LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) 2:15am 'Did you get a Valentine?' When I read it I got that sicky feeling, then excited, then annoyed. In the past I would have text him back within seconds. I didn't this time, I couldn't get back to sleep so went downstairs to calm myself down. I didn't over think it at all, I just told myself the truth, 'It means nothing', and went back to bed. So today I gave it a little thought. Still sticking to the fact that it meant nothing though. He has gone from wanting to stay friends (which I said no to) but still replied to his texts which caused me more pain and was constantly anxious. Then last week he sent me a final email saying how being in contact isn't such a good idea, and then he text me to say 'Did you get a Valentine' What the actual ****! He knows full well that I wouldn't have had one! I still haven't replied. I think I know why he sent it. He wanted me to reply to ask him the same question, just so he can kick me while I'm down and say something like 'Yeah I did as it goes ' But then I think, maybe he wants to talk and sort things out and is just starting a conversation before doing so. I very much doubt it though. Thoughts? Edited February 15, 2013 by LostGirl11
NoLeafClover Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) 2:15am 'Did you get a Valentine?' When I read it I got that sicky feeling, then excited, then annoyed. In the past I would have text him back within seconds. I didn't this time, I couldn't get back to sleep so went downstairs to calm myself down. I didn't over think it at all, I just told myself the truth, 'It means nothing', and went back to bed. So today I gave it a little thought. Still sticking to the fact that it meant nothing though. He has gone from wanting to stay friends (which I said no to) but still replied to his texts which caused me more pain and was constantly anxious. Then last week he sent me a final email saying how being in contact isn't such a good idea, and then he text me to say 'Did you get a Valentine' What the actual ****! I still haven't replied. I think I know why he sent it. He wanted me to reply to ask him the same question, just so he can kick me while I'm down and say something like 'Yeah I did as it goes ' But then I think, maybe he wants to talk and sort things out and is just starting a conversation before doing so. I very much doubt it though. Thoughts? Or maybe he asked so he could say that he didn't have a good valentine. This way he can pull you deeper and have you think he still wants to be with you. Don't be stupid and think of replying. You know better. My ex did the same thing except that it wasn't for valentines. She replied "Did you ever really love me" and got no reply (It's very hard not to reply to an obvious question). She texted me a few more times and drove by my house couple of times but never was able to get in contact with me. This is exactly the same thing; Breadcrumbs and an ego boost. You have the upper hand now and time to show that you are now in control of your feelings and this so called ex-relationship he wants to call friendship. Don't give in and show weakness or you are going to be beating yourself over it again later. Let him get a taste of his own medicine. Edited February 15, 2013 by NoLeafClover 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Or maybe he asked so he could say that he didn't have a good valentine. This way he can pull you deeper and have you think he still wants to be with you. Don't be stupid and think of replying. You know better. My ex did the same thing except that it wasn't for valentines. She replied "Did you ever really love me" and got no reply (It's very hard not to reply to an obvious question). She texted me a few more times and drove by my house couple of times but never was able to get in contact with me. This is exactly the same thing; Breadcrumbs and an ego boost. You have the upper hand now and time to show that you are now in control of your feelings and this so called ex-relationship he wants to call friendship. Don't give in and show weakness are you are going to be beating yourself over it again. Let him get a taste of his own medicine. Maybe, either way it's a pretty nasty thing to do. If he wanted me back he would let it be known, right? It does feel good to have the upper hand, I was the one that was always ignored. I do feel a little bad though. I'm too soft. I'm thinking of his feelings rather than mine. Again! I won't reply though. 1
Absewarrior Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Lost Girl: It is over yet he wants to toy with you for his ego...it is wise not to reply and to hang out with your friends and do things that you love now. Move on and appreciate the fact that you have the entire world in front of you and adventures around the next corner. Do not pine over someone that it didn't work out with...just prepare yourself mentally and physically to be the best person you can be for your next relationship. You got this...you will be okay. Grieve him and then let it go...he was not the one. AW
msalek89 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 so much to your situation, but trust me it's not worth it. Read my post, it should help http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/373200-nc-week-until-he-text-last-night-disturbed
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 so much to your situation, but trust me it's not worth it. Read my post, it should help http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/373200-nc-week-until-he-text-last-night-disturbed Lol. So your ex ignored you too. Nice to have some power back isn't it? But like you said, it kills our peace of mind. 2:15am! What a joke. Was probably feeling a bit lonley or couldn't sleep. Did you end up replying? Did he try again?
Chi townD Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Really? A text at 2:15 AM "Did you get a valentine?" Really?!?! Good for staying strong and staying NC. I would have texted back, " Yeah, and I'm enjoying my Valentine right now! Have a good night because I sure am! :)" 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Really? A text at 2:15 AM "Did you get a valentine?" Really?!?! Good for staying strong and staying NC. I would have texted back, " Yeah, and I'm enjoying my Valentine right now! Have a good night because I sure am! :)" A little strange isn't it...
Chi townD Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Probably a drunk text. I would just ignore it.
geegirl Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I woke up this morning and saw a text from an old assclown, "Happy Valentine's Day to my sweet Geegirl" at 12:54AM. Missed it by 54 minutes. I showed it to my bf and he said, "Hmm...must be drunk or looking for booty call." I have not heard from this clown in 3 years. I know he's too far away for that, but if someone is legitimately interested in getting back with you, they reach out at a reasonable hour with much more to say than did you get a Valentine. His time on the dating site must be fruitless. 2
msalek89 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) Lol. So your ex ignored you too. Nice to have some power back isn't it? But like you said, it kills our peace of mind. 2:15am! What a joke. Was probably feeling a bit lonley or couldn't sleep. Did you end up replying? Did he try again? I broke up with him in a heat of the moment type of fight. The next day I realized that it was childish of me to do that and I called, text, looked for him, begged, for almost two weeks and he was just so proud to reply. Even after a month of contact here and there I went to see him and it was just worthless. So that was my final point, I said to myself I am not making a fool out of myself anymore. 2 weeks of NC strong and he texts me that. Like really at 1:30am? I have not bothered to reply and I will not reply because I have done enough to show him that I want to be with him and if he doesn’t see it then I can’t do anything else. Also, if he wants to work it out he will text me at appropriate times and saying something more than "U up?". So girl I suggest that you don’t answer back. It will hurt you more. I won’t lie to you, I miss him but then I think if things happened this way it’s for a reason. If you are with a person it’s to make each other happy and if you fight with that person or whatever happens, if you really love them, you fight for it. Loving a person is the fact of your heart been ripped off if you see them with someone else, is only wanting that person for you, making them priority, to me that’s love, and my ex relationship was nowhere near those words. Edited February 15, 2013 by msalek89
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 I woke up this morning and saw a text from an old assclown, "Happy Valentine's Day to my sweet Geegirl" at 12:54AM. Missed it by 54 minutes. I showed it to my bf and he said, "Hmm...must be drunk or looking for booty call." I have not heard from this clown in 3 years. I know he's too far away for that, but if someone is legitimately interested in getting back with you, they reach out at a reasonable hour with much more to say than did you get a Valentine. His time on the dating site must be fruitless. Blimey. Seems like a few dumpers broke NC on Valentines day/night. Yeah, the fact that he sent it at a ridiculous hour made me realise sooner that it meant nothing. Oh no, he will be a charmer on the dating site. He doesn't have to try with me anymore does he.
geegirl Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Blimey. Seems like a few dumpers broke NC on Valentines day/night. Yeah, the fact that he sent it at a ridiculous hour made me realise sooner that it meant nothing. Oh no, he will be a charmer on the dating site. He doesn't have to try with me anymore does he. In any case, I'm proud of you for not responding, especially in knowing how to step back and gauge the reality and motive behind it. You give yourself too little credit, Lost. These things should tell you that you are moving foward and that you are starting to feel confident in your ability to be able to tell right from wrong. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 In any case, I'm proud of you for not responding, especially in knowing how to step back and gauge the reality and motive behind it. You give yourself too little credit, Lost. These things should tell you that you are moving foward and that you are starting to feel confident in your ability to be able to tell right from wrong. Thanks I just remembered how I felt last time I replied. Went on for about a week and was anxious the whole time. Then when it stopped it felt like breaking up all over again.
geegirl Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Thanks I just remembered how I felt last time I replied. Went on for about a week and was anxious the whole time. Then when it stopped it felt like breaking up all over again. Yes, whenever you want to react, always step back and remind yourself of all the other times you have reacted and the following aftermath. That will set you straight.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Yes, whenever you want to react, always step back and remind yourself of all the other times you have reacted and the following aftermath. That will set you straight. You see how confusing an exhausting he is. He said how being in contact isn't doing either of us any good only last week.
geegirl Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 You see how confusing an exhausting he is. He said how being in contact isn't doing either of us any good only last week. Yes, unfortunately this is how they behave. I've gone through this myself on worse scales. You can block his number or you can hit delete and just accept that contact means absolutely nothing rather than let it affect you.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Yes, unfortunately this is how they behave. I've gone through this myself on worse scales. You can block his number or you can hit delete and just accept that contact means absolutely nothing rather than let it affect you. I'm thinking it was an ego boost thing. He wanted to know that I had a crappy Valentines day while he's getting attention from new girls.
destroyed4sho Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Yes, I got a "happy valentines :-)" from mine too. Feels weird to respond back, so strange. It's great that you didn't. From my point of view, I think that the reason he sent that was the same reason my ex sent me that message - the feel guilty and want to soothe their soul a bit. Maybe he was hoping you would say yes, and he would feel less guilty knowing you moved on. If he was hoping for a No or you to ask him,then that is just mean and evil. I dont know what I am feeling right now
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Yes, I got a "happy valentines :-)" from mine too. Feels weird to respond back, so strange. It's great that you didn't. From my point of view, I think that the reason he sent that was the same reason my ex sent me that message - the feel guilty and want to soothe their soul a bit. Maybe he was hoping you would say yes, and he would feel less guilty knowing you moved on. If he was hoping for a No or you to ask him,then that is just mean and evil. I dont know what I am feeling right now Yes, that could have been the reason. Either way, it's selfish. I'm pretty suprised that he even knew it was Valentines day to be honest. I bet there were loads of people expecting a text from their ex yesterday. I didn't want one nor was I expecting one. Count yourself lucky if you didn't get a text!
destroyed4sho Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Also....I just saw that he sent it in the AM...yeah, they do that. I was getting valentines day textes in the AM for 5 years from my ex...it never led to anything.It is just them drunk or being sentimental....the next day they get back to their normal selves...whatever.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Also....I just saw that he sent it in the AM...yeah, they do that. I was getting valentines day textes in the AM for 5 years from my ex...it never led to anything.It is just them drunk or being sentimental....the next day they get back to their normal selves...whatever. Yep. Probably one of very few times that they think of us and act on it. No biggie. Then there's us. Thinking of nothing but them and having to find the will power not to contact them every day.
coastchic Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Lost, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wrote earlier this week how much of a fool I made of myself in front of my ex last weekend. After all the ignoring he did to me, this is what I got last night on Valentine's at 2:45am "Please don't respond. I'm sad and miserable. fyi " Wow!? Really!? I didn't and won't respond. Thank God I found this website, I got my strength to ignore ignore ignore back. No breadcrumbs, baby, keep going strong. You will know in your heart when they truly,if ever, want you back. He will have to beg me after the way I was treated. Good luck!!
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) He text me an hour ago saying 'I thought you had. I had a gut feeling at around 1am' So because I didn't reply he is assuming I had a Valentine! I didn't reply to this one either. But I'm thinking that maybe I should? I'm worried that he's going to get all s****y on me and tell me something I don't want to hear, something like 'Whatever. I got a card, seeing her tomorrow' or something like that, you get my drift? I don't want to reply but I want to protect myself from finding something out that will hurt! Edited February 15, 2013 by LostGirl11
TaraMaiden Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 No. No, no, no. His absolute and total lack of respect for your time, space and heart is breathtakingly astonishing. HE was the one suggesting you guys do not stay in contact - and yet, here he is fishing, casting breadcrumbs, hinting and wanting attention, like some silly, petulant little 5-year-old!! Continue to Ignore. With every text he sends, he demonstrates himself to be weak and pathetic. Be strong, please: For goodness' sake, do not put his feelings and needs above yours! Selfish as it may seem, remember why you are doing this, for yourself....
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