Lonely Guy 09 Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I just want to share my story.Please bear with me. Sometimes being just a friend,even if you dont want to,is the only choice you have.When you first meet a person,you dont know whether there's a future.You get to know her,hang out with her,talk with her,and slowly become close.While you are possibly thinking of her in a romantic way,since you obviously like her,maybe she just sees you as a friend.So while you were trying to get to know her,you just got FRIEND-ZONED. Yes if you are wondering,thats what happened to me.Whats worse is that,by the time I was truly in terms with my feelings,I had no longer any chance of being with her.Suddenly I was one of her good friends,and she had no feelings for me.I was too late.I took too long.Then one day she texts me and says "I am in a relationship "....... Obviously as a friend,I have to pretend to be happy for her.But it sucks,on so many levels.The guy she dates now,and supposedly LOVES,was a good friend of mine.Now I wish,if I again see that guy again,I will beat the crap out of him.So I avoid meeting him.I find myself working out extensively everyday,so that I can beat him to a pulp if I meet him oneday.Its been going on for last 6 months,and Ive bulked up considerably. But I suddenly realised,and as many people advised me,that I should admit my feelings to her.They said I should open up my heart.So I told her I had feelings for her.She told me she couldnt do anything,she felt bad for me,but she loved her bf,and she was helpless.The usual crap. Time went by and probably out of pity,she became closer to me,as a friend of course.Then suddenly things went south. Suddenly,one day for some particular reason,security reasons mainly,she gave me her facebook password,to make her account more strong.She trusted me then,it was obvious.Then I pulled a douche bag move.I read her messages.The messages she had sent her boyfriend.There I read something.She was basically sexting her boyfriend,and he was too.She had written about how she would undress for him,and he would fondle her,and that crap,I dont have to write,you people get what I mean,I dont have to elaborate anymore.She came to know I had read that.She was dissilussioned and felt betrayed that I had read her messages.She become very angry with me,she never considered how I felt when I had read those messages,how I felt that my world had fallen apart,how I felt that I would rather die. I apologised a lot,I truly regret doing that,but she didnt forgive me.That was 2 months ago.Now she texts me sometimes,is not as close to me as she was before.But I miss her so much,soooooooooooooooooooo much,I am truly in love with her.And just coming to think of the things she does with her bf,sets me on fire.Its feels so bad. I just wanted to share guys.Sorry if I bored you guys, I needed to get it all out.Please dont abuse me,I know I made some mistakes along the way,but who doesnt,I really regret it all now and I know you guys will tell me to move on,but its REALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY HARD.I dont know what to do guys.
geegirl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) You either want to move on or not. "Really hard" is an excuse. Of course it's really hard. Imagine those that were in full fledged relationships having to cut contact. It's been done. It can be done. If you want to and are determined to end this indefinite agony that you feel with contact, you will. Dumb move on her part to give you her password to do something any trained monkey can do. I'm sorry but if she knew you were so into her and she knew she had all those messages in there, whether she trusted you not to snoop, she should have kept it private. She could have asked you to list down steps on how to "strengthen" her FB page. Tell her politely that you still feel the same way about her and that contact is hurting you. Tell her that maybe in time, when you're in a better state of mind, you can rekindle a friendship with her. It's going to be very hard but your alternative is doing what you're doing, which unfortunately is not working for you. Edited March 1, 2013 by geegirl
todreaminblue Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) This is why i dont regret telling a guy i knew i had feelings for more than a friend, i cant deal with what if,i cant deal with regret...he didnt feel the same ay but its way better to know than not know......and f he gets in a relationship i wont be jealous a little sad maybe ok very sad ...and i would have to go no contact and woudl hoep and even pray fro the best fro him......he si a great guy.....lucky woman...... i feel for you, its hard when you truly care about someone to handle what you have and i dont think its everybody's way to be able to stand by and watch someone they care about be with another...i cant do it....and i can do a lot of things...that isnt one...if i were to be able to be friends with someone and they were taken there would have to be be no feelings of romantic interest there...its a heart ache that would hurt too much for this heart too handle, and i dont think you are handling the emotions you feel for her, you arent in control of them...that isnt good for anyone concerned and you feel for her romantically which isnt appropriate .considering she has a boyfriend... i dont think you should have to handle that heart ache you are going through, thoughts of physical violence against a guy who you say was a friend is not good for you...bitterness in your heart can get ravenous and swallow all the love you could have for another....which is what you need to consider, she is with someone, she shouldnt have given you her password if anyone betrayed anyone, she betrayed her correspondence from her boyfriend, and i dont think that was appropriate on her behalf to do ......whther she remembered the messages or not.....still wasnt right.....i feel and in my opinion all you can do is move on ,complete no contact, be respectful apologize if you feel the need, but find someone who is available to love you back as you should e loved by going no contact and healing form the heartbreak you are feeling........i wish you the best.....deb Edited March 1, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author Lonely Guy 09 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 Well what can I say?The policy of "No Contact" is different for me...What if she calls me?Tells me why I dont call or text her anymore?What am I supposed to say then?She says she still wants to be my friend when I had suggested that before. The thing is,its not like we were in a relationship,and things didnt work out.If that was the case,I would have been able to give myself some consolation,and think to myself "No.We tried our best.It just wasnt meant to happen."....I didnt even get a chance here.I have no doubt I can be a better boyfriend,I better person,I better lover... Thats what bugs me,I will be walking away from this,with regret and longing in my heart.So even though its been 5 days of no contact now(she has texted me once,bidding goodnight once.I didnt reply.Although we have exams going on,so maybe thats why she hasnt been texting).I always think,of what it could have been,what it should have been. I have dreams about her everyday,dreams where she loves me.Everyday.It hurts so much after I wake up,realising it was just a dream,ive given up on sleep preety much.I hardly sleep,I barely eat.Food has lost its taste.I just dont know what to do.Its a dilemma.If I leave her,I become sad.If I stay I become sad.
SuperGeek Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) You need to move on from it. She's obviously just stringing you along and she's not interested. You know you're friend zoned, so if you can't handle just being her friend, then just end it completely. Just stop communicating with her, she'll get the hint pretty fast. Here is a thread you should read about a guy who waited 10 years. Lots of time wasted and it's really sad, but he did it to himself and he learned a hard lesson (I hope). Learn from this thread and don't make the same mistake OregonFriendZoned did: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/365264-never-even-had-chance SuperGeek P.S. - Ask yourself this question? Do women wait around for a man to like them? NOPE! Most guys get a few tries and or they are history. Guys phone number is deleted and they move on. Women simply play this game much better than men do (just my opinion of course). Edited March 3, 2013 by SuperGeek
Darren Steez Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 Well what can I say?The policy of "No Contact" is different for me...What if she calls me?Tells me why I dont call or text her anymore?What am I supposed to say then?She says she still wants to be my friend when I had suggested that before. The thing is,its not like we were in a relationship,and things didnt work out.If that was the case,I would have been able to give myself some consolation,and think to myself "No.We tried our best.It just wasnt meant to happen."....I didnt even get a chance here.I have no doubt I can be a better boyfriend,I better person,I better lover... Thats what bugs me,I will be walking away from this,with regret and longing in my heart.So even though its been 5 days of no contact now(she has texted me once,bidding goodnight once.I didnt reply.Although we have exams going on,so maybe thats why she hasnt been texting).I always think,of what it could have been,what it should have been. I have dreams about her everyday,dreams where she loves me.Everyday.It hurts so much after I wake up,realising it was just a dream,ive given up on sleep preety much.I hardly sleep,I barely eat.Food has lost its taste.I just dont know what to do.Its a dilemma.If I leave her,I become sad.If I stay I become sad. What part of her undressing for him and him fondling her don't you understand?
Author Lonely Guy 09 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Posted March 3, 2013 What part of her undressing for him and him fondling her don't you understand? What do you mean mate?Will you please elaborate?
Author Lonely Guy 09 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Hmm guys?Please give some advice?
geegirl Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 The woman is in a relationship with someone else. She has no interest in being with you, romantically. The option of being friends is available to you. However, you CANNOT be friends with someone you are in love with. All you can do is NC and step away from this. You explain to her that you are emotional and that in time you may be able to be friends with her. Shut the door. What advice do you need?
Author Lonely Guy 09 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 The woman is in a relationship with someone else. She has no interest in being with you, romantically. The option of being friends is available to you. However, you CANNOT be friends with someone you are in love with. All you can do is NC and step away from this. You explain to her that you are emotional and that in time you may be able to be friends with her. Shut the door. What advice do you need? Thank you.Do you know what the guy above was trying to imply?
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