Author essiexo Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 Do you know if he has any phobia things or tends to stay home alone a lot or some condition that might explain why he seems to want you to come stay with him but does not want to travel to see you first? Do you think he still wants you to come? It is a wild thought but then spending his evenings on Skype seems like he might be kind of a homebody, at least. Like I said, wild thought, who knows. I mean, there are people who are are very uncomfortable leaving their homes for long or flying (if a plane is involved), or even hanging out with other people in real life too much. *shrug* That would make sense, but he doesn't. He is very outgoing and sociable. He goes out with friends/relatives. Very confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I'm sorry, Essiexo, that sucks. It would be nice if he would simply give you the respect of being straight with you so you don't have to go through all this guesswork. Link to post Share on other sites
Author essiexo Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 I'm sorry, Essiexo, that sucks. It would be nice if he would simply give you the respect of being straight with you so you don't have to go through all this guesswork. Yeah. Thanks for your help. He always pins things on me saying I'm not the one who tried and I am making us fail. So I just wanted to do what I could. But it seems as if it is on him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sammerz01 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I'm in a relationship very similar to this and my boyfriend and I would both do anything to see eachother! You should not put up with this, you need to demand answers, don't let him cop out. What he is doing isn't fair and if he really cares about you then he'll tell you the truth, because there must be more to it. Goodluck, I really hope it goes well :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author essiexo Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 He called me and I acted like I wasn't mad to see where the conversation would go. He asked what I was doing so I threw in that I was at a get together and I wish he was here. His response? "You should come here". Lol. I'm going to end things. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Yes, you need to get rid of this guy. He clearly doesn't want to see you that badly or he would've done so already. My guess is that he loves having his ego stroked by flirting/chatting with you and seeing how far you'll go for him. But when push comes to shove, he's just not that into it. Do yourself a huge favour and forget him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 From someone who is in a relationship that was long distance and is now not, i kinda understand thinking through money issues etc when relocating, or the cost of visits, especially when it's across countries. Everyone advised me to have a "visit" before a move, but this wasn't financially possible as we were literally on opposite ends of the planet. That being said... if he is not willing to come to you, for a visit, especially if you offered to fund it yourself, then walk away from this. You cannot know if this is the guy for you if you have never been romantically involved in real life, and only known each other as friends. You need a trial period.. Moving for someone is really hard. It's been hard for my guy and me as he is very dependent on me at the moment... he knew no one except me when he arrived. There are so many massive compromises you will both have to make with a move to be together. If he isn't willing to meet you half way with this request or understand your reserve, then it will always be a battle. Can i suggest you both meeting somewhere neutral? Like in the middle or something? If that's not even an option for him, then the writing is on the wall as far as i can see. Link to post Share on other sites
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