TheFriend Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I am trying to find a common link to all of us on here and was wondering if everyone else would classify themselves as people pleasers as well? I am absolute guilty of it and have a feeling that type of personality is what gets all of us in trouble emotionally when dealing with breakups. I think it is especially apparent when dealing with the "guilt" and always feeling like we need to apologize for our actions that caused our exes to leave. Let me know what you think.
youaremysunshine Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Yes definitely and I think it repels men from me
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Yes, I think there may be something to this. If you look at some of my previous posts, I talk about the phenomenon that happens when we let our SO's know how much we love/care about them. When they know that we are here and not going anywhere. Almost like we are no longer a challenge. No longer worth 'chasing'. They simply lose interest. I am starting to think that maybe treating them so well is not a good thing. Remain aloof. Keep some mystery. Keep them guessing. But, honestly, that is kind of hard for me when I fall in love. I just want to express it often, and I don't think that is right… I dunno…
OwlSoul Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I expressed it in the topic I created a while ago: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/385457-breaking-up-q The Dumpee case: Logically, we should stop loving or even hating the person who hurt us so much. Logically, we should stop wanting someone who does not want us, since it is useless and hurting. Your brains tell you that the person does not worth your tears and your time, that the person is not ideal. But once we have invested so much into those relationships, dumpees’ gut feeling just cries and shouts that you want only and only this person. That he/she is the one; you won’t be able to love someone else ever and etc. More the dumper distances away, more you panic, show love trying to get the person back.
Dragi3169 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Most definitely . This break up was all her fault yet cause I deleted her from Facebook and expressed my feelings I end up feeling like the bad guy so I apoligized to her . And she has the nerve to tell me she's hurt lmfao!
CompleteFailure Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I don't go around trying to please everyone but since I found out about the breakup, there are days where I'm extremely emotional/clingy/needy/loyal dog like. Its a really unattractive trait for a man and I can't seem to turn off that signal in my brain. The constant reminder of loss and/or desire for that level of intimacy sends me spiraling out of control. Yes, I think there may be something to this. If you look at some of my previous posts, I talk about the phenomenon that happens when we let our SO's know how much we love/care about them. When they know that we are here and not going anywhere. Almost like we are no longer a challenge. No longer worth 'chasing'. They simply lose interest. I am starting to think that maybe treating them so well is not a good thing. Remain aloof. Keep some mystery. Keep them guessing. But, honestly, that is kind of hard for me when I fall in love. I just want to express it often, and I don't think that is right… I dunno… I hear ya, its really human psychology. When they know they got you by the balls and can get away with anything is when they'll start trying to get away with everything.
destroyed4sho Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Reading posts for a few months now, I have noticed 3 main groups of us on here: 1. Codependent types / Low Self esteem that put up with abuse only to be dumped 2. Young ones that were dumped bc of GIGS 3. People that were unexpectedly betrayed (cheated on/left for someone else) and in shock 4. Others that were dumped for reasons other than the 3 above seem to get over it quicker Just my observation...I could be wrong. I also noticed that people that do not know initially why their ex dumped them end up learning later that their ex dumped them for someone else.
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