lamaga Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I wrote down my story in another thread. Nobody has responded to it yet though. If you want to read it, it's here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/377580-little-story-breakup-what-happened-after My ex-boyfriend and me were really happy together. He told me I made him happy. I don't understand what it is he needs to do so he can be ready for us, and will he ever be ready, and how long does it take? Because this uncertainty, this waiting, is really horrendous. I am 26, he is 24. We were on different continents (LDR) for two months (lived together for 6 months prior). I was gonna move to a city closeby now to start studying. It would have been a 'new chapter' in our relationship. He broke up when I was still overseas via phone. Two days before my return. Two days after the break up I flew in and I stayed with him for a night and we talked about everything, he was finally honest with me, telling me all his feelings and emotions, cried, didn't hold back, and he seemed very happy too that he finally was able to be himself with me, without getting **** from me, with me being understanding. When we said goodbye the next morning, he told me I was right with everything, that I am wise and he is an idiot, too extreme, complicated and dramatic. We laughed about it... I don't know, it seemed like not all hope was lost, like we both realized we love each other and that we will be together in a possible future. And.. when we said goodbye at the train station, we stood in the train door and he said "you know i love you, right?" and i said "I do. I love you too" and we had watery eyes, but shiny eyes too, because it was a happy, romantic moment. it gave me the feeling that we will find together again. the train doors closed and he put his hand on the window. whispered I love you again and I did too. it was very romantic. it was the last thing we saw and heard from each other. I am all confused now. as to why he gave us such a positive goodbye. We had NC now for 6 days total. Although I posted a photo on instagram 4 days ago, from one of our favorite movies and i wrote under it a quote from my ex, something sweet he once wrote to me a year ago. about how he will always catch me if i fall, always love and kiss me, but very poetic of course. anyway, he NEVER likes anything I post on instagram, and he LIKED this one. I was very confused. I saw it as a breadcrumb but I also don't know why he would do that and then dont get in touch at all. it would be cruel, wouldnt it? When I was at his house, he told me, when I get home to my parents, to mail him my bike key, so he could pick up my bike that was still at the train station and put it safe in his house. I did this the first day I got home, and he should have gotten the key yesterday. I wrote on an index card "for you to get the bike from the train station. thank you my dear, a." so, i figured this wasn't too much and .. yeah, nothing from him about that either, not even a "i got your bike. its been a week. how are you?" hes moving to india in 2 months. he's gonna be gone for six months at least. that was one of the reasons why he broke up with me... he said that night though that he definitely wants to see me before he leaves. but with this whole NC thing now that he basically initiated (or maybe it was mutual initiation, i dont know, i mean, i didnt contact him either), how are we gonna know about when either of us is going to be somewhere? i am planning a trip to rome now too and.. how will i see him before he leaves? the uncertainty... knowing that the chances are high i wont see him for another 9 months or so, it drives me insane. whenever we are physically together, it is so clear, everything... conflict starts when we aren't together... i dont feel like these last 24 hours together were a goodbye, i feel like they were a new beginning... but maybe i am all wrong. I get he needs time, I told him I will give him all the time he needs. I was being so awesome, strong, independent, understanding... when we talked that day last week.. But... now I am doubting again... is he thinking of me? Is he at all maybe changing his mind about us? He made all these comments last week about how I was right with everything (I told him, his decision is extreme, there is a way for us to be together, he doesnt need to leave for so long and is just running away from his problems, blablabla).. Well.. does anybody have a hint? I always thought it was important that he is a Gemini, I am Pisces. We are both driven by similar things (our careers, aspirations) but, I feel like he is this black and white thinker and I am more of a grey thinker, if you know what I mean. It definitely felt like I was the stronger one here. Hence me wondering... will he get in touch ever? What keeps him from doing so? Is he at peace now that he knows I will basically wait and he has my love? Was I TOO understanding? Should I have punched him in the face and told him he was a complete idiot for what he was doing? Instead I told him I understand his fears and that I will give him the time he needs... There are no ill-emotions. Is that bad or good ? Uhrg, sorry for writing so much, I just need some input... Anyone?
Absewarrior Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 lamaga: My only theory is that perhaps he just can't deal with the long distance stuff anymore since he is moving to India and so he is just trying to go NC so it won't be so painful in the future. Of course, not contacting you at all seems suspect...has he ever went this long without contacting you before? AW
Author lamaga Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 No, he never did. Also, when I wouldn't contact you, he usually would get worried after a day or two. This is unusual and I wonder how he is keeping up. I am dying here..
Recommended Posts