pcplod Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I agree with gg and TJH. Someone is also enjoying getting these responses from a bunch of strangers on the net. My troll alarm is going off. I had some suspicions too before my first post, but looking at this subsequent stuff, my troll-meter is definitely twitching and I am wondering whether someone is getting off on this. Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 The behavior on both sides is extremely bad. As someone who has struggled with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts in the past - I hate to see people use it as a tool for manipulation. I also hate to see that you're stringing this girl along and pretending it's her fault that you're doing so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 OK guys I cannot change my number because I own a business and get many business-related phone calls to this number. And she would be able to reach me easily anyway by calling my company. I just don't understand how can she be so irrational, why would she think that harassing and stalking me will make me take her back? I'm a very reasonable and logical person, I'm just shocked by all of this to be honest and don't know how to deal with it. I never had to just ignore someone, if I want to break up, a girl is supposed to respect that. Many people behave irrationally. It could be mental illness, a personality disorder, poor coping skills, etc. It's not your job to figure out why she does what she does. I doubt that she thinks that harrassing you will make you want her back. She is just totally absorbed in that moment of emotional pain and does not consider consequences. In that moment her emotions overwhelm her and she acts out. Negative attention from you is still attention. From her perspective, it's better than nothing at all. It gives her validation to be a part of your life, so she is inserting herself in it, like it or not. You have to toughen up and be assertive with her. You are just dragging this out. Accept that she is going to be emotionally devasted, but know that how she deals with it is not your problem. You don't have to help her through this break up, and by responding and engaging with her, you give her hope. She is not emotionally healthy, and it is not right for you to use her for sex. My BPD sister is just like this. When she wants something it goes like this... Tactic # 1: Asks nicely for what she wants. When that doesn't work, she moves on to Tactic # 2: manipulation, usually with sex or lies. When that doesn't work, she tries Tactic # 3: Sympathy: begging, pleading, crying..."you ruined my life!". When that doesn't work, Tactic # 4: Anger screams "I hate you! You never loved me!" and tells everyone you know how abusive/mean/crazy you are. Then finally, Tactic #5: Pure craziness, complete with suicide threats, stalking, breaking in your house, false reports to police about abuse, etc. If you give her any feedback at all, it provides her with satisfation, as well as hope. You have to detach completely. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 No member is required, as a condition of their membership, to respond to any posting on LoveShack forums. Participation is completely voluntary and subject to our guidelines, which include a policy of civility and respect. Members shall be treated with civility and respect Calling fellow members 'idiots' and 'trolls' is not civil and respectful behavior on our forums and such behaviors will result in posting privileges being temporarily or permanently suspended. Now, we can see who posted what in this thread and members can take responsibility for their own behavior. Moving forward, address the topic or refrain from participating or moderation shall make that decision for you unilaterally. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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