KS11 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Really feels like NC is getting harder not easier. I keep having these moments of anger/regret about things she said or things I wish I had said. Which surely at 22 days I shouldnt be having?! Then theres just that dull pain of missing someone, and as the days tick by its just confirmation that its really happening. I keep expecting a message from her, like she did before, saying she's made a mistake etc. I keep thinking about how we were when we first met, on the phone till stupid hours and the thought that shes most probably doing that with someone else is killing me. I just cant understand how you can just walk away from something like what we had. It seems like such a waste. 3
geegirl Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 You have 3 weeks of NC under your belt. It gets harder as time goes by because you are slowly realizing the finality of the break-up. As you don't hear from her, that realization that it's the end creeps up on you and you start to feel worse. It's normal. Don't project your feelings. Just because you can't understand how someone can walk away, it does not mean that the other has the same views and values as you have for the relationship. 3
Addison312 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I'm almost to 2 months and have just been recently starting to give up all hope. It is sad and difficult. I try so hard to push the situation out of my mind. Sometimes it works, but when I'm alone, it sometimes does not.
Minneloa Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting. Read through the threads here and you will see that you are not alone. I thought this particular thread might be useful to you: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/377220-why-week-2-4-no-contact-meant-hard
New2Love4Now Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I know exactly how you feel and it really sucks. I remember when I was with my ex early on we would lose track of time texting or talking for hours into the night. She'd always tell me how happy she got whenever she'd see that I texted. Now, she wouldn't respond to any message I send and would probably even cringe seeing my name. Thinking about how happy you used to make the other person and how they no longer want anything to do with you... such a terrible feeling.
Thunderchild Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) Really feels like NC is getting harder not easier. I keep having these moments of anger/regret about things she said or things I wish I had said. Which surely at 22 days I shouldnt be having?! Then theres just that dull pain of missing someone, and as the days tick by its just confirmation that its really happening. I keep expecting a message from her, like she did before, saying she's made a mistake etc. I keep thinking about how we were when we first met, on the phone till stupid hours and the thought that shes most probably doing that with someone else is killing me. I just cant understand how you can just walk away from something like what we had. It seems like such a waste. KS - keep the Faith, big man!! I'm on Day 23 of NC and in a much stronger position than in Day 1. My ex of 5 years cheated on me and fell pregnant to the other guy. I've come to the hard conclusion that I don't want her back. In fact, I find that I'm missing her dogs more than I'm missing her. The 'pups' are now 4 years old (and still not house trained). And, I used to dog-sit the little black and white bitch when she was out of town for work. I was actually dog sitting for her when she got knocked up - what a flamin' muppet I was!! So, she's 44 years old, heavily in debt and planning to do the single mummy bit - good luck with that one I say!! Well, having accepted that I don't want her back, it's now a case of shrugging off the attachment or addiction. I'm on a couple of dating sites - just chatting away; nothing serious, building up my confidence, getting to know some of them. Life is moving on. It'll do the same for you once you realise that she's not coming back. Then again, she turned down a great guy like you to (probably) go with losers and idiots - so who the h*ll would want her back?? It's her loss - and someone out there will appreciate you for who you are. Live long & prosper!! TC Edited March 11, 2013 by Thunderchild 2
Author KS11 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Don't project your feelings. Just because you can't understand how someone can walk away, it does not mean that the other has the same views and values as you have for the relationship. I know that makes a lot of sense, but i guess therein lies one of the hardest things to come to terms with, that the other person didn't or doesn't value what we had as much. I just get upset because there was two occasions where I tried to move on and both times she came back saying she wanted me etc..and now its like she's just traded me in for something better. The thing I can't seem escape is this feeling that whoever I may meet next, i'd just be 'settling'. I know everyone always says that kind of thing about their ex straight after a BU, but I always felt like i'd met someone who was more beautiful (in all respects) than i could have hoped for. And thats not putting her on a pedestal, but just appreciating what I had. Thunderchild: Im glad to hear you're getting stronger! I think thats kinda the difference though, I still want her back...stupidly! New2: Totally with you mate, its such a horrible feeling. Are you in NC?
missjones4812 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I wish I didn't have to have contact with my ex, but I have too because we have a child. He too gave up something so special, you go over and over it in your head. Asking yourself what you did, what you could have done differently. The answer I have found is probably nothing. Some people just don't see what they have. Its been a month since I caught my ex cheating. The next day he moved in with this girl whom he barely knows. Recipe for disaster. I am teying to prepare myself for him to one day realize his HUGE mistake and come crawling back. What we need to realizeis, if we weren't worth it to them, why should they be worth it to us??
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