Why do GF's/Fiance's/Wives hate Video Games?

[chucksagent]

And don't come back with "Because it takes time away from them."

 

I thought that at first too, but then I realized, they have no problems with reading. And reading is the EXACT same thing as playing video games. You are away from them, can't interact with them, can take hours at a time.

 

And don't come back with "Because they are stupid and a waste of time."

 

Because women read gossip magazines, and pay $9.00 for a martini, and watch Reality Shows like the Real World, and watch sappy romantic comedies.

 

Upon entering law school, I had to take a reading comprehension text just for placement, and I scored off the charts...Yet I play MUCH more video games then I do read...So I'm not convinced reading BOOKS is the only thing that improves reading comprehension. I think playing a strategy game with lots of dialogue helps, I think reading ESPN.com, NFL.com, MLB.com, CNN.com, i.e. surfing the Web also helps.

 

But I am getting off topic.

 

Let's face it....Playing Video Games and Reading, are IN REALITY, not that different. I realize society has some silent stigma for video games....But why do women REFUSE to think outside the box and realize that there REALLY isn't that much of a difference?

 

Thoughts?

[Lonely Ronin]

It's because video games are considered to be the past time of children not adults.

[Treasa]

Why are you generalizing? I play a lot of video games. Like, A LOT. However, I don't put them ahead of people in my life.

 

My last two boyfriends played video games to the point of ignoring me. My current boyfriend is a gamer, which I love, but he never neglects me. We do things other than play video games.

 

If a lot of girls are complaining that you are putting video games ahead of them, then maybe you are.

 

Otherwise, a lot of females play video games.

[Emilia]

Let's face it....Playing Video Games and Reading, are IN REALITY, not that different. I realize society has some silent stigma for video games....But why do women REFUSE to think outside the box and realize that there REALLY isn't that much of a difference?

 

Thoughts?

 

Very different though it depends on what you read. You don't learn anything from games except gain dexterity in your fingers? Gossip magazines are inane yes but then they don't take long to work your way through them.

 

It would depend on how much you play. I'm sure no-one would begrudge a little bit but from what I have seen and heard a lot of guys play into the early hours and they often don't have other hobbies. While people who read a lot - such as myself - it's usually because we like to inform and educate ourselves. I also attend debate societies for example.

[pbjbear]

I have no problem with a guy playing video games sometimes. Its like another hobby, such as reading, exercising and so on that takes time away from your S.O.

 

I know alot of guys that are "gamers" and take it to the extreme though. "Gamers" play games for hours on end. They also expect their girlfriends to spend time with them by having them watching them play video games. Then they dont give a **** about their girlfriends' hobbies. That does cut into time spent together...I remember guys in college doing this and it was so immature and annoying.

[sweetkiwi]

I don't play video games. Or read stupid Cosmo magazines.

 

My ex fiance played so much that eventually he stopped having sex with me. And I am attractive. He kinda ruined that for me. Now I don't even date guys who claim they are super into video games.

 

My most recent ex plays. But never when I was around. That was his guy time. Or his alone time. He wasn't obsessed. He didn't stop having sex with me in favor of playing FIFA all night and day.

[El Brujo]

Because video games are not fuzzy animals.

 

Simple as that.

[Radu]

 

Let's face it....Playing Video Games and Reading, are IN REALITY, not that different. I realize society has some silent stigma for video games....But why do women REFUSE to think outside the box and realize that there REALLY isn't that much of a difference?

 

Thoughts?

 

There is a huge difference between them.

With reading, your imagination gets stimulated more, while with video games your imagination gets a somewhat backseat.

 

Furthermore, there is such a thing as video-game addiction.

I have rarely heard of reading addiction.

[Drseussgrrl]

Yeah I'll tell you why it's annoying.

 

You sit there zoned out for HOURS, mouth agape, talking into that stupid headset with all the other brain dead morons who are blurting out obscenities to each other and chasing around other soldiers named "Cumdumpster" and the like.

 

Look I get that guys need to be guys sometimes, but FFS get outside and go for a run, go fix the tool shed that's been broken for months, help fold the laundry, go volunteer.

 

It's all about balance. Sure play for a few hours here and there but to spend ALL WEEKEND cooped up unable to tear yourself away from something that gives NOTHING back to you but wasted hours is incredibly unattractive, and lazy.

 

And yes the same could be said for women who spend way too much time watching reality tv or anything else that requires no complicated thought.

[GravityMan]

The problem isn't video games themselves. Video games are great, and depending on the game (there's a lot more out there than just Call of Duty and Madden, ya'll) they can test your mind in different ways, encourage you to use your imagination, tell a decent interactive story, and test your dexterity. This "video games are for kids" perception is so 90s.

 

The problem is when some guys focus so much on playing video games that they neglect other important aspects of their lives. Such as face-to-face socializing with friends outside of the house, giving TLC to their significant others, spending time on other interests, exploring new curiosities, exercising and job/career/education.

 

Folks who play games in moderation are usually better off. Same with any other hobby.

 

Blame the dude, not the game.

[man_in_the_box]

There is a huge difference between them.

With reading, your imagination gets stimulated more, while with video games your imagination gets a somewhat backseat.

 

You're not very aware of the creative things one can do within various computer games. Not every computergame is walking around at lightning speed killing random opponents as fast as possible with as much gore as possibly neither is every book something that stimulates your imagination in a way to positively train it.

 

Most people will play mindless computer games and/or read crappy books.

[serial muse]

Why are you generalizing? I play a lot of video games. Like, A LOT. However, I don't put them ahead of people in my life.

 

My last two boyfriends played video games to the point of ignoring me. My current boyfriend is a gamer, which I love, but he never neglects me. We do things other than play video games.

 

If a lot of girls are complaining that you are putting video games ahead of them, then maybe you are.

 

Otherwise, a lot of females play video games.

 

This pretty much sums it up for me too. Agree with all of the above.

[chucksagent]

man in the box - NAILED it - anyone who thinks video games are still Mario jumping pipe to pipe haven't played in a while...Lol. And as far as books being MORE imaginative, I couldn't disagree more.

 

Most RPG and Strategy games require VERY intense critical thinking, reasoning, and logic skills. Take it from someone who scored so high on their LSAT they GOT money to to law school, I know the difference between a logic game and a button masher when I see one. And you guys aren't totally wrong, there ARE button mashers...But even Call of Duty (which I DO NOT play cause I'm not a shooter fan), requires team-work, team building skills, working with others, quick thinking, quick decision making skills, determination, resiliency, etc. And I don't like that game, so I have no dog in that fight. Lol. They recently did an interview with a CEO of a HUGE company (forget which) and he said he would hire the leader of a 200 person guild on World of Warcraft before an average MBA. Because of all the skills required to manage a successful guild in Warcraft. It ain't the 90's anymore lol.

 

And as far as the "too much of anything is bad." Well that is common sense. Lol. Because LITERALLY too much of anything is a bad thing. But for example, my fiance when we first started dating was in community theatre...It was 4-5 nights a week for 4-5 hours and when play got close it was 5 hours on a Saturday....ZERO COMPENSATION OR PAY...For free...For fun...But nobody would brgrudge her for doing that activity. Even though I don't care what ANYONE says - for a FREE/FUN activity that is FAR too much time. I'm sorry it is.

 

Personally, I play video games usually every other day for 30 minutes to 1 hour 30 minutes. Some weeks I play ZERO minutes a week. Some weeks I play every day for an hour. But I can promise I have NEVER played 6 days a week for 4 hours a day like she did with Community Theatre.

 

I gotta call BS here guys...I really do...It's 2013, there is nothing wrong with re-configuring common stereotypes...I really think an unfair stigma exists toward video games. Even when I only play for like 30 minutes, my fiance will crack a little joke. She 90% of the time won't care...but it's little stuff like that.

 

OR HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!

 

You people are like "grow up video gamers, blah blah blah, don't be rude."

 

What about all these morons on their cell phones 24/7 - playing words with friends while at dinner with 5 real life friends in person...I never play video games when I have guests over unless they are playing too. I just think this country is fill of idiots and hypocrits who don't think before they speak. I have seen the SAME girls and even guys too who knock video games, constantly be on their cell phones when entertaining...or plop their laptop or I-Pad on their lap when in the company of people. And there is NO STIGMA about that crap cause everyone does it.

 

Don't you guys agree that's crappy?

 

BTW: I have tons of hobbies and have a busy job...my fiance and I always entertain, we have very active social lives, so none of that applies to me and she and her friends still make comments/jokes about men who play video games.

[Imported]

It is a waste of time. Maybe if you get on, play for an hour or less every now and again, it'd be OK. But it almost never is just that for too many guys.I have seen many guys that it seems to be their life. Literally. It's a hobby? I prefer hobbies that returns something to me.

 

Really though, you can do what you want. I really don't care. I know guys that play video games, after a certain point....they just become a total waste for being sociable, never mind competition for the women I want. So it works out great for me.

[Drseussgrrl]

man in the box - NAILED it - anyone who thinks video games are still Mario jumping pipe to pipe haven't played in a while...Lol. And as far as books being MORE imaginative, I couldn't disagree more.

 

Most RPG and Strategy games require VERY intense critical thinking, reasoning, and logic skills. Take it from someone who scored so high on their LSAT they GOT money to to law school, I know the difference between a logic game and a button masher when I see one. And you guys aren't totally wrong, there ARE button mashers...But even Call of Duty (which I DO NOT play cause I'm not a shooter fan), requires team-work, team building skills, working with others, quick thinking, quick decision making skills, determination, resiliency, etc. And I don't like that game, so I have no dog in that fight. Lol. They recently did an interview with a CEO of a HUGE company (forget which) and he said he would hire the leader of a 200 person guild on World of Warcraft before an average MBA. Because of all the skills required to manage a successful guild in Warcraft. It ain't the 90's anymore lol.

 

And as far as the "too much of anything is bad." Well that is common sense. Lol. Because LITERALLY too much of anything is a bad thing. But for example, my fiance when we first started dating was in community theatre...It was 4-5 nights a week for 4-5 hours and when play got close it was 5 hours on a Saturday....ZERO COMPENSATION OR PAY...For free...For fun...But nobody would brgrudge her for doing that activity. Even though I don't care what ANYONE says - for a FREE/FUN activity that is FAR too much time. I'm sorry it is.

 

Personally, I play video games usually every other day for 30 minutes to 1 hour 30 minutes. Some weeks I play ZERO minutes a week. Some weeks I play every day for an hour. But I can promise I have NEVER played 6 days a week for 4 hours a day like she did with Community Theatre.

 

I gotta call BS here guys...I really do...It's 2013, there is nothing wrong with re-configuring common stereotypes...I really think an unfair stigma exists toward video games. Even when I only play for like 30 minutes, my fiance will crack a little joke. She 90% of the time won't care...but it's little stuff like that.

 

OR HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!

 

You people are like "grow up video gamers, blah blah blah, don't be rude."

 

What about all these morons on their cell phones 24/7 - playing words with friends while at dinner with 5 real life friends in person...I never play video games when I have guests over unless they are playing too. I just think this country is fill of idiots and hypocrits who don't think before they speak. I have seen the SAME girls and even guys too who knock video games, constantly be on their cell phones when entertaining...or plop their laptop or I-Pad on their lap when in the company of people. And there is NO STIGMA about that crap cause everyone does it.

 

Don't you guys agree that's crappy?

 

BTW: I have tons of hobbies and have a busy job...my fiance and I always entertain, we have very active social lives, so none of that applies to me and she and her friends still make comments/jokes about men who play video games.

 

Whoah dude. Simma down. Getting pretty defensive here of your video games.

 

Nobody is saying they're inherently bad. Just don't waste your life away on them like a lot of people get sucked into. Simple.

[chucksagent]

Lol. But why are video games a waste of life, and...

 

-Facebook isnt

-Words with friends isnt

-Internet isnt

-Youtube isnt

-Cell Phones arent

-laptops arent

-ipads arent

-reality shows arent

-community theatre isnt

-movies arent

-building model planes arent

-bowling isnt

-darts isnt

-going clubbing isnt

-smoking weed isnt

-drinking alcohol isnt

 

Lol. Like honestly look at that list. Try to think like an alien from outter space. With no preconceived notions about "What is a waste of time."

 

Like are those things SOOOO CRITICAL?!?! Lol.

[Radu]

You're not very aware of the creative things one can do within various computer games. Not every computergame is walking around at lightning speed killing random opponents as fast as possible with as much gore as possibly neither is every book something that stimulates your imagination in a way to positively train it.

 

Most people will play mindless computer games and/or read crappy books.

 

Have played :

- tycoon transporter deluxe since '98, i now sometimes still fire up OpenTTD and find fun ways of abusing other players

- Fallout series, the original ones; but also 3 and Vegas

- X-COM Apocalypse/Interceptor

- Jagged Alliance series

- Seven Kingdoms 1 and 2, and Lords of the Realm 2

- X2 series

- i have played the Quake series since it started, and the CS since 1.0

- even some MMORPG's

- i currently play a browser game just for the hell of abusing a player that is technically 30 times bigger than myself and in an alliance [i'm all alone]

- i have currently installed [on Windows 7] Imperium Galactica 2, Jagged Alliance 2 Wildfire, OpenTTD, Lords of the Realm 2.

Many of the above games reward playing outside the box, which i still love to do [kinda like what the subject of the webcomic Erfworld is].

 

I was an avid fiction and history reader, and still read [mostly biographies and psychology now]. Quite frankly, something interesting to read for me hardly qualifies as 'work'.

When my parents dropped me with my grandparents during the summer after 1st grade, it was either do chores or pillage my grandfather's library ... guess which one i did.

 

Reading something [including here on the forums] means you receive information through just 7% [more or less] of the overall possible incoming flux of information. That's because you can't perceive tone that well, and you can't sure as hell perceive body language.

So you have to make up the rest with your imagination, imagination that in men is 2.5 times smaller than it is in women [the part of the brain that handles this] ... so we might as well practice with it.

 

On the other hand, in shows or in videogames [the more modern ones with better and better graphics], your imagination takes a backseat, you get hyponotised by it [totally natural], without actually having to fire it up.

[Estate]

Is this a serious question?

 

It's because adult guys still being obsessed with video games screams "laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!!"

 

So what, the girl probably has things you're not interested in. But adult guys still playing video games and pokemon and all this other crap? It's kids stuff, grow up. A real man with his **** together doesn't even have time for kids video games so unless you kind a girl who likes them too, most girls (and guys for that matter) aren't gonna see you spending your weekend playing world of warcraft nd say "Hey, there goes a successful guy!"

[tman666]

Meh.

 

Like most things, I think video games can be fine in context and moderation.

 

I view them as unproductive entertainment, nothing more. Some argue that they're better than watching TV because you have to interact and make decisions and blah blah blah. But in my mind, they're still unproductive because the time spent doesn't translate very well (or at all in most cases) to real-life assets (at least in my experience as someone who has spent plenty of hours playing them in the past).

 

The major drawback I see from video games over TV is that many video games that guys play (first person shooters, RPGs, etc.) tend to "suck you in". These kinds of games especially tend to remove the player completely out of "being present" in real life. I think this phenomenon is what really grinds the gears of relationship partners.

 

FWIW, I get the same aggravation when my girl is absorbed with something on her phone and I'm trying to talk with her. I can only imagine how P.O.'d I'd be if that same behavior lasted for 3 hours every night after work.

Edited February 12, 2013 by tman666

[chucksagent]

I think a big problem in our country today is "Child Worship." And I recently discovered, it's now become "Spouse Worship" too.

 

Like when I was a kid, I'd go outside, find another kid who liked the same stuff I liked, and we'd hang out. Maybe build a fort, maybe throw the baseball around, maybe try to find another friend to play with.

 

Now, there are play dates.

 

When I was bold in school, my teacher called home, and I was in BIG trouble; no questions asked. Now a teacher calls home, and the parent explains to the teacher "That can't possible be my little Jimmy, he is an angel."

 

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 20 and practically FINISHED with college. Most of my friends had one for a few years at that point. I have multiple 7 year old relatives with I-Phones.

 

Now it's carrying over to spouses. There is this new thing where every waking moment needs to be with each other. Gotta watch the same shows...Gotta have the same hobbies...I even have friends who have to WAIT for a time when them and their spouse are together to watch "their shows" together on demand. And if the guy watches it BEFORE she gets home, even if willing to watch again, he will get crap for it. LOL. What does it matter if he's willing to watch again!?!? And ok if you have a handful of favorite shows, but EVERY Show - that is just insane.

 

AND I AGREE 100% with the last poster - That it isn't productive time. But neither is ANY of the stuff I listed above. Bowling doesnt reward me...Darts doesnt...community theatre doesnt....Facebook doesnt....MTV Real World doesnt....but nobody looks down on those activities?

 

Another person who just posted "You can't be successful and play video games." That is ridiculous. I drive a sports car, have an 18 room house, 4 flat screen televisions, 73 inch, 55inch, 2 50 inches, a man cave, an entertaining room that is like 36X36, 2 living rooms, 2 kitchens...my wife is hot...I am in house legal counsel at a company AND have my own side law practice...We entertain mutual friends EVERY sunday for board games and good television at night...we are always the couple who holds parties for halloween, NYE, xmas, etc.

 

So trust me, I have a happy life, which to me, is a successful life. I have great friends and family, very secure in my job, and I have enough toys to keep any man happy.

 

My question is, if I am bringing home the bacon, work hard, we have a good life, why do I not get **** for reading, going on Facebook, playing words with friends, playing chess, golfing, watching stupid TV shows....YET, I get crap for playing video games? I'm not some guy playing 5 hours a day every day lol no marathon sessions! hahaha

 

The question was simple - why out of ALL the wasteful activities that we ALL participate in on the day to day, does video games get BRANDED with that stigma?

 

And don't say "Cause it's a childs game." Cause guess what, so is Football and Baseball....And we all know how that goes!

[ASG]

Personally I love video games. I can't play them because I lose myself in them, but yeah... have nothing at all against them, at all!

 

Obviously if I was dating someone that wouldn't make time for me because of the video games... that would be an issue, but other than that? I'll probably join in.

 

And why does an adult playing video games scream lame??? That is so judgmental! It's exactly like saying that people who like sci fi/fantasy are lame. It's just not true. It might not be your cuppa tea, but it's not lame!

[Drseussgrrl]

I think a big problem in our country today is "Child Worship." And I recently discovered, it's now become "Spouse Worship" too.

 

Like when I was a kid, I'd go outside, find another kid who liked the same stuff I liked, and we'd hang out. Maybe build a fort, maybe throw the baseball around, maybe try to find another friend to play with.

 

Now, there are play dates.

 

When I was bold in school, my teacher called home, and I was in BIG trouble; no questions asked. Now a teacher calls home, and the parent explains to the teacher "That can't possible be my little Jimmy, he is an angel."

 

I didn't get a cell phone until I was 20 and practically FINISHED with college. Most of my friends had one for a few years at that point. I have multiple 7 year old relatives with I-Phones.

 

Now it's carrying over to spouses. There is this new thing where every waking moment needs to be with each other. Gotta watch the same shows...Gotta have the same hobbies...I even have friends who have to WAIT for a time when them and their spouse are together to watch "their shows" together on demand. And if the guy watches it BEFORE she gets home, even if willing to watch again, he will get crap for it. LOL. What does it matter if he's willing to watch again!?!? And ok if you have a handful of favorite shows, but EVERY Show - that is just insane.

 

AND I AGREE 100% with the last poster - That it isn't productive time. But neither is ANY of the stuff I listed above. Bowling doesnt reward me...Darts doesnt...community theatre doesnt....Facebook doesnt....MTV Real World doesnt....but nobody looks down on those activities?

 

Another person who just posted "You can't be successful and play video games." That is ridiculous. I drive a sports car, have an 18 room house, 4 flat screen televisions, 73 inch, 55inch, 2 50 inches, a man cave, an entertaining room that is like 36X36, 2 living rooms, 2 kitchens...my wife is hot...I am in house legal counsel at a company AND have my own side law practice...We entertain mutual friends EVERY sunday for board games and good television at night...we are always the couple who holds parties for halloween, NYE, xmas, etc.

 

So trust me, I have a happy life, which to me, is a successful life. I have great friends and family, very secure in my job, and I have enough toys to keep any man happy.

 

My question is, if I am bringing home the bacon, work hard, we have a good life, why do I not get **** for reading, going on Facebook, playing words with friends, playing chess, golfing, watching stupid TV shows....YET, I get crap for playing video games? I'm not some guy playing 5 hours a day every day lol no marathon sessions! hahaha

 

The question was simple - why out of ALL the wasteful activities that we ALL participate in on the day to day, does video games get BRANDED with that stigma?

 

And don't say "Cause it's a childs game." Cause guess what, so is Football and Baseball....And we all know how that goes!

 

If you're so successful and rich why do you give two rats asses what we on LS think of your playing video games?

 

I think you doth protest too much.

[ThaWholigan]

I remember playing Final Fantasy 7 for 10 days straight in my much younger days . At my dads of course - my mother banned video games most of the time so we were NEVER allowed to play them because she hated them. She literally despaired when I bought a PS1 with my own money for my 14th birthday. And I was still behind by then - everyone had PS2s.

 

I still have my old Mega Drive .

[Treasa]

I was playing LOTRO last night and I kept getting mauled by orcs because several friends and I were in Mumble and we were trying to help one guy with his relationship issues and I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing in the game.

[serial muse]

OP, you're posing this as a question for society at large, I guess because you're feeling defensive - but really, this isn't a question for society at large, because there are many different opinions out there (including, as has been pointed out, that it's also a stereotype to say women don't like these games). Who cares what we think? We're not going to give you crap on a daily/weekly/whatever basis about your lifestyle.

 

The only person you need to have this conversation with is your fiancee.

 

Have you?

 

Does she take your feelings seriously? Because if not, then that's kind of a more pressing issue than whether strangers on the internet validate your choice of time-wasting pastime.

 

By the way, I don't think anyone would say that FB isn't a waste of time. I'm pretty sure the entire world is on the same page about that.