miklos Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Hi everyone This is my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372627-gay-couple-involves-meth-cheating-love#post4597868 Despite being broke up for 2 months now, I still miss my ex so much. I wish he would sleep me cuddling, hang out, watch tv, do homework together. Our relationship only lasted 2.5 months!!! Why havent I gotten over it??!!! For me it was real!! I opened myself up so much to that person like i never did before to anyone else. He was the person that knew everything about me. No one compares to him , not my friends or family. He was probably as important to me as my family but he knew my emotions and secrets more than my family. I probably miss that. just someone thats there and supports me. I love him. I miss him. I probably helped end our relationship. I was too needy. He asked for space and I didnt give him any. why did it end?
Author miklos Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Everyday is just pain, i want this to end. why doesnt the pain leave?? Why doesnt he come back? does he not miss me? was what we had not real? Im done i want this to end.
Author miklos Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 ive been posting every day..so much pain
geegirl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 You went back a month ago and he was rather cruel to you. So eventhough you have been broken up for two months, it really doesn't carry any weight in your healing because you have been engaging with your source of pain. You can't just get over it. It is going to take time to get through this, and it doesn't help that you have devalued yourself to such an extent that you've crippled yourself and become utterly dependent on someone else to help you function. Now, detaching makes it even harder. He does not come back because he does not want the relationship or to continue with you. Try not to project your feelings and expectations of what you felt the relationship was on him.
Author miklos Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Your right... basically ive been broken up for a month... i went back and I begged. I got on my knees and i cried so much. that episode pretty much sealed the fate that we will never get back together...
geegirl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Your right... basically ive been broken up for a month... i went back and I begged. I got on my knees and i cried so much. that episode pretty much sealed the fate that we will never get back together... And as much as you do not see it, it's a blessing. You can now move on, as painful as it is. No more second guessing if there is a chance, or getting fed crumbs that only keep you in limbo. This will allow you to shut that door and just focus and barrel through your pains and healing. I know it is painful. We have all been there. But trust it won't always be this way.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Miklos, you must be in some serious pain buddy...you vent everyday about this guy. Which is good...better here then via text to his phone. You really need to pick yourself up, meet new people, hang with friends and have a good time. You really need to workout and focus on your dieting as well...a proper diet and exercise can actually make you feel ten times better. Give yourself a makeover, get in shape(if this applies) and hit the town and meet some new men. Once you start getting attention from other, attractive gay males you may feel so much better. In the meantime, delete your ex from your life...that means from your phone, social network sites etc. Make sure you toss out any items that may remind you of him and delete or toss all of his old pics. Focus on you now. You live in San Fran right? From what I gather there is no shortage of gay males there...I am sure you can meet another guy that deserves your affection and attention.
Author miklos Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Alex from Boston Yeah I am pain. I was in worse pain in January. I was in Mexico. I was so depressed. Well today I started NC again. So I am in day 1 as I texted him and called him yesterday. I will never contact him again. I am trying to meet new people. I am trying to not be home alone. I am trying to meet other guys. Its not the same. I just think about him and how nobody can compare to him in his good qualities. I am still clinging to some of this stuff (dirty clothes, his xmas stocking with his name on it and signature tattoo, and his toothbrush) I will meet someone better. i know it. will take time. I need to love myself and find happiness within me. i dont need anyone 1
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