maylis Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 We haven't spoke since our breakup 2 March. So it has just been a couple days over a whole month since it happened. The first 2 weeks were fine but these last 2 have been really hard and I feel really sad and I really miss him. Is anyone else finding it is harder the longer it is going on?
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sweetheart - brace yourself. You haven't hit the wall at too-many-miles-per-hour yet. I'm here to warn you - it will get worse, not better, before you begin to heal. This is nothing. There will be times when you want to rip walls down with your bare nails and drive knives into your heart, that may hurt less. I'm the bearer of bad tidings - but if you keep posting here, you'll have the support network you will need to help you through it. No Contact is absolutely vital. It's really, really important you stick to it and with it..... 2
Calcmag Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sweetheart - brace yourself. You haven't hit the wall at too-many-miles-per-hour yet. I'm here to warn you - it will get worse, not better, before you begin to heal. This is nothing. There will be times when you want to rip walls down with your bare nails and drive knives into your heart, that may hurt less. I'm the bearer of bad tidings - but if you keep posting here, you'll have the support network you will need to help you through it. No Contact is absolutely vital. It's really, really important you stick to it and with it..... This is true. Painful but horribly true. Although I'm the dumper this time I've been the dumpee previously with the same ex. I always found the first couple of weeks relatively easy. Almost as if adrenaline was carrying me through and giving me steely determination. Then after that time the reality sets in. And NC gets tough. But if you break NC you just feel worse in the long run. Keep to No Contact.
Author maylis Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 I know it is the right thing to do but it's hard. He asked a mutual friend how I am doing last weekend.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sweetheart - brace yourself. You haven't hit the wall at too-many-miles-per-hour yet. I'm here to warn you - it will get worse, not better, before you begin to heal. This is nothing. There will be times when you want to rip walls down with your bare nails and drive knives into your heart, that may hurt less. I'm the bearer of bad tidings - but if you keep posting here, you'll have the support network you will need to help you through it. No Contact is absolutely vital. It's really, really important you stick to it and with it..... Well aren't you a ray of sunshine?! She's right though OP. It will probably get worse before it gets better. But it will eventually get better, and that's the good news. Contact would just prolong the pain. Believe me..I learned this the really, really hard way..
misswillow Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I'm right there with ya. Breakup of a month, but only 2 weeks of NC. And it is taking every ounce of strength I have left in me to maintain NC. I want to talk to him so badly, even though I know the last time I did it set me so, so far back. So I have to keep remembering that, and read all the posts and support here. I am just waiting for that day when I gets just a tiny bit easier.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Yes, I am finding it very hard. My ex broke it off with me Feb. 12th. we've had contact about once or twice a week up until a couple of weeks ago. So there's been n/c for 2 weeks and it is killing me and only getting harder :-( I love her with all my heart and not more than 5 minutes go by in a day that i don't think about her. The pain of a broken heart is something i never want to feel again. I had waited a long long time finding someone like her and it came and gone and I feel broken and feel like I won't ever heal. The scar from this will last forever. I feel you BrokenMan. I waited quite a long time for this girl to come into my life and I couldn't believe she finally did. And it was magical. For 2.5 years, it was so great. So great. The last 6 months, not so much. I just don't know what happened? Someone made a good point. And that is, watch out when things seem fine. That's when they aren't But what can one do? Love is a messy business
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I'm right there with ya. Breakup of a month, but only 2 weeks of NC. And it is taking every ounce of strength I have left in me to maintain NC. I want to talk to him so badly, even though I know the last time I did it set me so, so far back. So I have to keep remembering that, and read all the posts and support here. I am just waiting for that day when I gets just a tiny bit easier. We are exactly at the same point. I got dumped earlier (late January), but been since St. Patty's (2 weeks) for NC. Seems to be getting harder. I won't cave though. Just want to be able to function a little better. Had to take the day off of work today as last night and this morning was unbearable... This is why: [COLOR=#990000]A new low[/COLOR]
thefooloftheyear Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sweetheart - brace yourself. You haven't hit the wall at too-many-miles-per-hour yet. I'm here to warn you - it will get worse, not better, before you begin to heal. This is nothing. There will be times when you want to rip walls down with your bare nails and drive knives into your heart, that may hurt less. I'm the bearer of bad tidings - but if you keep posting here, you'll have the support network you will need to help you through it. No Contact is absolutely vital. It's really, really important you stick to it and with it..... Very true... It might be the hardest thing you ever will do...But its necessary or you WILL be tortured as long as you try to think you can handle being a "friend" or doing LC. It doesnt work....If you want to see how bad not following the rules of NC can be, there is a member here, I wont mention any names, but he forged on ignored the warniings and is now suffeing the most painful of scenarios...I am sure T.M. knows who I am referring to... Life is a bittch...wear a cup... TFOY 3
Jord11 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I'm in day 41 it gets worse, I thought nc would make me forget her but I just miss her more, wishing she might miss me too and text me but I'm not getting my hopes up, but nc gets worse, I can't take this heartache anymore
crimsoncurrent Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Like all the previous comments, I'm in agreement that NC will become worse for you. For me, I'm nearly 3 months into NC and it's still very difficult emotionally. However, unlike the start of NC, the thought of making any contact with my ex is not an option. I've at least cemented that in my mind. My therapist said, with overcoming any addiction (and yes, I think heartache is an emotional addition), it is not a linear progression. Remember this: there will be good days, there will be bad days.
SpicyMayo Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 i know how it feels. i have been going no contact since march 2, and am happy that ive been strong this whole time and haven't had the urge to contact him. but now im at a point where its like: great. im single again. need to start over. no sex, no texts, no anything. just empty.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Yeah, it's just the normal everyday stuff I miss. The texting, spending time together, watching movies and all of that. Would say the sex, but haven't had any of that in a while. That was the first thing to go, and will definitely be a red flag for me in the future. No sex = big problems and possibly time to call it quits!! I feel ya. I really feel empty. Our situation was kind of extra rough because we moved in together right away and have spent all of our time together for 3 years. I mean all of it... Together!! The last 6 months she started spending more time (weekends, holidays) with family and friends. Another red flag that things were not heading in a good direction... Nothing wrong with alone time, in fact I begged her to have some so we wouldn't put so much pressure on each other, but I could tell it was her distancing from me...
Author maylis Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 today is too hard, and i am PMSing and that helps nothing. someone please please remind me that i cant contact him!!!
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