Engagement Ring Shopping

[carhill]

We ultimately found a true vintage, pre-conflict ring that is perfect for ME because of the time we spent looking and shopping.

 

Yeah, I ended up doing pretty much the same thing, buying a vintage gem in NYC and having a setting made for it by my exW's local jeweler. For my exW's wedding ring, I picked up a 20's platinum eternity ring. So in one sense, there was little surprise, which I made up for with the moment, having her ring presented on a ribbon around the neck of a Steif bear (she's a bear collector) and sitting on my lap while I played Santa at a Christmas party.

 

OP, my advice is to enjoy the process. This is something your BF wants to do for and with you so just go with the flow. You have your preferences; express them. You're a team and this step is a big one. It's fun. Enjoy

[RedRobin]

True- those diamonds go through the Kimberly process to be certified as "conflict free." However, as I mentioned above, that actually doesn't mean much of anything. That process does nothing to guarantee the safety and ethical treatment of the workers, nor does it say anything about safeguarding the environment.

 

I did briefly look at diamonds from Canada- as that was the only source that can really lay claim to a fair trade title, but the environmental damage it causes scared me off. Diamond mines in Canada have been an extreme detriment to caribou populations, completely wiping them out in areas near mines, and have greatly impacted the other species as a direct result.

 

As for the sweatshop comment- I admit, I do probably already support bad business. I am a college student, so I always tends to choose the cheapest available option simply so that my bank account always says positive. However, I try my best to avoid this, and when I have the power to influence change, you better believe I will choose that every time.

 

Also I really like moissanite- it feels more personal to me actually! It was 'discovered' in Arizona- which is also where my SO was born, so it feels really special. <3

 

I think it is great that you put so much thought into something that represents your love for each other.

 

As far as the diamond or not diamond goes... a lot of people don't realize that there are other stones that are a lot more rare than diamonds and have nearly the same clarity.

 

One of my favorite places to go gem hunting is a place called Wild Fish Gems. They only sell untreated gems. They seem to keep tabs on the socially conscious aspects of how they were acquired too. I learned a lot there! Like, nearly all garnets are untreated. Which is awesome... I'm currently wearing my great-grandmother's 3+ carat oval cut garnet.

 

Sounds like you found your stone though. One I hadn't heard of before! I'll have to check it out...

[ForeverHopeful1]

This may seem like a silly question... When did women start picking their engagement rings for themselves? Actually going out to see, try on and choose your own ring seems completely weird to me. Did I just miss the memo? Lol. I really am curious and really not trying to upset or offend a soul here. So if I have, I'm sorry. I just didn't know this was a thing. I could never imagine being a part of that experience. When we got engaged it wasn't a surprise by any means and I certainly told my husband what I wanted... (White gold and a princess cut diamond.) This is almost exactly what I asked for and if I didn't know any better, it is exactly what I asked for. Instead of white gold, he got a platinum band. I would have picked this ring myself to be honest... Its beautiful. Its timeless. I love it. I just can't see myself going and buying it with him, I guess???

 

When did going to buy your own engagement ring become a thing? Has it always been a thing? Forgive me for offending anyone. I really don't mean to. Just curious, is all.

[georgia girl]

We did a blue saphire (my birthstone), but I couldn't agree with you more. I said absolutely no diamonds. The truth is, they aren't value and if the hold de Beers has over the industry ever cracks, they'll be worth even less.

 

A girlfriend of mine just got remarried and wanted the diamond look, so she chose a white saphire. Another friend got a lab-made diamond.

 

Most of all, the diamond industry is just plain horrific. I don't judge anyone who has them but I didn't want it on my finger. The thought they children died to give me the ring that was supposed to be the very first real signal of our commitment and happiness just felt a little out of whack to me. Good for you!!!!

 

(And yes, spend little. Save for more important things: a house, family, a nice trip. It's just a piece of rock on your left hand.)

[CarrieT]

This may seem like a silly question... When did women start picking their engagement rings for themselves?

I don't think it is a silly question at all...

 

Honestly, you have to know the history of ring-giving (engagement vs. betrothal)...

 

Pre-History:

The caveman tied cords made of braided grass around his chosen mate’s wrists, ankles, and waist, to bring her spirit under his control.

Circa 2800 BC:

Egyptians are buried wearing rings made of a single silver or gold wire on the third finger of their left hands, believed to be connected directly to the heart by the

vena amoris.

2nd Century BC:

According to Pliny the Elder, the groom gives the bride first a gold ring to wear during the ceremony and at special events, then an iron ring to wear at home, signifying her binding legal agreement to his ownership of her.

1st Century BC:

Puzzle rings first appear in Asia, where sultans and sheiks use them to tag each of their wives.

1217:

The bishop of Salisbury puts an end to the popular practice of seducing girls into mock marriage with rings made of rushes. His solution? Declaring a marriage with a rush-ring legally binding.

1456:

The Gutenberg bible is published. There is no mention of betrothal or marriage rings in this or any other edition of the bible.

1477:

In one of the first recorded uses of a diamond engagement ring, Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposes to Mary of Burgundy with a ring that is set with thin, flat pieces of diamonds in the shape of an “

M

.”

1700s:

Silver “poesy rings” engraved with flowery sayings are in vogue in Europe. Across the Atlantic Ocean, the Puritans give their betrotheds useful thimbles instead of rings, which are derided as frippery. Eventually, however, many thimbles get their tops sliced off and are worn as rings anyway.

1800s:

The highly sentimental Victorians make jewelry from human hair, and use gemstones to spell out names or endearments, such as a D-E-A-

R

-E-S-T ring set with a sequence of diamond, emerald, amethyst, ruby, emerald, etc.

1867:

Diamonds are discovered in the Cape Colony (now a province in South Africa), the beginning of a huge increase in the diamond supply.

1880:

Cecil Rhodes, who arrived in South Africa in 1873, founds the DeBeers Mining Company with other investors. Within the decade, they will control 90 percent of the world’s diamond production.

1886:

Tiffany & Co. introduces the “Tiffany setting,” a six-prong ring designed to maximize a diamond’s brilliance by raising it up from the band.

1890s:

Affordable wedding rings and diamond engagement rings appear in mail-order catalogs, such as Sears & Roebuck.

1918:

Cartier creates the Trinity Ring—intertwined hoops in pink gold (love), white gold (friendship), and yellow gold (fidelity)—for Jean Cocteau, who gives one to his lover, poet Raymond Radiguet. It is still a traditional wedding ring in France.

Early 1940′s:

Engagement rings become the leading line of jewelry in most department stores.

1944:

A Catholic priest queries The American Ecclesiastical Review as to whether he’s permitted to marry a couple in a “double ring” ceremony, and, if

so

, how to go about it. (The Roman Ritual calls only for the blessing of the bride’s ring.) The Review OKs the practice.

1946:

Humphrey Bogart chooses to wear his first groom’s ring when he is married—for the fifth, and final, time—to Lauren Bacall.

1950:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

is published. In Truman Capote’s novel, Tiffany’s engraves the cracker-jack ring that winds up as Holly Golightly’s engagement ring.

1978:

Following her divorce from Richard Burton, Liz Taylor puts the 69-plus karat “Taylor-Burton” diamond up for sale to raise funds for a hospital in Botswana.

2000:

Amid growing concern over human rights violations associated with their trade, the diamond industry creates the World Diamond Council to develop and oversee a tracking system that will “prevent the exploitation of diamonds for illicit purposes such as war and inhumane acts.”

2001:

Brad Pitt sues Dalmani International, which made the wedding ring he gave Jennifer Aniston. Pitt says the ring was his exclusive design, but the company sold replicas and implied the couple endorsed them.

2002:

According to a Fairchild Bridal Group Study, more than a third of couples buying diamond engagement rings spend at least two months’ salary.

2003:

Wal-Mart introduces its “Keepsake” brand of diamonds and, according to its annual report, becomes “one of the top sellers of diamonds in the world.”

2005:

A week before Valentine’s Day, the one-carat round solitaire diamond ring set in 14K white gold ($1,988) is out of stock on Wal-Mart.com. The author of this story notices a day-glo billboard in her hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska, advertising an “ENGAGEMENT RING EXPLOSION,” and hopes no one was hurt.

Based on this - and my knowledge of the jewelry industry - I would hearken the answer to your question lies in that turn-of-the-century Tiffany design of the solitaire, 6-prong diamond which was somewhat the standard engagement ring for most of the last century.

 

It was somewhere around the women's movement of the early 1960s that the "convention" of marriage was losing its hold and jewelry designers were growing in number. Women were gaining power in the household and workplace and probably began to put forth their desire for different styles or asking to be included in the purchasing process.

 

It would be an interesting paper to research, but my educated guess is that women became more involved with helping choose their own engagement rings in the late 60s and early 70s.

[MissBee]

+100

 

Diamonds are a lot like cars...the value plummets once you walk out of the shop with it. That $1800 ring you will be lucky to sell for $500. Diamonds are only high in price due to demand, not actual worth. I have diamond rings I do not wear on an everyday basis because I am afraid of losing or damaging it. If you plan to wear your ring 24-7, get a ring with small diamonds that are deeply embedded in the ring or something you won't feel terrible about knocking around.

 

Maybe I'm daft....

 

But what does it matter if you can't sell back your engagement ring for the same price as it cost?

 

Why would that factor in? Even if I got a divorce, I don't think I'm gonna run to pawn my ring, so I don't think that would make any difference to me personally.

[2sure]

Maybe I'm daft....

 

But what does it matter if you can't sell back your engagement ring for the same price as it cost?

 

Why would that factor in? Even if I got a divorce, I don't think I'm gonna run to pawn my ring, so I don't think that would make any difference to me personally.

 

I actually did sell my jewelry after my divorces .

 

But I think She was referring to the value of diamonds themselves. They aren't valuable. Valuable stones have a high resale value. Diamonds do not. It's all marketing.

 

So, if someone were thinking of spending 10 or 20 grand on jewelry, and thinking its any kind of investment or asset, they shouldn't buy diamonds.

Designed fine jewelry holds value if it's substantial , even diamonds, but that's high high end.

 

I'd buy a sapphire, a whopper, and have it mounted like an old school princess cut. It will scream engagement.

[MissBee]

I actually did sell my jewelry after my divorces .

 

But I think She was referring to the value of diamonds themselves. They aren't valuable. Valuable stones have a high resale value. Diamonds do not. It's all marketing.

 

So, if someone were thinking of spending 10 or 20 grand on jewelry, and thinking its any kind of investment or asset, they shouldn't buy diamonds.

Designed fine jewelry holds value if it's substantial , even diamonds, but that's high high end.

 

I'd buy a sapphire, a whopper, and have it mounted like an old school princess cut. It will scream engagement.

 

Ohhh okay, that makes sense!

[CarrieT]

Designed fine jewelry holds value if it's substantial , even diamonds, but that's high high end.

 

And vintage can not only hold value, but increase... Look at the auctions at Sothebys and Bonhams - sometimes even designer jewelry from just a decade or two ago can increase in value.

p.s. I'm still gloating over my vintage ensemble...

[LovelyLife]

It's just eh? Better overall.

 

Mine is - because I was adamant I did not want a diamond for many reasons listed here (socio-political).

 

But . . . my husband's father gave us his mother's Bulgari ring. She just had a simple gold band when she married my husband's grandfather. As their wealth and family grew - he was able to go up to Rome and buy her a beautiful diamond.

 

So that's what I wear on my hand today!