NM09 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 It's been two weeks since my boyfriend suddenly broke up with me. You can read the whole story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/369394-my-boyfriend-broke-up-me-last-night .I'm still so devastated and I can't get over it. I feel like what he said about being depressed was all a lie to get rid of me. He seems to be doing perfectly fine. I've been doing things with friends and going out to get my mind off of things, and I've even been talking to another guy, but it doesn't feel right. He hasn't talked to me since we broke up, with no goodbye or anything. But if there was no goodbye, that has to be a sign that he'll come back, right? I can't stop thinking about him. I can't be in another relationship with anyone but him. I want him to come back so badly. I'm so upset, and angry, and confused. I just don't understand how one day, I was everything to him, and now I don't exist. I haven't been the same person since this happened, and I just keep hoping and praying that he'll come back soon. I don't think I can take it much longer..I miss my best friend.
KatZee Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 But if there was no goodbye, that has to be a sign that he'll come back, right? I can't stop thinking about him. I can't be in another relationship with anyone but him. I want him to come back so badly. I'm so upset, and angry, and confused. I just don't understand how one day, I was everything to him, and now I don't exist. I haven't been the same person since this happened, and I just keep hoping and praying that he'll come back soon. I don't think I can take it much longer..I miss my best friend. No. This doesn't mean he's coming back. It means he's a coward. It's been 2 weeks so its expected that you're still hurting but don't throw yourself at other guys trying to move on, it won't work. I know you want him back so desperately, but you have to look at it like this... why do you want someone who threw you out like yesterday's trash and now acts like you're not even a human being? He got rid of you and has moved on no questions asked. Didn't even care to give you closure, he just up and left. That's a best friend to you? That's how you treat YOUR best friends? This guy isn't a best friend. I wouldn't even put him on a friend level. Don't hang on to this hope that he's going to "come back soon." If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't have left in the first place. Keep doing what you're doing, force yourself to go out and have fun with your friends, but start trying to take the focus off of him. Direct it onto yourself. Really see him for what he is. Don't idealize him or keep thinking he's some amazingly perfect guy. He's not, and the way he left is super crappy.
316 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 He seems to be doing perfectly fine. You're lying to yourself just so you can pity yourself more. Based on what you've said in your other thread he sounds very messed up and confused about life. There is a HUGE difference between "seeming" fine actually BEING fine. But if there was no goodbye, that has to be a sign that he'll come back, right? Nope. Never try to make too much sense out of a break up. Break ups are IRRATIONAL... Most of the time they just don't make sense to the dumper/dumpee no matter how you twist it. Only person who can truly provide closure to the relationship is YOU. I can't be in another relationship with anyone but him. This is also a lie and you know it. People have been able to move on from closer/longer relationships. You're no different. You just need time. I just don't understand how one day, I was everything to him, and now I don't exist. Yet another lie. There was clearly something going on in the relationship that caused him to break up with you. If you were TRULY everything to him, you'd still be his. So to be clear, you THOUGHT you were everything to him, when in reality he probably mentally checked out of the relationship a long time ago. I don't think I can take it much longer.. More lies and more pity. You're stronger than this. If break ups killed people then we'd all be dead. You're going to be hurting for a while, but you're going to get through it. Like I said earlier you just need time... Some exercise, therapy, and friends will also help but above all you just need time. I miss my best friend. This is natural, but unfortunately he doesn't want you in his life anymore for whatever reason, so it's time for you to move on. He was the one who wanted you out of his life, so kindly show him the door and let him regret the day that he broke up with you. 1
Hopeful79 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I read your previous post. So you are excited for prom - this tells me you are 17 or 18? Honey, you are still young - I know, not what you want to hear. But the thing is, so is your ex. He is hanging out with a different crowd, a crowd that sounds like will lead him down the wrong path - but it's his choice. What you need to do is take care of you. It's hard, that's for sure, especially the way he didn't really say good-bye. But this tells you a lot about him. Is this the type of man you want to be with? I hope not. You are missing the idea of him, you are missing the good times, but there were probably bad times. How long were you with him by the way and was this your first relationship? With Valentine's Day coming up it can be extra painful. Can you get together with friends? Or spoil yourself! There's no rules you can't be your own Valentine :-) Chin up, stay strong. Don't contact him.
Author NM09 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 How long were you with him by the way and was this your first relationship? We were "officially together" for three months, but we dated for a few months before making it official. I have been in a few other relationships, but this was my most serious one, and the most painful. I'm trying really hard to move on, but it is really difficult.
Hopeful79 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 It's going to hurt for awhile. Heartbreak is never easy. You need to let yourself heal and to do that you need to move on. Easier said than done. Take it day by day, moment by moment. Let yourself cry ( but never around him. ).
BarbecueMan666 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 I replied in your initial post about this, but am going to write again now. You're feeling lonely, sad and probably crippled. We all go through this, and it's totally normal. Don't think yourself weak, the more pain you feel now, the more you endure it and not necessarily work with it, but accept that you're going to hurt, the better you'll be in the long run. May sound weird, but it having this strong of an impact on you shows you're a loving, caring person which are some of the most admirable qualities someone could wish for. As for not being able to take it anymore. That's a reaction we all have. It drifts in and out, can be weekly, can be monthly, what ever. Just realize this is a phase you go through. Getting through this phase, learning to cope with the pain now are things you have to, and must do. If the you 9 months from now came to you and told you, "You're going to be very happy, with a boyfriend who loves you, is more handsome than you possibly could have hoped for, and wants to be with you and only you" Would you be happier? I'm sure you would. Time feels as if it's stopped for you, and it feels as if you'll be alone, or atleast settle for something not even remotely as good as your ex. And I'm going to tell you, the reason things don't work out is because they're not going to work out. The idea of having a "special someone" is something that's made romantic movies and such cool. But the reality is you get on with people you get on with, there will be others, and they will be better for you. I don't recommend throwing yourself at young lads, I did something very similar with a young lady (I'm a fellow) - And the only thing I felt afterwards was regret, pain and sadness, as I literally did it 2 weeks after my ex and I broke up. Learn to be happy with you, make decisions because you want to do them, distract yourself, don't talk about it because you think you should, take about it when you really feel you need to, but if it's just that little dark tick in the back of your mind, see how you do without talking about it. You have to find what works for you.
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