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One week of NC and struggling


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Posted

I ended a one year relationship with my ex boyfriend last week.

 

I told him I'll be going NC, and that we cannot be friends, because that'd be too hard for me. I said I will not be responding to him too, but he told me he will still try to reach out for me. It's been one week and he hasn't tried to reach out. Talk about more false hopes. I think I would prefer if he said he's not going to talk to me anymore.

 

It has been a difficult week. There are still so many questions in my mind I need to ask him. I guess I shouldn't harp on them anymore, should I? As the days go by, I become more certain that he is never going to look for me again. I don't know if I can even pull through this NC thing. I might give in and call him. Tips on how to cope, anyone?

Posted

You're the one who told him you wouldn't contact him or respond to him, so why are you taking it so hard? He probably will not contact you as you said you wouldn't respond, so why would he bother?

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Posted

I know. But if he hadn't said he would continue reaching out to me, I probably wouldn't feel this bad.

Posted

Yeah I know, but people say things or maybe he is waiting for you to contact him? Us girls, like to play the waiting game and see if he will call us first but believe me they do the same thing, and in your situation it seems like this could be the case. :bunny:

 

Maybe.

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Posted

You think so? But I'm just afraid that he might not respond if I reach out to him. Can't risk suffering another blow. Frankly, we didn't have a bad breakup. It was amicable, I was crying though. He hasn't tried to reach out since that day.

Posted

Yeah, I think you should call him and see to meet up with him so you can put everything on the plate. If it wasn't a bad breakup I don't see why he wouldn't respond. I think he doesnt want to contact you first is because you said you wouldn't respond to him, so he doesn't want to be left hanging. I think you should go for it.

Posted

Just read your story. Him becoming distant and cold is not a good sign, something is going on. However, I think you should give him a call, maybe he has thought about everything this past week as well. You know the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Give it a try, I don't see why he would blow you off..but if things fail, which I don't think they will .. you should stop with everything. You will never know if you don't make that call.. how about you wait a few more days.

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Posted

I don't really know. I drafted a text to him but I discarded it because I highly doubt he is going to reply and I cannot suffer another setback. I know I sound really contradictory right now but I really don't know. I want to reach back out to him, but I'm afraid. Frankly, that's also why I told him I'm cutting him off. It's just too painful for me but I don't know if I'll regret anything in the future so I'm in a dilemma. To call or not to call?

Posted

If you have something on your chest... you need to let it out. Think thoroughly about everything, about the good and bad, highs and lows. Were you happy in the relationship or just missing having someone by your side? Maybe you are feeling lonely at the moment, because you were used to having that person around you and someone caring about you. Think about this.

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Posted

My ex did ask me if I have anything to say that night, but I wasn't in the mental state to say anything I just cried and cried. Then he said if you'd like to keep it to yourself then okay. And he left it there. I don't know.

 

I believe there was once I was really happy, but at the end of the relationship I was disgruntled and honestly, a little resentful. I still love him, and I would try again if he can promise me he's not hurting me again.

 

I don't know. Someone else at the other thread said I should tell him to look for me if he wants to get back together and leave it there. I'm just confused.

Posted

You can never be sure how he will act towards you, you can't jump inside someones head and make them think differently. I think if you were feeling that he was cold and distant and weren't happy, then why stay in the relationship? and that is exactly what you did, you left. If he didn't want you to leave he would have said something, you know? He would have at least let you know something. Like I said before, you are just probably having a post-breakup symptom; feeling empty and lonely, remembering mostly the good times from the relationship because you are feeling at your lowest right now, so our brain tends to block out the bad things from the relationship.

 

Maybe his feelings have changed, and you can notice that he has become distant and it isn't bothering him at all that you ended things, and this is eating you up.

 

Perhaps you should just forget about it, don't contact him at all. Show him that you don't care, if he doesn't... why would you? Be strong.

  • Author
Posted

Think he did tell me the reason he was acting aloof and said he was naturally aloof and that he's not at the level of like marriage yet. Don't remember proposing to him though, and don't see how that's a reason to be cold. Wasn't really paying attention that day either. And he did ask me to do timeout instead of ending it but I didn't want to. Too much false hope.

 

But yes I agree if he really wanted this he would be calling or at least try to persuade me the next day or something.

 

I don't know. At the rate I'm procrastinating, by the time I do end up making a decision to call, he'd probably be like wtf who is this? I guess I'll leave it up to fate.

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