crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I broke up with my 19 yr old bf. I'm 23 by the way. We've been together for a year and he recently lost his virginity to me. I'm so in love with him but he's immature and I know I can't change him and I shouldn't expect him to act like something he's not. Me being in the relationship is just me waiting for something to change that never will. Anyway, I broke up with him and I explained everything to him. At first he ignored me as if I didn't even say we're breaking up but then he flipped out and he's like I don't want to lose you. I lose my virginity to you and now you're breaking up with me. You stupid b****. dirty whore (he always calls me these names). I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm frustrated, I'm tired of the apologies and me explaining things to him and hoping he'll change for the better. Do you think I'm making the right move?
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I broke up with my 19 yr old bf. I'm 23 by the way. We've been together for a year and he recently lost his virginity to me. I'm so in love with him but he's immature and I know I can't change him and I shouldn't expect him to act like something he's not. Me being in the relationship is just me waiting for something to change that never will. Anyway, I broke up with him and I explained everything to him. At first he ignored me as if I didn't even say we're breaking up but then he flipped out and he's like I don't want to lose you. I lose my virginity to you and now you're breaking up with me. You stupid b****. dirty whore (he always calls me these names). I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm frustrated, I'm tired of the apologies and me explaining things to him and hoping he'll change for the better. Do you think I'm making the right move? Did you know he was a virgin prior and see the possible issues of a relationship prior to sleeping with him? If so that may have been selfish. But either way what's done is done. You have to look out for you. You can't expect someone to change. He will cling to you because he trusted you and have you something important. I was hurt in the same way. However if you can't be with him you can't be with him Be prepared for a stage 5 clinger.
sserrano49 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I broke up with my 19 yr old bf. I'm 23 by the way. We've been together for a year and he recently lost his virginity to me. I'm so in love with him but he's immature and I know I can't change him and I shouldn't expect him to act like something he's not. Me being in the relationship is just me waiting for something to change that never will. Anyway, I broke up with him and I explained everything to him. At first he ignored me as if I didn't even say we're breaking up but then he flipped out and he's like I don't want to lose you. I lose my virginity to you and now you're breaking up with me. You stupid b****. dirty whore (he always calls me these names). I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm frustrated, I'm tired of the apologies and me explaining things to him and hoping he'll change for the better. Do you think I'm making the right move? walk away i was 22 and started dating my then 18 yo gf. I knew from the beginning she wanted to go to college and break loose but i loved her so i stayed. Fast forward 4 years she just dumped me because shes not happy. She wants to be free and do what she wants. I feel like an idiot now putting the time and effort and making sacrifices. So related to your situation i though she would mature and want to settle down eventually but it never happend. If your looking for him to change in the future your already making a mistake because your not happy right now. It will hurt but just be straight up with him and dont sugar coat it by saying maybe in the future or its not you its me.
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Did you know he was a virgin prior and see the possible issues of a relationship prior to sleeping with him? If so that may have been selfish. But either way what's done is done. You have to look out for you. You can't expect someone to change. He will cling to you because he trusted you and have you something important. I was hurt in the same way. However if you can't be with him you can't be with him Be prepared for a stage 5 clinger. I was well aware of his immaturity and our problems when we had sex. I was in the moment and I wasn't thinking I guess that was selfish. It's just the min after it happened I couldn't stop thinking about how much it just got real. Now he's going to make me feel obligated to be with him even if he treats me like crap because he "lost it to me."
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I was well aware of his immaturity and our problems when we had sex. I was in the moment and I wasn't thinking I guess that was selfish. It's just the min after it happened I couldn't stop thinking about how much it just got real. Now he's going to make me feel obligated to be with him even if he treats me like crap because he "lost it to me." Well what he has to understand is he had a hand in it too. It isn't like you robbed him of it. While things got very real and the fact you are doing this right after having sex does raise questions to him and freaks him out. Just understand his heart. Maybe he is immature but if he is a good dude then maybe you should respect what he gave you and try again. Understand that is special to someone. So the fact he did give it to you and took it maybe you should at least try again. But only if you agree. If you disagree or you try and it doesn't work then you have to actually cut ties. Understand wavering will hurt him worse. Do not ever contact him. He will want you to and you any want to but you just can't if you both want to move on. This is a tricky situation. If you give him a shot do it honestly though. Not half hearted. But at the end of the day this has to be right for both of you.
ja123 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 stupid b****. dirty whore (he always calls me these names). Why would he always call you that? ... and, yeah, I think you made the right move. You can't change anyone, and he's only 19. He has a lot of growing up to do first.
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Well what he has to understand is he had a hand in it too. It isn't like you robbed him of it. While things got very real and the fact you are doing this right after having sex does raise questions to him and freaks him out. Just understand his heart. Maybe he is immature but if he is a good dude then maybe you should respect what he gave you and try again. Understand that is special to someone. So the fact he did give it to you and took it maybe you should at least try again. But only if you agree. If you disagree or you try and it doesn't work then you have to actually cut ties. Understand wavering will hurt him worse. Do not ever contact him. He will want you to and you any want to but you just can't if you both want to move on. This is a tricky situation. If you give him a shot do it honestly though. Not half hearted. But at the end of the day this has to be right for both of you. I really want to give him another chance. I just feel like I'm being stupid because I ALWAYS give him chances at the same things and he messes up every time and disappoints me. 1. He can be a real jerk, he makes me feel bad about myself. He says things like "you don't even have a car" I'm a med student and right now I can't afford it. I spend everything on my classes. Then he calls me a whore and a dirty b**** just because he's had one person which is me and I have a sexual history with my 4 bfs. I've even told him I don't like it, yet still he doesn't seem to respect that enough. 2. He needed some money 2 weeks ago about 200 dollars. I really didn't have the extra spending money but I decided that I would sacrifice and give him 250 dollars because he was in a bad place at the time. Then we were having sex and he accidentally came inside of me. He seemed like he didn't even care about it, like he was ok with doing that. So I told him he needed to get me the plan B. I didn't have enough because I gave him my money. He promised and he said he didn't have his wallet so he was going to go home and come back and get it for me. He never came back! He just left. Which shows he's not even mature to be having sex if he can't take responsibility. He apologized and I took him back. 3. I don't need this extra stress. I'm looking for different things. He says he's so in love with me but I picture the man who loves me as acting in different ways, not unrealistic ways but just at least being a standup guy.
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Why would he always call you that? ... and, yeah, I think you made the right move. You can't change anyone, and he's only 19. He has a lot of growing up to do first. because he's had one person which is me and I have a sexual history with my 4 bfs.
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I really want to give him another chance. I just feel like I'm being stupid because I ALWAYS give him chances at the same things and he messes up every time and disappoints me. 1. He can be a real jerk, he makes me feel bad about myself. He says things like "you don't even have a car" I'm a med student and right now I can't afford it. I spend everything on my classes. Then he calls me a whore and a dirty b**** just because he's had one person which is me and I have a sexual history with my 4 bfs. I've even told him I don't like it, yet still he doesn't seem to respect that enough. 2. He needed some money 2 weeks ago about 200 dollars. I really didn't have the extra spending money but I decided that I would sacrifice and give him 250 dollars because he was in a bad place at the time. Then we were having sex and he accidentally came inside of me. He seemed like he didn't even care about it, like he was ok with doing that. So I told him he needed to get me the plan B. I didn't have enough because I gave him my money. He promised and he said he didn't have his wallet so he was going to go home and come back and get it for me. He never came back! He just left. Which shows he's not even mature to be having sex if he can't take responsibility. He apologized and I took him back. 3. I don't need this extra stress. I'm looking for different things. He says he's so in love with me but I picture the man who loves me as acting in different ways, not unrealistic ways but just at least being a standup guy. Change my mind. You are the med student who posted a few wks ago? After reading that story I instantly thought drop him. You don't need this. You really don't. You deserve a great guy Do the break!!!!! Find a great guy Stay strong dont put up with this. But don't contact him n focus on your future. You made a mistake. But hey who doesn't? Just stop though. You deserve a great guy. Perhaps you learned the value of sex in this and it can benefit you as well.
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Where do you live. I am looking for a great girl. Lol Jk Not really No but seriously focus on u
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Change my mind. You are the med student who posted a few wks ago? After reading that story I instantly thought drop him. You don't need this. You really don't. You deserve a great guy Do the break!!!!! Find a great guy Stay strong dont put up with this. But don't contact him n focus on your future. You made a mistake. But hey who doesn't? Just stop though. You deserve a great guy. Perhaps you learned the value of sex in this and it can benefit you as well. YES I am! embarrassed at the fact that I'm still on here talking about the same thing lol
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Where do you live. I am looking for a great girl. Lol Jk Not really No but seriously focus on u LOL ! Thanks, I'm going to take the advice.
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 LOL ! Thanks, I'm going to take the advice. Come back here to vent or whatever but make that decision starting now if you in fact to decide that. You are a med student this kid doesn't deserve your focus if he treats you like that
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Come back here to vent or whatever but make that decision starting now if you in fact to decide that. You are a med student this kid doesn't deserve your focus if he treats you like that Yup, I decided that I'm going through with my decision. Last night I explained everything to him and whether he thinks this is happening or not, it is.
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Yup, I decided that I'm going through with my decision. Last night I explained everything to him and whether he thinks this is happening or not, it is. Block his number fbook everything. Not to be mean to him although he will see it that way but so you are not tempted
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Block his number fbook everything. Not to be mean to him although he will see it that way but so you are not tempted Already done, believe me it was the first thing I did because I know if I'm not straight about my decision and I keep talking to him, going back and forth. It'll hurt him the most and I really don't want to do that. I'm trying to make this the least painful for him.
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I get so puzzled as why I was broken up with. I treated my ex so great. I miss her. I am 7 wks nc. I don't know how or why she just dropped me. Sorry I wrote this in your thread I just needed a place to vent.
Author crystal.mayer Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 I get so puzzled as why I was broken up with. I treated my ex so great. I miss her. I am 7 wks nc. I don't know how or why she just dropped me. Sorry I wrote this in your thread I just needed a place to vent. It's cool, we're all here to help each other. What happened before she broke up with you? What did she say?
jagdude14 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It's cool, we're all here to help each other. What happened before she broke up with you? What did she say? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372828-gf-broke-up-me-i-am-loss Here is my story. I am 7 wks nc and haven't tried to contact her and she hasn't me. Idk what went wrong. You can respond in this thread if you want. Thanks for the insight.
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