Should i dump my girlfreind? comfused!!!

[Mack05]

i just ended it with her!!!

 

have had enough of the insults, the disrespect, the misery, her control over me.

 

how? over text? email? phone?

[kaitracid]

how? over text? email? phone?

 

I SENT HER AN EMAIL.... and that is what i said

 

 

"i do not want to see you again. It is over!

 

I am not putting up with anymore of your insults & your nasty behaviour towards me.

 

so you will drink whenever you want, with whom ever you want.. well your free to do so now... enjoy!

 

i choose to leave this relationship... take care

[Mack05]

I SENT HER AN EMAIL.... and that is what i said

 

 

"i do not want to see you again. It is over!

 

I am not putting up with anymore of your insults & your nasty behaviour towards me.

 

so you will drink whenever you want, with whom ever you want.. well your free to do so now... enjoy!

 

i choose to leave this relationship... take care

 

wow..Good Mack says -> I would have rather you broke up face to face. There is something more final about doing it that way and I believe all break ups should happen face to face. If you can use compassion great, but sometimes I understand this is hard. Especially when someone has hurt us over and over.

 

Naughty Mack says...****ing awesome! Sock it to the B!tch

[kaitracid]

i feel ok for now.... but i know the pain will come later.

 

i know now, that she wants total control over me & for me to be her doormat & to just accept everything she does... she is dictating to me, the rules of the relationship & wants me to just accept & agree & put up with everything she wants.

 

i looked at her internet history before i left yesterday & she has been looking on a website "sexy clubbing outfits"

[Mack05]

I would be amazed if she leaves it at that. Might be an idea to temporarily disable your email account and block her number on your phone. Block Facebook as well etc etc. She could get nasty. If she is a Borderline (I am wild guessing with that) she will get nasty, VERY nasty.

 

Breakups are hard. From toxic relationships even more so. Use this site for the coming weeks/months. Please do not break NC. No matter how much she antagonises you.

[kaitracid]

wow..Good Mack says -> I would have rather you broke up face to face. There is something more final about doing it that way and I believe all break ups should happen face to face. If you can use compassion great, but sometimes I understand this is hard. Especially when someone has hurt us over and over.

 

Naughty Mack says...****ing awesome! Sock it to the B!tch

 

 

 

you know what... screw her.. i deserve so much better than to be treated like a doormat & have my feelings hurt & crushed, again & again

 

i have ended it & changed my number, so she cannot even text or call me...

[kaitracid]

I would be amazed if she leaves it at that. Might be an idea to temporarily disable your email account and block her number on your phone. Block Facebook as well etc etc. She could get nasty. If she is a Borderline (I am wild guessing with that) she will get nasty, VERY nasty.

 

Breakups are hard. From toxic relationships even more so. Use this site for the coming weeks/months. Please do not break NC. No matter how much she antagonises you.

 

 

the last time we broke up.... she got very very NASTY with me indeed.

 

insults, even claimed she was seeing another man, within a week of us breaking up...

 

she sent me abusive emails for about a week

[kaitracid]

I would be amazed if she leaves it at that. Might be an idea to temporarily disable your email account and block her number on your phone. Block Facebook as well etc etc. She could get nasty. If she is a Borderline (I am wild guessing with that) she will get nasty, VERY nasty.

 

Breakups are hard. From toxic relationships even more so. Use this site for the coming weeks/months. Please do not break NC. No matter how much she antagonises you.

 

 

 

i will block her in every way possible, so she cannot contact me again

[Mack05]

the last time we broke up.... she got very very NASTY with me indeed.

 

insults, even claimed she was seeing another man, within a week of us breaking up...

 

she sent me abusive emails for about a week

 

Well no shocker there. I know the type. Anyway this time you can not go back. I'd disable my email account right now. You can re enable it in a few days when this all calms down. If you can't block her number have Plan B. If she sends you a text reply instantly (have it in your drafts). "Your text cannot be delivered to this number. This number has been blocked by the recipient"

 

You need to get your soldiers lined up. I know you are curious as to what she might say. I know you wish she would see sense. She won't. I know this woman already.

 

You have made the decision. We are all proud of you. Now stick to it and to the right things in moving on.

[kaitracid]

Well no shocker there. I know the type. Anyway this time you can not go back. I'd disable my email account right now. You can re enable it in a few days when this all calms down. If you can't block her number have Plan B. If she sends you a text reply instantly (have it in your drafts). "Your text cannot be delivered to this number. This number has been blocked by the recipient"

 

You need to get your soldiers lined up. I know you are curious as to what she might say. I know you wish she would see sense. She won't. I know this woman already.

 

You have made the decision. We are all proud of you. Now stick to it and to the right things in moving on.

 

 

one of the reasons i find it hard to break up from someone like her is...

 

i don't have many friends to talk to, or have any family.

 

so dealing with a break up very hard for me, as i am doing it alone. i am glad this forum is here, because it's the only support i have

[Mack05]

one of the reasons i find it hard to break up from someone like her is...

 

i don't have many friends to talk to, or have any family.

 

so dealing with a break up very hard for me, as i am doing it alone. i am glad this forum is here, because it's the only support i have

 

Dude we got your back..Even if we disagree, you don't like me etc etc. There are other posters willing to help.

 

I am projecting when it comes to this thread I freely admit. I dislike people like your ex (how good must that be to say!). I am a forgiving person and I try to see through other people's eyes, but I also feel it's very important for people to stop enabling this kind of behaviour. My ex behaved exactly like this. I know your ex has probably had a tough life, but it doesn't excuse this kind of mistreatment. It doesn't excuse never taking accountability or responsibility for your actions.

 

With my ex there was a small part of me that wanted to expose her in the hope of teaching her a lesson, as I still have all her cruel vicious e-mails. People think she is this lovely person, but if only they knew the real truth. I know I shouldn't and therefore I didn't. Teaching her a lesson won't change the world or make me feel any better. It's also important we don't stoop to their level as well mate. Try in time to forgive her. That is what I eventually did with my ex. I forgave her. That didn't make me weak. It made me strong.

 

You did awesome there mate. You took your power back. Now heal properly and learn to grow.

[kaitracid]

i got a text back from her.

 

"ok bye"

 

 

lol might as well have expected that... anyhow i have dumped her & i have to look at it in a positive way... i can live my life now & not have to put up with her emotionally destroying me

[geegirl]

Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest. This is going to be difficult for you and you'll feel much pain as you grieve and heal. I know you don't have much of a support system but being alone and feeling this pain is temporary. Being with her and having your sense of self diminished would have been an indefinite cycle of pain for you.

 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will find your way back to the Kait that you once knew. But you have to go through to get past the pain.

 

I'm proud to see that you took back your power. Keep posting here, Kait. It's going to be a rough journey but the rewards are well worth it!

[Mack05]

i got a text back from her.

 

"ok bye"

 

lol might as well have expected that... anyhow i have dumped her & i have to look at it in a positive way... i can live my life now & not have to put up with her emotionally destroying me

 

This is only getting started in so many ways..You need to start blocking. If you changed numbers like you said above you wouldn't have gotten the text...

 

There will be times you will want to reach out. Blocking her will help you more then you know.

 

If you are being honest with yourself, part of you wanted her to come back saying "I'm sorry" etc etc. While you feel ok now, this will get worse. I would also be amazed if she just lets it go that quick and painlessly. If she makes contact again it will be abusive. If you make contact again it will get abusive.

 

You need to start blocking now. Trust me.

Edited April 10, 2013 by Mack05

[adelia]

Aren't you the guy a few weeks ago that went NC and she sent you a letter that you didn't open and sent back? Maybe I got you confused with someone else.

[kaitracid]

i sent her that text mesage ending it with her....

 

but she replied back so quickly, i did not get time to change the sim card in my phone..

 

but i am sure, this is not the last i have heard from her... she will come back with something else later on, i know how she ticks

 

 

but i have changed my number now, so there is NO CHANCE she can contact me by phone again, or email me... both are blocked

[kaitracid]

This is only getting started in so many ways..You need to start blocking. If you changed numbers like you said above you wouldn't have gotten the text...

 

There will be times you will want to reach out. Blocking her will help you more then you know.

 

If you are being honest with yourself, part of you wanted her to come back saying "I'm sorry" etc etc. While you feel ok now, this will get worse. I would also be amazed if she just lets it go that quick and painlessly. If she makes contact again it will be abusive. If you make contact again it will get abusive.

 

You need to start blocking now. Trust me.

 

 

i know what type of person she is.... she will not show any emotion... she will send a simple "ok bye"

 

but i know, she will send me worse later... because she has done in the past.

 

either way, she is blocked & i have to stay strong & move on... i know this is going to be very hard & will kill me

[Mack05]

Aren't you the guy a few weeks ago that went NC and she sent you a letter that you didn't open and sent back? Maybe I got you confused with someone else.

 

Different thread Ad..

[kaitracid]

i just want everybody to re assure me, that i have done the right thing!!

 

 

there is a small part of me, that thinks... oh you have let her go forever!!

 

 

please read my thread & tell me, if you believe i did the right thing

[Mack05]

i just want everybody to re assure me, that i have done the right thing!!

 

there is a small part of me, that thinks... oh you have let her go forever!!

 

please read my thread & tell me, if you believe i did the right thing

 

You are doing the right thing. Can you imagine having a kid with this girl!?. One of your own. 4 others, 3 different dads and you. Do you really believe you can be happy with a girl like this? She will never change. My ex's friend once said about her "Some people are broken and you can't fix them". It is SO true. That helped me let go.

 

What you are going to do is romanticise her, remembering her good side. Everytime you do that, read one of her abusive mails.

Edited April 10, 2013 by Mack05

[kaitracid]

if i had a kid with her, i am pretty certain she would dump me at some point & leave me paying child support for the next 16 or 18 years

[Mack05]

if i had a kid with her, i am pretty certain she would dump me at some point & leave me paying child support for the next 16 or 18 years

 

So why on earth are you doubting yourself? Her kids will follow her example. They will gang up on you, abuse you. You will be left with nothing. They will suck all the emotional, physical, FINANCIAL and mental good right out of you.

 

Eventually they damage she does to you is irreversible. You will eventually leave, but many years will have been lost. You will end up bitter and angry wondering what the hell happened with your life. You will only get to see your kid, god knows how many times a month. Knowing all the while your kid is being raised by a fc#king nutjob.

 

You can see what is ahead. Today you just swerved around the train crash. Now we have to keep moving steadily along the track and not reverse back into the crash.

Edited April 10, 2013 by Mack05

[kaitracid]

So why on earth are you doubting yourself? Her kids will follow her example. They will gang up on you, abuse you. You will be left with nothing. They will suck all the emotional, physical, and mental good right out of you.

 

Eventually they damage she does to you is irreversible. You will eventually leave, but many years will have been lost. You will end up bitter and angry wondering what the hell happened with your life. You will only get to see your kid, god knows how many times a month. Knowing all the while this kid is being raised by a fc#king nutjob.

 

You can see what is ahead. Today you just swerved around the train crash. Now we have to keep moving steadily along the track and not reverse back into the crash.

 

 

 

it was only last week, she told me.... if her kids stopped liking me, then she would end the relationship with me...

 

i felt so hurt by this.... how can i guarentee her kids would like me... what if i told one of them off for something one day, and the kid took a dislike to me

 

i am not there father... what if her kids saw me & her arguing, and her kids took a dislike to me for that reason

 

she would make it a regular point, to remind me, that her kids would always come before me.... anybody with any commonsense already knows, a mother would choose her children over a man... that goes without saying

 

why keep reminding me of that

 

 

she would even insult me, in front of her kids sometimes... she only last week called me a nob head in front of her son

 

it would only be a matter of time, when the kids would start dis respecting me too.... they would learn that from there mother

[Mack05]

The big question here Kaitracid is why on earth would you ever consider going back to this women. She is nasty. Your self esteem must be shot to ever even consider staying with someone like this. How are you going to rebuild your self esteem? You do if you don't you will attract her likes again in the future?

[geegirl]

i just want everybody to re assure me, that i have done the right thing!!

 

 

there is a small part of me, that thinks... oh you have let her go forever!!

 

 

please read my thread & tell me, if you believe i did the right thing

 

Why don't you write down why you chose to end it with her. Write every detail, how you felt when she called you names, why it was wrong, what would be ideal treatment if you were with a loving partner. Rather than ask us, maybe this will help you feel empowered and confident and certain as to why YOU did what you had to do. You have to start believing in yourself. We can tell you it was the right thing but it won't sink in. Start writing and reading back how you felt and what you experienced. That's your reality.