spirius Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 My ex of three weeks were exchanging casual texts on Monday night. Midway, she just stopped responding. Maybe because I mentioned "how are you getting to the event on Friday?" Have not heard a peep since and did not chase it up. I've been devastated for weeks now, but this morning I woke up and for the first time felt angry that she isn't replying to me. How can she be saying "I want to be friends" and "we will hang out when the dust settles" and insisting I borrow her very expensive tent for the weekend/offering to take the kids one day so I can take part (this offer was a while ago but I believe still stands)...then not bother contacting me? Is she giving me space? Is she just not bothered or thinking about me? Argh.
Mack05 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Forget about being friends.. "Why can't we be friends. After a breakup the work each person has to do is lose the couple identity. Each person needs to establish again his or hers identity and no longer see themselves as part of the couple they once were. Therefore being friends in the aftermath of a breakup is a complete NO NO! The atmosphere is too emtionally charged. You both need time to get yourselves together. If you leave each other alone initially you may come back later as saner, more grounded people with a better chance of being friends. But right now you need to concentrate on yourself and your healing.." Dude there is no point in posting the same threads over and over. What are you hoping that will happen? Someone pops up with a miracle answer? You got more then enough good advice on this thread-> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/381391-ok-i-m-going-round-there Friends won't work, it will just set you back. It's time to move forward now and stick to NC.. Edited March 28, 2013 by Mack05
Author spirius Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) I don't consider it to be the same thread. Lots of people are posting with updates and how they are feeling. For me this forum is helping me not to go to her when I want to and part of that is through understanding why I feel a certain way. This one in particular is about how I feel I have woken up feeling different - that I'm angry about an aspect of it rather than just being a little bitch who blames himself and is pining for her. How could I want back someone who doesn't even appear to be affected? I'm blaming myself a little less each day, seeing how it really was. Also the fear of seeing with someone else is less fraught and panicked. It is still there, but is more manageable. Now I'm getting annoyed about her lack of feeling and I'm pretty sure that predates the breakup. Basically, getting past wanting her back. Hopefully next stage will be that the lack of contact won't anger me and I'll just get on with moving on. I've had this really strong sense that anything that happens with us has CONSEQUENCE. I'm only beginning to feel that it doesn't anymore. And that's a relief. It isn't really advice that I'm after. Just conversation and other people's experience. I did get enough good advice, I did not go round and when I HAD to meet her, I was civil and left in minutes. Also have stopped contact. Edited March 28, 2013 by spirius addition
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