Do women view being asked for dates and sex as equivalent to being asked for money?

[somedude81]

I see where you're coming from but don't agree with you. Women are glad to be asked out and have sex with men they like, it's that simple. When a man asks a woman on a date it's based off of initial attraciton as he doesn't know anything about her and I'd assume the woman would say yes/no based on initial attraction as she doesn't know anything about him.

And I'd assume that there are very few men that women like and would agree to a date with right away.

Until you have asked out EVERY SINGLE GIRL and every single one (have fun with 3.5 billion women on the planet) says no, your thinking is completely flawed and irrational.

 

I suggest you stop wondering about women and start working on what and how you think about things.

It's pointless to ask out so many women. I could ask out 50 women and that would be a sufficient sample. Granted I'm already at 25 rejections so I'm halfway there.

But what if she wanted to give you a good time?

 

You wouldn't think of it as a good time because you aren't attracted. Not because you are losing something.

Just my lunch

 

They have higher standards than you do.

Yup.

 

The average woman has much, much, much higher standards than I do.

 

And I'm not saying that I have very low standards either.

... off the mark...

 

consider this... someone asks you for money... and if you say maybe or yes... the person might attempt to harm or kill you as you are reaching for your wallet... or even after you give them your wad of cash. All when you are just being nice and generous.

I'm not talking about rape if that is what you are insinuating. Nothing I have discussed was even close to about being forced.

 

... and if you make a habit of giving lots of 'money' to strangers because you like to... someone calls you a slut. You aren't patted on the back for your generous, free spending ways. Just the opposite in fact.

That's because it's the norm for women to be very selective. If the majority of women were free about sex, then the ones who weren't would be shamed.

Don't you mean,

 

"Do women view being asked for dates and sex as equivalent to being OFFERED money?"

 

Or have I missed this already......?

Have you ever had a stranger walk up to you and ask you for money?

[somedude81]

In a weird messed up way you're kinda making sense but it's a really weird way to view things.

 

Yeah, I guess you could say the default answer is no. Is some random guy asked YOU for money what would you say? NO!

 

But if a family memeber or a friend who brings some value to you asked, you might say Yes.

 

The point is, you have to bring some value to them. WHY should they say yes... what are YOU bringing that 10 other guys who randomly yelled "Hey Hey baby" to them today, hasn't already brought.

 

I mean, if you just walk up and ask for sex. Of course they'll say no.

Yup that's exactly what I mean.

 

But if you walk up talk, come across like a cool guy she finds something funny or interesting about you and you find out you both like sushi or something, then you have a reason to ask her for sushi at some cool new place you wanted to check out.... THEN there is a reason for her to say Yes...

Though it still might be pulling teeth from a lion.

 

My next observation with women, is that in order to override their default "no" answer, one has to greatly impress them.

You guys here just look at this stuff in such a messed up way. You think girls should fall at your feet.

Of course not.

 

Though I don't believe that it should be as nearly impossible as it is. It's basically ridiculous.

No.

 

For most or all of those 50 girls in your sample size, having sex with YOU is like losing money. For a man they are attracted to, it's like winning money, sometimes like a really large sum.

 

What does that tell you?

 

You have to hit on or talk to more than those 50 girls. Try 100. When you hit one, I don't care that you are a 30 year old undergraduate and neither will she. Believe me. She'll be REALLY into you.

 

Do you believe me?

It's not just me. If the average guy asks out 50 random average girls, the vast majority would say no.

[somedude81]

Personally, I'd much rather give money to someone I didn't like than have sex with a man I didn't want. So, no, they're not alike.

Can you give me $50?

 

PM me and I'll tell you my Paypal account.

[tbf]

Completely off the mark. The comparison should be, would you have sex with fat chicks?

[ltjg45]

Completely off the mark. The comparison should be, would you have sex with fat chicks?

 

I can point out a few males that would.

[tbf]

I can point out a few males that would.

Irrelevant. somedude isn't attracted to fat chicks so this puts it into perspective for him.

[somedude81]

Who says I don't like you?

Heh, what a very nice way to say no

Completely off the mark. The comparison should be, would you have sex with fat chicks?

Yup, so most women view the average guy as how men see fat women.

 

BTW, I already answered the fat chick question in post #28.

[ltjg45]

Irrelevant. somedude isn't attracted to fat chicks so this puts it into perspective for him.

 

It is relevant. It's not like the OP was referring to just one female. He was referring to "women" as a whole.

 

Hence why my response was based on "men" as a whole.

[tbf]

Yup, so most women view the average guy as how men see fat women.

No. When people aren't attracted to the other person, they don't want to have sex with them. Is that concept too difficult to grasp?

[ltjg45]

No. When people aren't attracted to the other person, they don't want to have sex with them. Is that concept too difficult to grasp?

 

It is for some males.

 

If they want to go off and they can find a female to "pump and dump", they will do it.

 

That may apply to me and to you but it doesn't apply to everyone.

[somedude81]

No. When people aren't attracted to the other person, they don't want to have sex with them. Is that concept too difficult to grasp?

Most men by default are attracted to most women. Also men don't even really need to be attracted to a woman to sleep with her. Basically they just need to not be disgusted by her.

 

For a woman, if a man passes the not disgusting test, it's still not even close enough for her to say yes.

[xxoo]

Most men by default are attracted to most women. Also men don't even really need to be attracted to a woman to sleep with her. Basically they just need to not be disgusted by her.

 

For a woman, if a man passes the not disgusting test, it's still not even close enough for her to say yes.

 

Because she isn't walking around looking to get "release".

[somedude81]

Because she isn't walking around looking to get "release".

It's much more than that.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

It's not just me. If the average guy asks out 50 random average girls, the vast majority would say no.

 

So what. Life is unfair.

 

Be happy that you have all of your legs, hands, feet and organs and that you have cheekbones and and a chin and a defined facial structure. Go google Treacher Collins syndrome. Anybody who has that disease would kill to look like you.

 

So what if some women want the best looking guys? So what if it's most. So what if it's all of the first 50 women you saw on campus today. Let em. Screw em. Be happy with what you have.

 

And FYI, there is nothing wrong with you despite what everybody drills in your head. You're doing something with your life. There's people here who are giving you advice on how to get women who didn't have the balls to go get their degree at a later age in life. Kudos to you.

[Els]

I think women are likely to say yes (to a date, at any rate), if they like the guy. Sex is not usually asked up front before going on a date.

 

The thing here is that IMO it takes time for most women to know if they like a guy. If a total stranger just came up to me and asked me out, I'd say no. I don't know anything about him, plus my spidey senses will all be tingling because I was trained as a girl that being cautious with strange men can save you from a world of pain.

 

And obviously women have to be more selective about who they have sex with in general, based on the reasons described by most people - pregnancy, higher risk of STD transmission, etc. The net result of this is that women are still more likely to tie sex to emotions, even if the social stigma towards women who sleep around is dissipating (though not fully gone).

[xxoo]

It's much more than that.

 

It is much more than that, but don't underestimate that one small part.

 

I know how much hormones make a huge difference in how much I think about sex on a daily basis! And they make a difference in my attraction to some men, too.

[AD1980]

These days i see women having as much nsa as men..My buddy has had sex on the first date numerous times the past few months but hes also very good looking

 

Women want to have nsa sex as much as guys its just a smaller group of men who their willign to do it with then vice versa

[KraftDinner]

It surprises me whenever men don't realize how much more of a risk sex is for us than it is for them.

 

Have sex with a guy, there's a risk of pregnancy, no matter how careful you are. If you never see each other again, well...the guy is just fine, isn't he?

 

Biologically, there's some hormone that makes women feel bonded with a guy after sex. Men don't have this (or not to the same degree). So it makes a woman very vulnerable. Being rejected at that point feels very much like heartbreak.

 

I was in a sexless relationship for YEARS and I started to lose my mind. I started looking at every guy like a sex object...couldn't help it! But I NEVER acted on it although had plenty of opportunities. Why? Well, I wasn't a cheater, even though my ex likely was...but it was more than that. I couldn't even have a full-blown fantasy about these random guys because in my head, what if he got me alone and forced himself on me without a condom? Sounds weird, but really, women can't just go and put themselves in these situations.

 

Much easier to just get a fresh pack of batteries. Especially since if you have sex with a random, chances are he'll get off before you do.

 

So you're left feeling rejected by someone you don't actually care about, possibly knocked up (even if only a slim possibility) and quite probably sexually unsatisfied.

 

What part of that sounds appealing?

[2sure]

Saying No can be an automatic reaction to someone asking for sex, money, or food.

 

Because, if you say yes...they just keep asking for more. When does it end ?

[kiss_andmakeup]

Thread title is making me laugh. I just keep picturing a guy walking up to me and saying, "hey, excuse me, may I have some sex?"

[JuneJulySeptember]

It surprises me whenever men don't realize how much more of a risk sex is for us than it is for them.

 

Have sex with a guy, there's a risk of pregnancy, no matter how careful you are. If you never see each other again, well...the guy is just fine, isn't he?

 

Biologically, there's some hormone that makes women feel bonded with a guy after sex. Men don't have this (or not to the same degree). So it makes a woman very vulnerable. Being rejected at that point feels very much like heartbreak.

 

I was in a sexless relationship for YEARS and I started to lose my mind. I started looking at every guy like a sex object...couldn't help it! But I NEVER acted on it although had plenty of opportunities. Why? Well, I wasn't a cheater, even though my ex likely was...but it was more than that. I couldn't even have a full-blown fantasy about these random guys because in my head, what if he got me alone and forced himself on me without a condom? Sounds weird, but really, women can't just go and put themselves in these situations.

 

Much easier to just get a fresh pack of batteries. Especially since if you have sex with a random, chances are he'll get off before you do.

 

So you're left feeling rejected by someone you don't actually care about, possibly knocked up (even if only a slim possibility) and quite probably sexually unsatisfied.

 

What part of that sounds appealing?

 

Honestly, this thread has nothing to do with sex and the risks that women face by engaging in casual sex.

 

OP is not making out with and fooling around with women either. If he was able to get to third base but not any further, then it'd be a different story.

 

Women are often mightily attracted to men and let those men do everything possibly imaginable to them without letting them stick it in. That is a totally different thing.

 

So, the risk of pregnancy and all that other stuff you can throw out the window.

[JuneJulySeptember]

BTW, I don't think anybody has brought this up, but I give $ to strangers all the time.

 

I gave a guy outside Dunkin Donuts 20 bucks on Christmas Eve. I also told him I didn't care if he bought liquor with it.

[Els]

Honestly, this thread has nothing to do with sex and the risks that women face by engaging in casual sex.

 

OP is not making out with and fooling around with women either. If he was able to get to third base but not any further, then it'd be a different story.

 

Women are often mightily attracted to men and let those men do everything possibly imaginable to them without letting them stick it in. That is a totally different thing.

 

So, the risk of pregnancy and all that other stuff you can throw out the window.

 

The OP specifically asked why most men would have sex with any 'non-disgusting' woman who lets him have sex with her, and why it's different for women. He has specifically asked us in other threads to not turn every thread into a personal discussion about his specific case, but rather to answer his question. Want to honor his request?

[AD1980]

It is much more than that, but don't underestimate that one small part.

 

I know how much hormones make a huge difference in how much I think about sex on a daily basis! And they make a difference in my attraction to some men, too.

 

So women are attracted to different types of men depending on the time of the month?

 

Thats kinda dangerous

[xxoo]

So women are attracted to different types of men depending on the time of the month?

 

Thats kinda dangerous

 

I can only speak for myself.....

 

I'm just attracted to more men when hormones surge. I walk around with sexual thoughts and wet panties those couple days a month. I have "sex on the brain". I see men differently in general.

 

And then the egg drops, and it is back to normal .