He takes hours and hours to text me back...should i ditch him?

[Krieger]

I would NOT date him. Had the same issue with one guy....he was a great guy, but would take hours and hours to text. At some point took 24 hours. WTH? NOBODY is that busy.

 

I am that busy but on the other hand i am up 20 hours out of 24 so texting is back not a problem.

[Clockwork]

Your first mistake I noticed even in the thread title. You are interested in this guy so you..............text him. Unless you are 14 my advice is use that silly little thing that we used to call a phone and talk to him the way a grown up does. Texting is the most impersonal thing you can possibly do if you want to get to know someone. It is another way of saying "I am too busy for you now, but in between things I am doing I might drop you a line". Texting has no rules. It requires no emotion. If you want a real relationship you should pick up a phone and call him.

[Bito]

well if i just meet her I would text back 5-10 min so i do not seem to available.

 

I am busy all the time and if i was not i act like i was.

 

same goes for if we only meet a week ago if she called I would not pick up the phone and have her leave a message or get iton the last ring.

 

I call back in a few min 1-3 tops.

 

If i get back to her to fast she think I am not interesting and to predictable.

 

I personally feel like this strategy is a double edged blade. If a girl knows you are busy and a motivated person i doubt she would criticize you for responding to fast. In fact in certain situations it can actually help you.

 

Another aspect would be would you actually care to have a romantic relationship with a girl who would place stock on something as trivial as that? Real worth while people who are mature and developed will not find fault in you for texting back quickly.

[Krieger]

I personally feel like this strategy is a double edged blade. If a girl knows you are busy and a motivated person i doubt she would criticize you for responding to fast. In fact in certain situations it can actually help you.

 

Another aspect would be would you actually care to have a romantic relationship with a girl who would place stock on something as trivial as that? Real worth while people who are mature and developed will not find fault in you for texting back quickly.

 

I just rather not text her back right away since i never have my phone on me.

[xpaperxcutx]

Reasons why guys don't get back to me-

Their batteries died

They lost their phones

They broke their phones

Their dogs ate their phones

They work a 12 hour shift that require their phones to be off

 

 

Or they're really not interested?

 

As far as I'm aware of, anyone with a smartphone is prone to texting because one, it is an addiction and there is mildly amusing about sneaking in a few texts while at work.

 

OP, what's his day job?

 

I think there's a reason why he takes a long time to text back a 12-hour gap just seems way too excessive, doesn't it?

[xpaperxcutx]

I find this thread hard to relate to. During busy hours at work I have to focus and will usually put my phone silent and not even check it. That could easily be 6 hours straight. Everyone important to me has my office phone number, which they know is in case of emergency only. I can't imagine having to check my phone, much less having to respond within say 2 hours no matter what, sometimes my job just requires me to be in the zone and coming out of it to read a non-important text message and think about a witty response and typing it out on a phone just seems like an annoyance and a completely unnecessary hurdle.

 

It's not about relating to a situation but rather looking at things from different perspectives. People with jobs that involve their phones and electronics are more prone to wanting to check messages, emails, news, etc. That's why I asked the OP what was his day job. I also know of people who work at a jobs that require them to turn off their cell phones completely until they get off work .

[Krieger]

Reasons why guys don't get back to me-

Their batteries died

They lost their phones

They broke their phones

Their dogs ate their phones

They work a 12 hour shift that require their phones to be off

 

 

Or they're really not interested?

 

As far as I'm aware of, anyone with a smartphone is prone to texting because one, it is an addiction and there is mildly amusing about sneaking in a few texts while at work.

 

OP, what's his day job?

 

I think there's a reason why he takes a long time to text back a 12-hour gap just seems way too excessive, doesn't it?

 

 

well what if a guy has a job as a nurse and works a 12 hour day in the ICU? I am sorry his phone will not be on him most of the time and a girls text can wait when he is dealing with a life and death situations.

 

I am sure what ever a girl has to text a guy can wait in this case.

[Fondue]

I'm not big on communication, especially on constant communication, so long time between texts doesn't bother me at all. I sometimes take a while to respond, I have other things going on. Work, friends, nap time. Anything. Sometimes I just don't want to reply in that particular moment, and will do so later. I don't ignore texts all together.

 

Besides, in the job that I work in, I am on my work phone constantly. I sometimes just want to avoid using the phone all together once I'm done with work, or want to avoid using any more phone communication than I have to, this includes using my personal phone. I may postpone using it simply because I'm tired of the phones all together. I hope that this paragraph made sense, it made sense in my head.

[ja123]

What is the difference though? How they communicate isn't as important. It's what they communicate that matters.

 

Text message, phone call, letter in a bottle, smoke signals. It's the message that should be the focus, not how you got the message.

 

 

Yeah, but for me the "medium is the message" to quote Marshall McLuhan.

 

I'm in the anti-text camp. It's just sooo annoying to me.

 

TBH, I'm in the anti-cell phone camp, too. They come in handy, though, if there aren't any public phones around!

[RebelWithoutACause]

Do you want him to change his texting style to accommodate you? Because it doesn't look he will. So if you can't live with 12h between texts don't go out with him. Simple.

[johnnyk]

Text messages is sort of like email. Some people receive a few messages a day, some receive a lot. For the former, it's more manageable. For those that receive a lot, a queue starts to build and that text message you sent and were hoping to receive an instant response to, gets pushed down the list as that person receives more messages. They may have been in the middle of something and wanted to respond right away, but was unable to, then simply forgot to until they looked at their phone hours later. Don't underestimate laziness too.

[sillyanswer]

However, major issue is that he takes hours on end to reply.

 

Your phone has this really neat feature where you can use it to talk to the other person in real-time. I'll bet his phone has the same feature. Call him and have a conversation.

[ja123]

Text messages is sort of like email.

 

Yeah, but how come it feels like spam?

[drakewrites]

I know a girl like that. She's pretty, perfect, beautiful, nice, charming... BUT she takes days to respond, sometimes never does. I wouldn't date her just because I think being reliable is important in a relationship.

 

Sure, some guys might read on the internet rules like, "Don't text back after a day or two so she thinks you're not to into her..." and stuff like that, but the bottom line is if a guy likes you, he's going to text you back, and quickly. I text back girls I like (or GF if I have one at the time) almost immediately; because I want the conversation to keep going.

[almosteverythingx]

Wow... guys thanks for all your responses/ takes on the situation.

 

Well this guy has just graduated and just works in retail. No strange hours or anything like that. I put it down to him not being into me because if you did really like someone you would want to reply when you've read it ( he has an iphone, i notice he usually reads it like half an hour later... then hours and hours later he replies...) so he clearly can see it.

 

I understand that yes we all have things better to do with our lives than text people, but you must understand this is very early days again with us, so i would expect some effort to me made 'in the early day stage' .

 

Also, people who tell me to ring him: i'm 21 years old, it is 2013... get with the time people... texting is practical and means you can send a text in a few seconds and carry on doing whatever you are doing.

[strawberryshortstack]

Wow... guys thanks for all your responses/ takes on the situation.

 

Well this guy has just graduated and just works in retail. No strange hours or anything like that. I put it down to him not being into me because if you did really like someone you would want to reply when you've read it ( he has an iphone, i notice he usually reads it like half an hour later... then hours and hours later he replies...) so he clearly can see it.

 

I understand that yes we all have things better to do with our lives than text people, but you must understand this is very early days again with us, so i would expect some effort to me made 'in the early day stage' .

 

Also, people who tell me to ring him: i'm 21 years old, it is 2013... get with the time people... texting is practical and means you can send a text in a few seconds and carry on doing whatever you are doing.

 

 

Some businesses actually have "no texting or personal phone call" policies in place. So sometimes, it's just not possible to text back right away, and then people forget. It isn't *always* indicative of a lack of interest.

 

Only you can judge your own situation, though.

[love1336x]

I don't think he is, i know this is sneaky, but try to text him with another number and you'll see how fast he will response to a strange number vs you.

 

I used to date a man who would vanish in the weekends. He always told me, "Oh where I go I get NO service."

"Phone died"

 

JUST million of excuses.

So, one day when he vanished. I text him with friend's number and he magically got service..

[Tony427]

People take texting way to freaking seriously these days... it's annoying. There is a reason the text stays in the phone.... so you can get back to it when you have the chance. I personally don't have a cell phone for specifically this reason, I don't want people constantly wondering "why hasn't he texted me back."

 

If I ever do get a cell I would make sure everyone I gave my number to knows that I am not going to jump on the damn thing every five minutes to make sure I didn't miss a text. That's just neurotic imo.

 

I have classes that are 2-3 hours long... not going to text during them.

 

I play video games, write, and draw... not going to stop every five minutes to check the damn phone. I'll check it when I get up to do something else.

 

I don't think waiting as long as 4-5 hours for a response is too much to ask.

[rocketman122]

well if i just meet her I would text back 5-10 min so i do not seem to available.

 

I am busy all the time and if i was not i act like i was.

 

same goes for if we only meet a week ago if she called I would not pick up the phone and have her leave a message or get iton the last ring.

 

I call back in a few min 1-3 tops.

 

If i get back to her to fast she think I am not interesting and to predictable.

 

you started with 10-30 minutes then got criticized and cut it down to 5-10.

1- I answer right away or within a short time. I dont play those stupid games and have never had a woman think im desperate. never. in fact they loved getting such attention and were even more interested. it made them feel special.

 

those delayed replies is actually the opposite and playing those games is pathetic desperation to get her attention! "If I ignore her, she'll be curious and take more interest" SO LAME!

 

2-if I cant answer, since we all have busy times at work, I send a quick "have stress at work. TTS" but they appreciate it that I take the 10 seconds to reply and it shows consideration on my part. thats why Im successful with the ladies.

 

people are looking for every single reason why not to have a relationship with good communication. and most of these people are single.

[tuxedo cat]

This guy sounds like a dick.

[CudLRoo]

Ah, texts. So easy, yet they can make it so hard...

 

It's odd trying to recall life pre-2001, before I bought my first mobile/celly. I wonder how over-complicated the ever-expanding world of comms has made the romance biz nowadays?

[baRx]

well if i just meet her I would text back 5-10 min so i do not seem to available.

 

I am busy all the time and if i was not i act like i was.

 

same goes for if we only meet a week ago if she called I would not pick up the phone and have her leave a message or get iton the last ring.

 

I call back in a few min 1-3 tops.

 

If i get back to her to fast she think I am not interesting and to predictable.

 

i have to laugh whenever i see stuff like this. yeah, let's play the "who's more unavailable" game.

 

do you people seriously fall into that trap? "omg they texted me back RIGHT AWAY! they must be boring, not interesting, too predictable, some kind of loser, needy and every other negative sign in the world"

 

i happen to text back right away, no matter who i'm talking to. i keep my phone in my upper pocket of my jacket/shirts (if my shirts have one), so i always hear when it goes off.

the BS you people describe is so fake it amazes me.

 

if someone doesn't like you, or is turned off by how quickly you respond to a text, and feels that you're *insert negative word* here, then you need to re-think the people you're spending your time with.

 

i've never once thought anyone was needy, uninteresting or boring because they texted me back right away. i know damn well they're not sitting there specifically waiting for me to text them. they probably felt the vibrate, or heard the ring tone and that's that.

 

get over yourselves, people. seriously.