calgary Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 my life feels completely off the rails. It wasn't just about my ex.. it was the lifestyle too, the friends she had that no longer talk to me, the things we'd do on a weekend together.. the place she lived, I loved it all, the plans the family she had, the stress she'd take away from my day with a hug. I can't stand us not being together.. she doesn't want a relationship right now. I hate it, I miss her like crazy but she doesn't want to be with me.. she keeps making sure she's in my life good or bad though.. from flirting with my friend, to accusing me of things, to talking about harming herself.. she's made sure i'm around in one way or another. I hate this dreaded feeling that she'll find somebody else sometime soon or hook up with somebody else.. but that's life and it's going to happen, I just wish she'd want what we had back as much as I do. I keep dreaming about her. i'm really sad that it's over. ive tried no contact, I've tried low contact.. nothing makes me feel better. I'm miserable. i'm just going to keep posting my feelings here.
Author calgary Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Here, read this: Read. Learn. Move on. thanks tara, that was rather similar to mine, how he told her straight and everything. i'm still extremely sad today. I need a way of coping with the sadness and the worry.. I know she's no good for me.. everybody on here and my friends know she's no good for me.. that should be reason enough to be over her.. but I still just feel lonely and miss what I had. I need a way to get over missing something/someone/ a lifestyle.. when the lifestyle and what I have at the moment just doesn't compare to what I had at all. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 miss what I had. I need a way to get over missing something/someone/ a lifestyle.. when the lifestyle and what I have at the moment just doesn't compare to what I had at all. Stop comparing! It's not worse (though of course, you will argue that!) it's just different! Instead of approaching it in a 'woe is me' mind-set, why not approach it as an opportunity which gives you the liberty to do new things, go to new places, meet new people and indulge in new experiences?? Turn a - into a + !
Author calgary Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Stop comparing! It's not worse (though of course, you will argue that!) it's just different! Instead of approaching it in a 'woe is me' mind-set, why not approach it as an opportunity which gives you the liberty to do new things, go to new places, meet new people and indulge in new experiences?? Turn a - into a + ! with my job, I have to work from home a lot, I feel pretty isolated.. nobody really gets in touch much lately. I don't really talk to people through my day or see people my own age much at all. I don't really have a friend group I like, or hang out with on a regular basis anymore. I just spend most my time alone, rarely get any texts, emails etc. I guess i'm just flat out lonely and miss my ex and her life. I find it really awkward to make friends when you start something new alone.. like if I go to get lessons in something and everybody already knows each other then I feel like an outsider.. it's so much easier if you have a friend who can introduce you to everyone. feel like i'm just learning new things for the sake of it, because i'm trying to keep occupied rather than actually enjoying it. ugh my head. i'm trying to be positive but I just see the negative in everything before I start it. acting positive at a time like this just seems so false and put on and fake. like i'm pretending to be somebody i'm not. i'm not coping very well. it's not really just about my ex, I think it's just about me as an independent person.. I seem to seek approval all of the time.. I do things hoping for a pat on the back from particular people.. like I said before everybody seems to do this, but you look down on the people the look upto you, look upto the people that look down on you, hurt the people that care about you and care about the people that hurt you. why am I so upset about a girl that has acted so horribly to me ? why is today / this week one of the worst since the break up ? I just feel really sad. i'm trying so hard to go no contact, stay in, tell her to go away when she comes over.. concentrate on work, get a new hobby. walk my dog/ get fresh air. accept that she's not getting in touch or interested.. and yet I still feel like I do after all of this time. am I not normal ? would most people be able to move on by now ?
The Tallest One Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 calgary, friend, don't beat yourself up! Stop worrying about how long it's been and whether you should feel the way you do. There is no set time-line for getting over someone. It will take as long as it takes so be patient and be your own best friend. Do things to make yourself feel better and special. Treat yourself to things that make you happy. I know what you mean about negative thinking, it's hard in this state to think possitively because our brain is overwelmed with sadness! I also spend most of my time alone which isn't healthy, so please try and get out as much as you can. They say that being as busy as possible is one thing that helps best to get over someone. It's not always easy to come up with things to do but even goggleing for ideas might help. Keep posting, let us know how your doing and try as hard as it is to stay as positive as possible. There is light at the end of this tunnel!
daynight Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Similar situation to where I am right now.when I first read couple of lines I was like wow!!!haha Well am just glad I am not alone and there are people like you who I can relate to. About keeping busy, I have done the going out with friends of friends (since I am like you I have very few friends and most are busy with work and families) I have done outdoor activities on my own which I am proud of but looks at me 2months and 10days and sitting here reading all this posts.just hoping we will get through this soon ..also I want a guy perspective do you not find it attractive when the girl always comes off as really strong? I havent said a word to my ex about how much he has hurt me .I just acted(replied to his txt) like am cool with everything that happened.maybe I shouldnt come across this strong when I'm hurting this bad...sorry just had to write it, didn't mean to hijack your thread:)
Author calgary Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Similar situation to where I am right now.when I first read couple of lines I was like wow!!!haha Well am just glad I am not alone and there are people like you who I can relate to. About keeping busy, I have done the going out with friends of friends (since I am like you I have very few friends and most are busy with work and families) I have done outdoor activities on my own which I am proud of but looks at me 2months and 10days and sitting here reading all this posts.just hoping we will get through this soon ..also I want a guy perspective do you not find it attractive when the girl always comes off as really strong? I havent said a word to my ex about how much he has hurt me .I just acted(replied to his txt) like am cool with everything that happened.maybe I shouldnt come across this strong when I'm hurting this bad...sorry just had to write it, didn't mean to hijack your thread:) id rather have truth than strength.. I preffered when my ex cried on my shoulder saying she missed and loved me... rather than when she's saying hi to my best friend and giving me a look like she's trying to make me jealous. i'd rather she got in touch if she wanted to fix things.. she knows my intentions, I told her I couldn't be just friends.. its all or nothing. my life really does feel pointless in comparison to how it used to feel. I feel like i'm always pressing restart and trying again, it's like everything I've built up ( not just with my ex) but my goals and ambitions etc have all changed dramatically over the last year. I feel like she'll have no problem finding a new guy, whereas i'll struggle to find a new relationship, because I don't want to just settle for anything I find in a club.
Author calgary Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 calgary, friend, don't beat yourself up! Stop worrying about how long it's been and whether you should feel the way you do. There is no set time-line for getting over someone. It will take as long as it takes so be patient and be your own best friend. Do things to make yourself feel better and special. Treat yourself to things that make you happy. I know what you mean about negative thinking, it's hard in this state to think possitively because our brain is overwelmed with sadness! I also spend most of my time alone which isn't healthy, so please try and get out as much as you can. They say that being as busy as possible is one thing that helps best to get over someone. It's not always easy to come up with things to do but even goggleing for ideas might help. Keep posting, let us know how your doing and try as hard as it is to stay as positive as possible. There is light at the end of this tunnel! thanks i'm trying.
jdp123 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Calgray and FooledTwice, I am in the same boat as well and she is my first love! Though it just been over 5 weeks for me and the last we spoke was 10 days ago. I guess it may be worth getting in touch, skype or something, just to speak and be in touch what say ?
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