zales for like $60 (I know because a couple of months ago my fiance were doing our ring shoppping).

[pink_sugar]

I mean no disrespect, but if he sold the ring he couldn't fix a car with the money. You can get rings like that at Zales for like $60 (I know because a couple of months ago my fiance were doing our ring shoppping).

 

I know what you mean. I got a ring for $99 that I sold and only got $20.

[tbf]

A very pragmatic consideration is that the price of gold has escalated ridiculously since 9/11.

 

At the beginning of 2013, it was trading around $1700/oz, drifting up and down since with a mild reduction of around $100/oz. But in the last couple of weeks, it dropped another $200/oz.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Straight up, I would not be happy with that ring

 

Go hard or go home, you know?

 

I probably wouldn't say anything, but I would be trying to work out my disappointment deep down.

[Eclypse]

Knowing next to nothing about rings it looks ok to me, but a bit small. Can these things be increased in diameter?

 

I think ring shopping is something you should do together. You already discussed engagement so there was no real surprise. Me and my gf are going to have a discussion about engagement and then go shopping together so she picks out what she wants.

 

By the way congratulations on your pregnancy. Listen, if a crappy engagement ring is your biggest problem, I think you're going to be just fine!

[Nyla]

The ring is 1/8 of a carat, and I can't get a new one because he bought it off of ebay... I don't have a problem with that though, but I do wish he would have looked around a little more and put more effort into it. I feel like he just said to himself I want to get married, so any ol ring will do. We are not having a wedding, and I do not plan getting a wedding dress, so I guess I just felt like my ring should be really special, thats all.

 

I understand how you feel. My ring set is gorgeous, partly because we couldn't afford a wedding and my husband felt bad about that.

 

You can't wear a wedding on your hand for the rest of your life.

 

In any case, I'm glad that you talked to your boyfriend and worked this out.

[ceres12]

I honestly dont see what is the big deal of the ring, my friend got hers that cost an arm and a leg and for what? Its just a ring, the real challenge is actually making it through the marriage part and not ending up in divorce otherwise the ring will be the last of your worries you might use that to pay the divorce in the long run not saying it will happen but it really does not matter how big small or whatever looking your ring is, it is truly the action that came with it that he picked you above anyone else in this world. I got mines at walmart and shines better and looks prettier than the one my friend bought haha everyone swears it cost me loads of money and it didn't! I've had it for over a year now and it is still shiny as ever and beautiful as the first day i got it! ohh please if my husband would of waisted more than a $1,000 on a darn ring i would kill him for it screw that. Who cares about the ring, my friend had a diamon fall and she almost had a heart attack lol. I guess am not picky i really do admire and appreciate the simple things even if it is a ring.

[Nyla]

I honestly dont see what is the big deal of the ring, my friend got hers that cost an arm and a leg and for what? Its just a ring, the real challenge is actually making it through the marriage part and not ending up in divorce otherwise the ring will be the last of your worries you might use that to pay the divorce in the long run not saying it will happen but it really does not matter how big small or whatever looking your ring is, it is truly the action that came with it that he picked you above anyone else in this world. I got mines at walmart and shines better and looks prettier than the one my friend bought haha everyone swears it cost me loads of money and it didn't! I've had it for over a year now and it is still shiny as ever and beautiful as the first day i got it! ohh please if my husband would of waisted more than a $1,000 on a darn ring i would kill him for it screw that. Who cares about the ring, my friend had a diamon fall and she almost had a heart attack lol. I guess am not picky i really do admire and appreciate the simple things even if it is a ring.

 

Many people feel that an engagement ring is a symbol. Like it or not, one of those symbols is income as well as love in some cases. Those who can afford larger engagement rings are viewed as more financially stable and more in love.

 

I understand what you are saying, however most women do feel that the ring matters. The majority of men are painfully aware that they are judged based on how large the diamond is and women can be very harsh when critiquing other women's engagement rings.

[pink_sugar]

I honestly dont see what is the big deal of the ring, my friend got hers that cost an arm and a leg and for what? Its just a ring, the real challenge is actually making it through the marriage part and not ending up in divorce otherwise the ring will be the last of your worries you might use that to pay the divorce in the long run not saying it will happen but it really does not matter how big small or whatever looking your ring is, it is truly the action that came with it that he picked you above anyone else in this world. I got mines at walmart and shines better and looks prettier than the one my friend bought haha everyone swears it cost me loads of money and it didn't! I've had it for over a year now and it is still shiny as ever and beautiful as the first day i got it! ohh please if my husband would of waisted more than a $1,000 on a darn ring i would kill him for it screw that. Who cares about the ring, my friend had a diamon fall and she almost had a heart attack lol. I guess am not picky i really do admire and appreciate the simple things even if it is a ring.

 

I agree. I have beautiful rings, however I don't wear them all the time as I am one of those neurotic people who gasp each time I bump the ring. Depending on how rings are set, some that have a ton of small diamonds can come loose easily. This happened to me within one year. I had 2 diamonds come loose.

[Nyla]

I agree. I have beautiful rings, however I don't wear them all the time as I am one of those neurotic people who gasp each time I bump the ring. Depending on how rings are set, some that have a ton of small diamonds can come loose easily. This happened to me within one year. I had 2 diamonds come loose.

 

I had a diamond come loose on my ring too. Good thing we bought insurance, which includes diamond replacement at no extra cost.

 

I wear my rings all the time because I love them and my husband likes it when I wear my rings. I would only wear the band, but he wants me to wear both because he "didn't buy them so that they can sit in a box." I think my husband secretly wants other men to see my ring....doesn't stop idiots from hitting on me though.

[ceres12]

Many people feel that an engagement ring is a symbol. Like it or not, one of those symbols is income as well as love in some cases. Those who can afford larger engagement rings are viewed as more financially stable and more in love.

 

I understand what you are saying, however most women do feel that the ring matters. The majority of men are painfully aware that they are judged based on how large the diamond is and women can be very harsh when critiquing other women's engagement rings.

 

In our case We are financially stable and can easily afford a large engagement ring but choose not to because we could care less what others think and to us it is a silly waste of money, last time i checked what should matter is what your husband or wife thinks. In my case, i like simple things. You are right everyone is entitled to what they want but i just dont see the big deal. I guarantee you when life gets real after wedding vows and a beautiful wedding dress or even a ring the last thought on your head would be the ring when fights come and all the challenges of a marriage shows its face. I dont know i just see it as there is more to just a ring i guess. But you want what you want. I know with my ring i laugh so hard because people swear it was expensiveeee lol And thats another thing i wouldnt want to freak out every time i bump in to something. A co worker lost her diamond from her ring at work and she cried like there was no tomorrow digging through all the trash and everything i really felt for her. That diamond cost more than a house and a brand new car and all for what? lol But hey as a woman we do like getting spoiled regardless anyways. Just for me anyway i dont mind everyone loves my rings and had one tell her husband she loved my set and thats the one she wanted not knowing i got it from walmart lol i find it hilarious.

[ceres12]

I agree. I have beautiful rings, however I don't wear them all the time as I am one of those neurotic people who gasp each time I bump the ring. Depending on how rings are set, some that have a ton of small diamonds can come loose easily. This happened to me within one year. I had 2 diamonds come loose.

 

I would be the same lol terrified to wear an expensive set and bump in to something gasping in fear of scratching or loosing a diamond. Insurance or not whats the point you still have to go back and forth replacing stones so yea i would be the same.