treezy Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Okay I've posted my story at this link http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372512-new-miss-my-ex before and I'm just really confused as to whether my ex will call me. I'm not exactly looking for a reconciliation, it would be good if we could start a new and improved one, but there are so many questions in my mind and things I need to say to him. I don't want to go back on my word and break NC though. Proud, I know, but pride's the only thing I have left. So yes, I guess I'm kind of hoping he might reach out. If you were my ex, would you call me? If so, when? If not, should I reach out first? Or should I just not break NC and leave it as that?
Author treezy Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) Thanks for replying, I'll take your vote as a 'no he's not calling' in this case? Edited February 9, 2013 by treezy grammar
Author treezy Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 It's more of a survey I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have used the word 'vote'. Anyway I'm not thinking properly either. Half my mind is on my ex, and the other half is plain tired. Thanks for responding nonetheless!
Waz Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Dear OP it's too soon to be thinking about that. How much time since your break up has passed? a week? a week and a half? It's nothing. Maintain NC as much as it's needed. The first thing you have to do, is to detach emotionally from your ex, so you can think the whole situation clearly and decide if it's worth of another shot. And to be detached emotionally, requires some time more than a week, you will feel it when you are over him. A week, isn't enough to just really miss someone (if we assume you are not needy/cling etc.). After that, if you still think that this relationship has potentials, you can go on. Since you have moved on, it will not be difficult at all even if your ex doesn't want to be with you this time. The good thing is that you initiated the break up, because he was distant etc. So you made he right decision. Don't stress it, let the time treat your feelings. It's too soon to be thinking anything about the relationship. For now, think about you, love and give time to your self. 1
gonefishin Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I don't think this is just black or white ..yes or no .. It depends a lot on his character like I know myself I'd be a real Sucker for love and probably would call once the initial anger or whatever passes .. On the other hand he could be a totally decent guy and may want to call but honestly respects your wishes too much to "annoy" you pleading for another chance... Time will tell.. It may only be a week I know it seems like a lifetime so far .. But use your time to think clearly.. Are you sure you want him back because you love him and want him for keeps Or Do you want him back just cause right now your lonely without him.. I'd spend your time on you right now not wondering if he will call.... But remember as always what's meant for you will not pass you !!!
destroyed4sho Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I think you should contact him saying that if he wants to be back with you that he knows what to do. After that go NC.
Author treezy Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Thanks guys for all your response! To mutantswordfish, I haven't been drinking since I met my ex but I made plans to go down to the bar again with one of the girls next week. I hope I don't get a hangover. To Waz, now it's about 8 days since the split. I am calmer now, but feel like I shot him down that day when he suggested a timeout instead of ending the relationship. I just don't want to regret anything in future. I am confused as to why he didn't call to ask me again. It makes me feel like he doesn't really care and was merely saying. To gonefishin, my ex is pretty much an aloof person, tends to keep private things to himself. Maybe you're right and I should take some time to think about it first. I just don't want to put it off for too long and call him up one month later, and have him say something like wtf who are you. To destroyed4sho, I thought of doing just that.
MyAngel Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 If you ended it, I am of the opinion it's up to you to make it right if that's what you desire. He already asked for a timeout instead of a break, you said no. Why would he want to get hurt and humility himself by asking again? If you want to hear from him, the ball is in your court. Good luck.
cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Well, I have a different spin on this particular case. You broke up with him because he was distant and wasn't thinking of you as a long term partner, correct? Meaning, you wanted a closer more concrete relationship but without a proposal until he was ready. So basically you wanted more and he wasn't willing to give it, so you broke up with him. I did the same thing. Now, if the person you dumped, really wanted you, he/she would break down your door to get you back and to let you know how much they cared. Neither your's nor mine did that. They checked out. As much as that hurts, they checked out for their own reasons and nothing you can do or say will change their mind. So, my vote is to leave him alone. Stay no contact and try and heal your heart. Eventually, you will heal and be better for it. I'm hoping for the same thing. 1
Author treezy Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 To MyAngel, the funny thing is he said he would reach out for me, but he never did and that is making me think twice about calling him. It makes me wonder if he stopped caring. If that's the case, I'll be hurting myself all over again if I call him. I don't know if that's worth the risk. To cdt76, he did say he thought this was working and that he believed that it was worth a try but his actions, or the lack of them, seem to prove otherwise so I told him I didn't think it will work anymore. I admit I didn't care to listen at that point of time either, but he too didn't bother to persuade me further so I really don't know if it's still worth it. Thanks for your replies.
MyAngel Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I don't think he would have stopped caring. I'm just going off the way I feel as what has happened to me: I haven't contacted AT ALL since I got dumped and it's not because I don't care. I was told not to. So I haven't. I still care. I still miss her. I'm an idiot but I do. You can't simply stop caring so quickly, if you do you probably never really cared in the first place. He may be scared of reaching out even if he said he would.
Author treezy Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Can I ask about why she broke it off with you? I broke it off with my ex because he was acting really distant so I don't know if he already checked out of the relationship. That's why I don't know if I should call. I'm at a safe place now and I don't want to go through all that pain again. He might still have something for me, but I don't know if it's worth the risk to find out.
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