Anyone else date a bi-polar person?

[Chris516]

I was engaged to a woman. that told me from the very beginning she was Bi-Polar. She was on medication. But I caught her, skipping her medication on more than one occasion. I also caught her trying to stockpile her prescription-only medication. So I went to Walgreens and chewed them out, for not putting a stop to it. By refusing to refill her meds so soon.

 

She also lied to her therapists and doctors about me.

 

On the flipside, when it came to a serious health issue, she did nor fail me. My (ex)wife did fail me.

[Silly24]

Well now the phone calls are becoming harassing. 12 in one day...really?

[GMG90]

Well now the phone calls are becoming harassing. 12 in one day...really?

 

What's being said?

 

I can't say I've ever had harrassing calls. Well, actually I barely get any calls these days to be honest. He used to get pissed when I didn't answer, would call a few times and then send a mean text. Nothing too wild though.

[Silly24]

What's being said?

 

I can't say I've ever had harrassing calls. Well, actually I barely get any calls these days to be honest. He used to get pissed when I didn't answer, would call a few times and then send a mean text. Nothing too wild though.

 

He left three messages stating, "I'm calling and you won't speak with me"...well duh...move on.

 

Is this a part of the bi-polar "thing"?

[GMG90]

He left three messages stating, "I'm calling and you won't speak with me"...well duh...move on.

 

Is this a part of the bi-polar "thing"?

 

May well be...

 

I went silent from my boyfriend for 6 days and ironically, he didn't even bother to call me or anything either. When he did and I answered, he says "You didn't say anything for 6 days so figured something was up."

 

 

... Well, you could have said something too... I took a break because you told me that I talk too much and then I get asked why I didn't talk at all.

[Silly24]

May well be...

 

I went silent from my boyfriend for 6 days and ironically, he didn't even bother to call me or anything either. When he did and I answered, he says "You didn't say anything for 6 days so figured something was up."

 

 

... Well, you could have said something too... I took a break because you told me that I talk too much and then I get asked why I didn't talk at all.

 

A classic mind ****....

[GMG90]

Sorry more vent time... I can't quite let go yet.

 

There's this 16 year old guy that my boyfriend added on FB back in January. Says that the kid added him randomly... out of the blue. Then my bf asks if we can have a threesome with this guy. Are you nuts? He's a minor. It's odd to play with high school considering we're both 22 now. I question the kid and tells me that my boyfriend added him... Well then I was told a lie.

 

So, I tell my boyfriend "no" and ask him to just get rid of the guy. He doesn't... Comes up with tons of excuses. Says that the boy don't talk to him so why should he. Then he says that it's a long process to delete somebody from Facebook (like what have you been smoking). Are you kidding me? It takes 3 clicks. Then there's my favorite excuse in "Oh I'm so busy and I have to work 14 hour days". Oh yeah? That's why you upload videos and update your status every hour? What kind of busy is that then.

 

I don't talk to any gay people... I learned early on in this relationship that I'm not allowed to even talk to one or he'll harrass them. 2 years ago he harrassed a friend by getting their number off Facebook and completely derailing that friendship. And yet I'm supposed to take his crap. We're talking about an underage twink who he's told me verbatim "I want you to see this kid and tell me if he's cute because I want to have a threesome with you and him". UGH.

Edited April 26, 2013 by GMG90

[GMG90]

After a pushing him for 4 months, he finally get rid of the guy...

 

Basically, I had to say "Look, give me your password so I can delete him myself. If you think it takes to long to unfriend someone, I'll be more than happy to do it myself... Unless... you're hiding something."

 

And then I go to that guy's page and no mutual friends to be found.

 

VICTORY!

[Silly24]

From what I've read, this is normal behavior for a bi-polar person. My ex was always trying to arrange sex with other people and I was never interested. I never believed it was about sex, but more about manipulation and coaxing me into doing something I was not comfortable with.

 

He still calls almost every day. I don't answer. He sent an email from a new account (I have him blocked) stating he can't leave me alone because he loves me.

 

Never mind that on the old dating website forums where we met, many of my online buddies have told me that he trashes me. A few have told me that they have challenged him on the forums and he goes absolutely out of his mind with angery language. I need to hear this, it reminds me of the bad times and helps me forget all good times.

[Feelin Frisky]

Perhaps my ex was bi-polar too, but she had BPD which delivers the same kind of agony and seductive ecstasy the OP stated with his experience. She has irrational insecurities and no impulse control to think before she'd react with a verbal assault that would come out of nowhere even when it's 5 seconds to Happy New year. She ruined everything and unfortunately I made a disastrous choice in my effort to get away from her that brought me to bankruptcy and a life of under-achievement since. Be careful folks--especially you people in your 30's looking to get permanently situated in marriage. If it seems wrong early, don't under-estimate it, move on. I so wish I would have. But she sure could bang.

[GMG90]

From what I've read, this is normal behavior for a bi-polar person. My ex was always trying to arrange sex with other people and I was never interested. I never believed it was about sex, but more about manipulation and coaxing me into doing something I was not comfortable with.

 

He still calls almost every day. I don't answer. He sent an email from a new account (I have him blocked) stating he can't leave me alone because he loves me.

 

Never mind that on the old dating website forums where we met, many of my online buddies have told me that he trashes me. A few have told me that they have challenged him on the forums and he goes absolutely out of his mind with angery language. I need to hear this, it reminds me of the bad times and helps me forget all good times.

 

Yeah, I heard I was getting trashed by one of his exes too.. I don't know if its because the ex hates me or because its true, but I do believe its true.

[GMG90]

Well that didn't last very long.

 

Some new guy is randomly liking all of his statuses. He says he doesn't know who this guy is or who added who... but the guy just appeared out of nowhere suddenly. RIGHT. He hasn't suggested a threesome yet but I can't help but think there's a reason behind this one.

 

I know his group of friends. Same people that have been making comments for years on his Facebook wall. Some are middle school friends, some family, some circus people. I met most of them so I already know a bit on who they are and how they act. And considering what happened tonight, I'm getting very curious. I think anybody would in this spot.

[almond]

I'm sorry, but I must pipe up here and say that there is a LOT of bipolar bashing going on in this thread. I'm sure it is unintentional, but some of the behaviour that some posters are labeling as "normal bipolar behaviour" is absolutely anything but!

 

Bipolar is just one facet of a person - attributing every poor example of their behaviour to the illness is ridiculous. "Harassing phone calls" - yup, that nasty old bipolar! Consistently trying to organise sex with others - BIPOLAR!!! Doing so as a means to control and manipulate - BIPOLAR BEHAVIOUR TOO! Please.

 

Well, I'm sorry that so many have had bad experiences with people that have been diagnosed as bipolar. However, it is evident throughout many of the posts in this thread that there is a severe lack of understanding of the actual condition, and many people are failing to distinguish between something that is caused by bipolar, and something that is just stock standard poor behaviour.

 

There is a LOT more to bipolar than just "mood swings," and bipolar in reality is a lot different to the stigma and b.s that so many of us buy in to. In fact, someone who is very moody is a lot more likely to be depressed than bipolar. There is so much ignorance in relation to this condition...it's sad.

 

Some people are disrespectful arseholes - with or without bipolar. Some of these selfish arseholes may very well be diagnosed with bipolar also. However, I implore all of you to further educate yourselves in relation to this condition before tainting all people that are struggling with this. I know, you're not intentionally painting all bipolars with the same brush, but attributing bad behaviour as "typical of bipolar" when that is not factually correct is doing exactly that.

Edited April 28, 2013 by almond

[Downtown]

I must pipe up here and say that there is a LOT of bipolar bashing going on in this thread.

I agree, Almond. You likely will be pleased to know that several of us have "piped up" to defend them. The first was BetheButterfly, who wrote in post #6 that " bipolar is not synonymous with abuse." I agreed with her in post #21, where I noted that -- because a large share of bipolar sufferers also have BPD -- the lay public often mistakenly attributes BPD symptoms to bipolar disorder.

[almond]

Hi Downtown.

 

I did read those posts, and yes, I was very pleased to see them Definitely a good point re: BPD.

 

After reading the last page though, I felt the need to post once again in an attempt to put the brakes on the current conversation a little.

 

It's just sad to read really. People with mental illness already suffer enough, and the stigma is rife I just feel that it's necessary to speak up when misinformation regarding such things is being tossed around in front of you.

Edited April 28, 2013 by almond

[Foreverandalwaysxo]

Yeah my ex was bipolar... Very abusive, and blamed everything on me all the time... But when things were going good, they were going realllllllllly good ...

[M30USA]

Yeah my ex was bipolar... Very abusive, and blamed everything on me all the time... But when things were going good, they were going realllllllllly good ...

 

I can relate to that. Eventually the rollercoaster ride makes you numb inside.

[Seductive]

I never dated one, but I lived with one. She was nice at first, until she started to yell at me out of nowhere and make rude comments. She was also really messy where we ended up having maggots in our home. I moved out, due to her put-downs and irritability. I made the mistake of opening up about my personal stuff to her, and she used it against me towards the end.

 

I'm willing to accept that some bipolar people don't fit the above example.

[Seductive]

I wanted to add that everyone at work thought this woman was so great. We were both co-workers. Yes, she was bubbly and fun to other people's faces. That's why I moved in with her thinking that she was a sweet person. I'm probably one of the few that saw the other side.

 

She's a therapist in her own private practice now. I pray to God that she doesn't say mean things to her clients.

[Nyla]

From what I've read, this is normal behavior for a bi-polar person. My ex was always trying to arrange sex with other people and I was never interested. I never believed it was about sex, but more about manipulation and coaxing me into doing something I was not comfortable with.

 

He still calls almost every day. I don't answer. He sent an email from a new account (I have him blocked) stating he can't leave me alone because he loves me.

 

Never mind that on the old dating website forums where we met, many of my online buddies have told me that he trashes me. A few have told me that they have challenged him on the forums and he goes absolutely out of his mind with angery language. I need to hear this, it reminds me of the bad times and helps me forget all good times.

 

The bolded sentence is not true. I don't know what resources you are reading, but the information is incorrect and clearly written by those who stigmatize bipolar sufferers.

 

Though I have been curious about threesomes, I have NEVER gone so far as to arrange group sex for me and my husband. That would be disgusting and disrespectful. Having a mental illness does not make me a clueless pervert.

 

Please be careful with the negative generalizations. I find them offensive.

[Downtown]

Silly, I agree with Nyla that "threesomes" is not a normal or usual practice by those suffering from bipolar disorder. With bipolar-1, there are manic episodes that typically results in loss of impulse control and risky behaviors, e.g., excessive gambling, spending, or drug use. This risky behavior can manifest in numerous different ways in different people. Of course, it may include sexual promiscuity and a small portion of those who are promiscuious may engage in threesomes. This is a far cry, however, from saying that it is normal. My foster son, for example, has had bipolar-1 for over 30 years and has rarely been sexually promiscuous and never (to my knowledge) engaged in a threesome.

 

Moreover, a large share of bipolar sufferers have bipolar-2, in which the mania is so minor that it is not apparent to anyone -- and thus does not result in any risky behavior, much less in threesomes. Instead of suffering from mania, these bipolar-2 folks usually suffer only from the depression. As I explained earlier in your thread, much of what you describe are classic BPD traits, not bipolar. The threesomes, however, are not "normal" for BPDers or bipolar sufferers.

[GMG90]

I agree, by the way...

 

The promiscuous sex is just a character trait... anybody can be that way... I think the overall general thing I've seen that's bipolar related is the excessive sleep patterns and the depression, which usually results in a period of isolation. But other that, I'm certain that things, like getting my pimples popped with a kitchen spoon, is something else. I would assume there's OCD in that mix from what it appears. Really won't know for sure where some of these behaviors stem because they just seem normal to him.

Edited June 3, 2013 by GMG90

[GMG90]

So my boyfriend decided to "break up" last night because I sent him a text saying "Don't be partying or messing around there with someone else"... that's something I say when I haven't heard from him all day.

 

Interesting, when he questions my fidelity (about a thousand more times than I question his), I just shrug it off and reassure him that all is safe. I wasn't expecting him to go into berserko mode. He gave me 3 minutes to find out what I did wrong... and I apologized... but that's not good enough. He messaged me a couple of times today and continued to tell me to fix the problem I started.

 

Now how am I supposed to fix this?... I already explained to him that I was ancy because he said nothing the entire day. I assume father time is the likely cure for this... but how can one's deep hardened love just snap over nothing at all? Especially when I'm here with a sinus and yeast infection and I feel bad. Nope, my health don't matter. All that matters is that I started this....

[almond]

Moreover, a large share of bipolar sufferers have bipolar-2, in which the mania is so minor that it is not apparent to anyone -- and thus does not result in any risky behavior, much less in threesomes. Instead of suffering from mania, these bipolar-2 folks usually suffer only from the depression.

 

BPII can definitely result in some very destructive behaviour, and hypomania is certainly noticeable quite often. It is also not the case that most BPII only suffer from the depression aspect of this disease.

[Emilia]

The threesomes, however, are not "normal" for BPDers or bipolar sufferers.

It cracks me up every time that people attribute negative personality or character traits to mental illness. How about taking responsibility for the fact that they picked a duff one?