Why do our worlds stand still

[Sososad]

Guys just looking for some insight

I'm now 2 months broken up ..

Doing a little better just not crying anymore i suppose

But sometimes I feel I'm no better then the day they left.

Yes I've failed at no contact been baited out with ridiculous things I should have

Ignored , played no contact initially to get her back ..

Laugh you may and call me a fool but many on here are only fooling themselves.

Healing wise I don't know what gets me kinda the hardest right now is

I appear to be just in a state of numbness no other word .

I've had her tell me she's seeing other guys ,

She's now seeing another guy early days .

In a argument she told me there is a list of people she slept with behind back ?

And honest to god I've no emotion just sadder than usual no anger .. No temper wanting to explode just "oh yeah ok"

Like c'mon it's a break up she's only a girl move my life on..

But it's staying stationary .. I tried chatting with girls there and surprisingly 2 agreed to come out .. But once they agreed my interest wasnt there I left it .

I don't know really the point of this thread it's not for people to go reading my old ones and call me a fool I get that..

Just the emotion or lack of I'm feeling right now ...

The last thing which I'd urge people to not fall into is analysing

Or trying to interpret everything there ex does its so emotionally draining and we never get the right answers .. Just concentrate on yourselfs.

Does anyone have any thoughts are gone through the same sort of stuff ?

Thanks for reading just another vent from me..

Stay strong guys !! Happy Tuesday !

[MushyPeas]

Well you're definitely better than the day she left and to be honest, i think numbness is good in some cases, it really does protect you.

 

I got to a point where after the BU, I kept seeing things that would hurt me (my fault, I went looking for them) but instead of hurting I just felt numb, like you describe and honestly, it's so much better than upset/angry, just kind of roll my eyes and think "oh okay, you're just making yourself look bad here".

 

Stationary is also good, it wont stay that way forever, you will get to a point where you realise the only way is forward and things will improve, how far I've come in just a little over a month is finally starting to hit me and it's such a relief, you'll get there too just take it at your own pace, limit those situations where you could possibly be hurt, keep your head up !

[Damsel in Distress]

Just to let you know you are not alone. I also feel numb most days. It's like all the emotions are just drained out. I do have some days where I'm more sad, or I feel strong, or I feel disbelief that he was able to do this, but the general feeling is just numb. There's another thread on here talking about hooking up for sex with somebody new - when I read that thread I could not relate, because I do feel so numb.

 

I have to believe this is just part of the recovery process, and feeling numb has to be better than feeling despair.

 

Hang in there. You are not alone.

(I'm about 6 weeks out)

[mcdo]

Yep, I've been here. You described the very situation I was stuck in for around 2 to 3 months. And I felt like I was losing my mind.

 

But now? It's behind me. I'm pretty much over it. Believe me, this won't last forever. I started a thread yesterday explaining where I am now & how I got here. I hope it may be of some use to you:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/383261-light-end-tunnel

[Sososad]

Phew well that's a major relief I really was doubting my own sanity that

I wasn't shouting or roaring or flying off the handle .

I'm a very determined person and when I want something i won't stop untill I get it .. But I haven't fought for her ..

I've let her go.. And this gets me too if I wanted her as bad as I think I feel

Why am I not trying ?!?

It's very very confusing ..

Thanks for replies so far !

[mcdo]

Phew well that's a major relief I really was doubting my own sanity that

I wasn't shouting or roaring or flying off the handle .

I'm a very determined person and when I want something i won't stop untill I get it .. But I haven't fought for her ..

I've let her go.. And this gets me too if I wanted her as bad as I think I feel

Why am I not trying ?!?

It's very very confusing ..

Thanks for replies so far !

I tried everything and it was no use. I stopped just short of pulling up outside her house at night with a band on the back of a truck playing love songs.

 

From what I can tell you're doing it right. I just prolonged the agony by trying again and again.

[StraylightRun24]

Phew well that's a major relief I really was doubting my own sanity that

I wasn't shouting or roaring or flying off the handle .

I'm a very determined person and when I want something i won't stop untill I get it .. But I haven't fought for her ..

I've let her go.. And this gets me too if I wanted her as bad as I think I feel

Why am I not trying ?!?

It's very very confusing ..

Thanks for replies so far !

 

I'm right there with you Sososad. I would definitely say this is one of the main things keeping me hung up. I think to myself constantly, "I tell myself I loved her but when she decided to end things I just let her walk out the door without even telling her..."

 

Ugh!

[drpepper1886]

I'm right there with you Sososad. I would definitely say this is one of the main things keeping me hung up. I think to myself constantly, "I tell myself I loved her but when she decided to end things I just let her walk out the door without even telling her..."

 

Ugh!

 

did the same thing, but I just remind myself that the time to fight and the time I was fighting was during the relationship and it didn't work then. So no point in continuing it after the fact.

[StraylightRun24]

did the same thing, but I just remind myself that the time to fight and the time I was fighting was during the relationship and it didn't work then. So no point in continuing it after the fact.

 

You are right about that drpepper1886. I guess you could call me a late bloomer but at 28 years old she was the first girl I gave my all to and actually took the risk of being hurt so if that's not "fighting" for her I don't know what else is?

[siankat]

The last thing which I'd urge people to not fall into is analysing

Or trying to interpret everything there ex does its so emotionally draining and we never get the right answers .. Just concentrate on yourselfs.

 

 

Good advice! Not so easy to take especially when all ur boundaries have been broken i get it. One day mate...when uv kept up with keeping away from her and her stories, you will get bored, restless, we human beings are ever evolving, and have brains and bodies that need stimulation, and you will look for something that sparks your interest that has nothing to do with her. The tables will be turned becos the memories u have of her (that made you feel human and alive; will leave u feeling numb and emotionless), and the new things u have in ur life,;job, friends, hobby, whatever, will be what makes u feel alive. And great cos they will have nothing to do with her! But it takes time apart....real time..physical, direct, then indirect, then from your thoughts, til eventually she is nothing but a memory with no feelings attached.

 

Good luck

[Sososad]

I wonder did I not fight for her out of

Fear of possibly been rejected again or was it just cause I didn't want it

That bad enough.

I've made It my business to not snoop on

Facebook .. She lives for Facebook and I can be sure everything is there

To see .. But haven't dreamed of it .. Been tempted but won't put myself through the pain.

I found a issue I had was whatever she said or done be it nasty or hurtful I was nearly making excuses saying ahh she's only trying to Hurt me cause shes hurt..

I really wish I could wake up and go back to a pre-relationship me..

Feels like I'm walking around numb but carrying the weight of the world !

[drpepper1886]

You are right about that drpepper1886. I guess you could call me a late bloomer but at 28 years old she was the first girl I gave my all to and actually took the risk of being hurt so if that's not "fighting" for her I don't know what else is?

 

I'm in the same boat, I'll be 29 this month and this girl was the first girl I'd ever actually opened up to and allowed myself to fall in love with. I've had many girlfriends, but this was the first I saw a future with. So I know how you feel. I'm nearing 7 months post breakup and have a long journey ahead of me still. But, rest assured; it is getting easier.

[siankat]

You WILL go back to a pre relationship you...with added wisdom that comes from hurting

[Sososad]

Funny how we all go through the same stages ..

And yet our exes are having the times of there lives !

Funny that!

[StraylightRun24]

I wonder did I not fight for her out of

Fear of possibly been rejected again or was it just cause I didn't want it

That bad enough.

I've made It my business to not snoop on

Facebook .. She lives for Facebook and I can be sure everything is there

To see .. But haven't dreamed of it .. Been tempted but won't put myself through the pain.

I found a issue I had was whatever she said or done be it nasty or hurtful I was nearly making excuses saying ahh she's only trying to Hurt me cause shes hurt..

I really wish I could wake up and go back to a pre-relationship me..

Feels like I'm walking around numb but carrying the weight of the world !

 

I honestly don't think it's because you didn't want "it" bad enough. I mean you are posting on a breakup forum and I think that speaks volumes of how much you cared for her. drpepper1886 is right when he said that you fought for her during your relationship. If you gave her your all that's really all someone can ask for when being in a relationship. Why put yourself through the torture of being rejected twice in a short period of time by the same person?

[siankat]

are exes are having the time of their lives? and you are hurting but trying to get through it the best and most respectful way possible to ultimately better yourself. Because life throws all kinds of things at us, obstacles and opportunities, sometimes flowers sometimes s***, and that goes for all of us....including all these 'exes living perfect lives now we are no longer in them' hehehe c'mon

[Sososad]

Well mine is having a blast haha

[siankat]

Nothing lasts mate, urs will come. Life is swings and roundabouts

[Sososad]

I'm hoping ... She claims she's happy yet in her own words she's been drinking obscene amounts of alcohol