Sex with the EX

[Baby]

Ok, so it's the story you all have heard and probabaly experienced--the wonderful world of sex with the EX...so this question is kind of directed towards the males--what do guys think about when they are intimate with their ex?? This has been going on for about 6 months and it is pretty obvious that we aren't going to get back together--but i am beginning to feel like i am obsessed with him. i know that we aren't right for eachother, but i also know that i am not really interested in anyone else right now--or even having an intense relationship with someone. i don't really want to let go because the sex is too good and i am a horney scorpio who desires sexual attention! i am fine with the fact that we are firends and we both want the sex too--but i just trip out wondering what he is thinking through this whole thing...i don't want him using me in an unkind manner--does that make sense?? maybe i am just in love with him and this is ##### me up...what do i do??

[Tony T]

If your entire relationship at this time is limited to sex, just enjoy it and don't worry about it. But if you think you're becomming more emtionally attached, use great caution.

 

There is nothing wrong with the two of you "using" each other for sex under the present circumstances. What else would you call it? You all but admitted that you were using him. You also indicated you might still be in love with him. You better figure out what your feelings are really fast because you could be setting yourself up for very major hurt.

 

A lot of people who are not right for each other in many other areas but who are exceptionally compatible sexwise continue having sex for a period after the break up. They just figure they're used to each other, the hassle of finding another partner is something they don't want to deal with, and it's convenient. But it won't go on forever.

 

If the two of you are not dating other people...and you have admitted he is not right for you...continuing the sex will severely retard the healing process and postpone your ability to get out and find other more compatible and emotionally fulfilling relationships.

 

Also understand that one day, it is likely your partner will meet someone and let you know the sex has to cease. Just be prepared for that. If you are in love with him, this is where you will begin to feel the pain.

 

Meanwhile, just enjoy yourself, don't do a head trip on yourself about it, and don't get pregnant. Use your own good common sense in this matter.

[Deejette]

Why is he your ex? If things were so great between you, you would still be together. So you are both using each other because you are used to the sexual release and it is a sure thing for both of you.

 

But this will do a number on your head as time goes by and your self-esteem will lessen as you realize, "Hey, if the sex is so great, what's wrong with the rest of me? I guess that's not good enough. He is using me until someone better comes along that he can really love and get along with."

 

Consider actively putting yourself out there for a more compatitble relationship across the board, not just sexually.

If your entire relationship at this time is limited to sex, just enjoy it and don't worry about it. But if you think you're becomming more emtionally attached, use great caution. There is nothing wrong with the two of you "using" each other for sex under the present circumstances. What else would you call it? You all but admitted that you were using him. You also indicated you might still be in love with him. You better figure out what your feelings are really fast because you could be setting yourself up for very major hurt. A lot of people who are not right for each other in many other areas but who are exceptionally compatible sexwise continue having sex for a period after the break up. They just figure they're used to each other, the hassle of finding another partner is something they don't want to deal with, and it's convenient. But it won't go on forever. If the two of you are not dating other people...and you have admitted he is not right for you...continuing the sex will severely retard the healing process and postpone your ability to get out and find other more compatible and emotionally fulfilling relationships. Also understand that one day, it is likely your partner will meet someone and let you know the sex has to cease. Just be prepared for that. If you are in love with him, this is where you will begin to feel the pain. Meanwhile, just enjoy yourself, don't do a head trip on yourself about it, and don't get pregnant. Use your own good common sense in this matter.

[kimmi]

Ok, so it's the story you all have heard and probabaly experienced--the wonderful world of sex with the EX...so this question is kind of directed towards the males--what do guys think about when they are intimate with their ex?? This has been going on for about 6 months and it is pretty obvious that we aren't going to get back together--but i am beginning to feel like i am obsessed with him. i know that we aren't right for eachother, but i also know that i am not really interested in anyone else right now--or even having an intense relationship with someone. i don't really want to let go because the sex is too good and i am a horney scorpio who desires sexual attention! i am fine with the fact that we are firends and we both want the sex too--but i just trip out wondering what he is thinking through this whole thing...i don't want him using me in an unkind manner--does that make sense?? maybe i am just in love with him and this is ##### me up...what do i do??

feeling obsessed with him could lead your heart into alot of hurt. i would try and distance yourself with him for a bit and see how you feel, deal with the feelings of not having sex with him, i do believe that having sex with a ex is normal and safe as long as you know that he is only with you, if you are not sure use protection, not only can you get pregant but there are things out there like STD's.

 

keep busy with yourself, do things that you use to do, we all know that along in a relationship we tend to forget about things we use to do for ourselves. if you can not stand to be away from him then continue the sex but distance at least your heart from the sex. believe me it hurts but it works.

 

best of luck !!!!