Johnnn Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Hi, I'm new to these forums but am looking for opinions on my scenario. Anyway here goes... I started seeing a woman who I had worked with in November last year, we never really spoke in work but kind of got pushed together on a works night out because apparently she had really liked me for a long time. I was kind of hesitant at first as I didn't think I was ready for a relationship or dating after been hurt a couple of times before. I tried not to make any of the running and didn't want to get attached too quick. Anyway a few dates in and all was going great, she seemed to be totally into me and the feeling very much started to go the other way. We regularly seen each other out of work and went past the dating stage, she met all of my friends and texted me constantly every day. Three months in it was all going great, I couldn't believe how good it was, better than anything I've been involved in before. Last time I seen her we had been out for the night, I stayed at hers, we had a great night, went out for breakfast, as I was about to go she even said she didn't want me leave and couldn't wait until next time. Then it all changed, I never seen her again. I was meant to see her a few days later, but she found something else she had to do. This went on for 2 weeks, she kept stringing me along arranging to meet but suddenly found something more important. I asked her could we meet for a chat but she tells me she can't even spare half hour she's got that much on at the minute. I went by her house to confront her on this because it was confusing the hell out of me, as I drove down her road she was just walking in her house, as I pulled up round the corner I received a text from her saying she had just arrived at her friends house and was going to be stuck there all night because her friend was upset over something. But I had just seen her walk in her house?! The following two weeks she told me places where she was going so she couldn't see me which also turned out to be lies. As well as working full time where I work she also works weekends for the family business, and a couple of nights a week for a friends business. I know she also had time off work last year through exhaustion due to all of these commitments. Anyway it's all gone through texts since then but apparently she says she's realised that although she really likes me she just hasn't got time in her life for a relationship. I'm just really confused, why make all the running in the first place, and why tell me she can't wait to see me next time if she had no intentions of seeing me again anyway. Plus, ok yes she's busy with work etc, but to lie on numerous occassions about where she is to sound busier than she is, I just don't get it. Maybe I'm looking for something that isn't there but I'm just deeply confused by the whole setup, sorry for going on!
blue_jay_bird Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Sounds like she does not have the balls to dump you. You can either confront her or go NC. I would go NC.
Rob2183 Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 She seems pretty shady, like she's hiding something from you. I would say she's probably trying to let go of you but just can't talk to you about it. I wouldn't talk to her for a few days and see how she reacts. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/374543-can-t-figure-out-what-girl-wants Help me out!?
Author Johnnn Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Cheers for the input guys. I'm just confused to be honest, how can it go from been so good to just a string of lies to avoid seeing me. Maybe she has got a lot on but not even having 10 mins to spare makes me think she doesn't think much of me in the first place. Time to move on!
clia Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 Did you ever talk about being exclusive/boyfriend/girlfriend?
TouchedByViolet Posted February 18, 2013 Posted February 18, 2013 I would have confronted her at her house when she texted you she was at a friends. Maybe you could have gotten the truth out of her then. Regardless, she has moved on from you and you need to move on from her. If she chooses to give you a reason, that would be nice but doesn't change the outcome at all. She will probably make up some lie for the reason anyways.
Author Johnnn Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 Did you ever talk about being exclusive/boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes we talked about this, it was her who instigated the whole we were now partners
Author Johnnn Posted February 18, 2013 Author Posted February 18, 2013 I would have confronted her at her house when she texted you she was at a friends. Maybe you could have gotten the truth out of her then. Regardless, she has moved on from you and you need to move on from her. If she chooses to give you a reason, that would be nice but doesn't change the outcome at all. She will probably make up some lie for the reason anyways. Thanks, I should have confronted her there and then, but I did mention it a few days later but she just siad it can't have been her etc etc, the lies continue. I just don't get why someone would suddenly just start lying rather than saying something. I hear you though, it's time to move on, just confused the life out of me.
Author Johnnn Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Bump, still confused by this completely!
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