drakewrites Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted a summary of me and my girlfriend's relationship a week or so ago on here, got some great advice, and I took it, and broke it off with my GF. Basically, I was second in her life to her best (bisexual) female friend who has treated me like crap on multiple occasions. I'm not sure if my GF realized she treated me second to her, since we have talked about it multiple times, but regardless my GF has stood up for her first, usually, without looking at my side, etc, every time me and this friend don't get along. Essentially, my GF has never stood up for me or defended me to this "friend" of ours, and thanks to all you awesome, caring people out there on these forums, I was able to figure out that I deserved better. I tried talking to her through texts about how she treats me second, how if she was taking pictures and letting a guy grab her boobs I would have already broken off (this female bi-sexual friend does), how I think their friendship is very bizarre, and just generally how I feel she has not fought for me at all. I think people fight for what they love. I went to go talk to her in person, and she didn't really seem to understand my perspective still. She said she did, but she didn't act like it. She accused me at first that it was my fault because I decided to speak to the boyfriend of the friend, which she told me not to do. Eventually, though, I asked her again, for 100% clarification, if she thought I deserved better. She said yes. She also said that she knew she was a bad girlfriend. So I broke it off yesterday morning. I'm really sad about the situation, even though I broke it off and even though she admitted to being a bad girlfriend (she has said that a thousand times, too, in just three months of dating.) I totally bombed two exams at school today because instead of studying this past weekend, I was busy worrying about my exe. In less than a few hours of us breaking up, she texted me a LOT, telling me thank you for being a great boyfriend, that she already missed me a lot, that she was super sorry and now realizes everything I was trying to say, that I was right in saying that she should have defended me... she said she wants to try again and that she knows she did wrong. I'm so stressed right now I don't even know what to do. All my friends say to not see her for a week at least, to get some clarity, but I'm afraid if I do that, then she might not want to try again, like she does now. I realize this is dumb. I also kind of set up a date with a very cute girl tomorrow night, someone who I've had a crush on for a LONG time (years), so I'm wondering if that's okay that I do that. It's not a date, really, just dinner and a movie with a very cute friend. Please let me know if I did the right thing by breaking it off, if I should give her a second chance, etc, how long I should wait before deciding what to do... I deleted her on FaceBook/Instagram, and we texted yesterday, but today I told her I needed some space, and she said she would be there when I was ready with my decision, and that'd she'd give me space until then. Original thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/374295-my-gf-told-me-i-deserve-better
TaraMaiden Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 If you really want to know whether you did the right thing, read this thread. All the confirmation you need, is already there. In fact, this one contains good advice too....
StanMusial Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Go on the date with the cute girl and have fun. You did the right thing, don't doubt yourself. 1
ChessPieceFace Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I also kind of set up a date with a very cute girl tomorrow night, someone who I've had a crush on for a LONG time (years), so I'm wondering if that's okay that I do that. It's not a date, really, just dinner and a movie with a very cute friend. Sounds way too sudden. Maybe it will make you feel better but you're probably jeopardizing your chances with this new girl. Tons of girls in the world. Your old girl was a dead end street. Bisexual & polyamorous & inconsiderate with a man-hating and/or jealous female lover. BLECH. Good riddance to her. 2
johnnyk Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 She may be remorseful now, but what makes you think she'd change her flawed personality for you? Because that sounds to me to be the problem here, not the way she's treated you.
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 She may be remorseful now, but what makes you think she'd change her flawed personality for you? Because that sounds to me to be the problem here, not the way she's treated you. What do you mean by flawed personality?
ja123 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You did the right thing. Go NC for at least a month, if not 4ever. Enjoy your outing with your "very cute friend". 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 What do you mean by flawed personality? Stop analysing and asking ridiculous questions. You know what was flawed about her personality, that's sufficient.....
Mrlonelyone Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You did the right thing. Your girlfriend telling you that you deserve better that many times, the acting the way she did is a bad sign. If you had stuck with her, imagine a lifetime of dealing with her. The only way you get a second shot with her is after a LONG time of NC in which both of you grow and change. It's not likely, so it's best to just move on. Dating is for finding the right fit. It takes many tries and usually doesn't work out. Have faith that in time you will do better.
MyPoutine Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You love her, you want to be with her. Maybe you'll learn and walk away forever or you'll revert and regret as she takes another chunk out of your self esteem.
Treasa Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Don't date someone who only admits she was wrong when you break it off and she realizes she doesn't have you on the hook anymore. Enjoy your time out with this cute girl! 1
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 If you really want to know whether you did the right thing, read this thread. All the confirmation you need, is already there. In fact, this one contains good advice too.... Hah good reply. The second link is from a different girlfriend though heh heh!
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Don't date someone who only admits she was wrong when you break it off and she realizes she doesn't have you on the hook anymore. Enjoy your time out with this cute girl! Thanks! Yeah that's how I felt. I want to be with someone that understands BEFORE we have to break up. 1
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 You love her, you want to be with her. Maybe you'll learn and walk away forever or you'll revert and regret as she takes another chunk out of your self esteem. Thanks. I love shoes too haha. I told her this morning I didn't want to try again. I don't want to have her waiting/holding out for me... I would feel that's unfair of me.
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 You did the right thing. Your girlfriend telling you that you deserve better that many times, the acting the way she did is a bad sign. If you had stuck with her, imagine a lifetime of dealing with her. The only way you get a second shot with her is after a LONG time of NC in which both of you grow and change. It's not likely, so it's best to just move on. Dating is for finding the right fit. It takes many tries and usually doesn't work out. Have faith that in time you will do better. Thanks. Yeah I think that I wouldn't be able to be with someone who wasn't at my side 100% forever.
Author drakewrites Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 I read your other thread and I don't understand why you're so in denial about your girlfriend and her bisexual friend. It's quite clear there's a lot more going on there than just trying on each other's shoes and doing each other's makeup. Come on, it ain't rocket science. Secondly, it's very very obvious that neither of them respect you. They both act like they tolerate you - and sometimes, even that is a stretch. You seem pretty passive and girls like that will eat you up and spit you out because they perceive you as weak. Add on the recent performance anxiety you experienced with her (which was just another sign of weakness to her) and her contemptuous reaction just proves my point. She DOESN'T respect you. Go back to her after the horrifically disrespectful way you've been treated for months and you know what? You'll look even MORE weak to her. Yeah so true! And that's EXACTLY how I've been feeling, I couldn't put a finger on it, but that's EXACTLY the word... she TOLERATES me, and that's sometimes. I guess the reason this went on for three months was because it was hard to see that... interesting... thank you so much.
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