! My son won't stop lying.

[Clep]

I had that problem with my son when he was about that age. Yes it is normal, but not acceptable. Lying is created via a lack of skills. He has not learned to meet his needs in ways that bring the desired result so he does what he feels he has to and then lies about it later on.

 

When he hits his brother he needs you to intervene and discuss what he was trying to accomplish at that very moment. Then brainstorm with him other means of getting his needs met. Notice everything he is doing well and capitalize on that. Catch him telling you the truth with even the smallest things and provide praise and encouragement. Let him know that when he just told the truth, he created more trust between the two of you.

 

Adults lie all the time and they are supposed to have it together. Don't take it personally. He needs guidance and the space to make mistakes and celebrate each one as a stepping stone to higher learning. It's okay if he makes the same mistake over and over. Even adults do that.

 

Provide consequences that are reasonable and fit within what he has done.

 

I bought The Total Transformation Program and it changed our lives and the way we communicate and parent. Our ten year old doesn't lie often anymore and when he does he catches himself and tells the truth after thinking about a solution for the next time. Then he comes to me and lets me know why he lied, what he can do next time and says sorry. That is the lesson I have wanted him to learn. Eventually he won't feel like he has to lie at all, but right now he is still learning and that is all I can ask.

[tbf]

What specific details would you like to know?? I told you all the details there's nothing else going on...I'm not hiding anything

What is your son going into counseling for? While you might see it as a completely different issue, his lying could be another aspect of the same issue.