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****ty roommates! Warning, blasphemy ensues >(

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Actually god damn **** this. This house is a piece of **** that can suck my balls, and Christine can suck my fat cock also. I hope she gets as many pubes stuck in her teeth as the amount of hairs my stuff is now covered in thanks to her and her ****-eating cats.


I was just sat in bed when suddenly the power mysteriously went out, lights, internet signal and all- so it couldn't be just the one area of the house at least. I waited a few moments unsure of whether Chris was still about and aware of any situations. Upon further investigation past my crap-covered (thanks partly to the cat) floor with my mobile as a guiding light, I discover the whole house is bereft of power, heat, light, washing machine, kettle, oven, all useless? Perhaps the main fuse has blown, but Chris is nowhere to be seen and she hasn't made any movement, so she must be in bed and not noticed. Well I certainly have no idea how to reset the fuse or even where the box is, I've only been here two months! So I navigate my way back up the stairs to knock on her door.


I'm greeted with a disgruntled sigh and a blunt WHAT? from the other side. I say,


'Chris there's no power, the whole house has gone?'


The first response is a string of curses,


'****... Oh, ****, oh God. You're kidding?

(No I'm not)

I actually heard drilling outside on the street. Oh, ****.


God.. ****!'


Then no more response than that.. I expect her to come out to find out what's going on, but no indication of movement inside.. is it maybe not that important?








Nope. Must not be.


But I for one can't stand around now that I am also aware of the distinct sound of concrete drilling some way down the street outside, at this time especially, so I pull on my slippers, making quite some obvious noise that I am about to leave the house, out of curiosity for when Chris will actually come to check the situation for herself.


(Spoiler alert: she doesn't.)



I step out onto the street and gaze up towards the direction of a bright light and heavy industrial drilling, and I notice there isn't a single light in any of the houses on our row for as far as I can make out. I tentatively make my way over, conscious of my state of dress (thin cotton pj trousers, scruffy slipper boots, baggy sweater, disheveled hair and no make-up or underwear to speak of), shielding my eyes from the glare of the flood light as I approach. I quickly make out the forms of four or five workmen in flourescent jackets, sectioned in with portable construction barriers around a gaping hole in the pavement that definitely wasn't there a couple of hours ago. Out of it they were cutting a very thick grey cable. One of the workmen saw me as I got close and came to greet me over the barrier- I said to him over the din,


'The power on the street has gone-- is that normal??'


'No' he says, 'This cable underground has blown up so we're digging it out, we need to replace it straight away. The power probably won't be back for a good few hours!'


'Woah, ok, thanks' I say curiously before turning to jog back down the street to the house. Not much more I can say there. I head back inside and lock the door, take off my slippers, go up the stairs to Chris's door again.


'Hey Chris--'


'I just went down the street to see what was happening, there's a load of workmen there, apparantely a cable has blown up underground and we won't have any power for a good few hours. They're drilling into the street.'

'****. Oh, my God, oh Jesus Christ I can't believe it

(yes thanks we got that before)

I knew I could hear drilling going on.'

(..OK sure Sherlock...)






'Ahem. So, OK then.'

(...You're ****ing welcome by the way??)


Pointing my mobile phone I fumble into my room and loudly shut the door. If that's all there is to it on her part then quite frankly go **** yourself madam. I can't take being denied basic essential facilities in my own home and not even getting any sign of concern from the woman who is sub-letting the room to me when she's on the other side of a ****ing door. Regardless of if there's no helping the situation when it's in the energy regulator's hands, there was not even any attempt to at least give me the instructions I needed to reset the fusebox before I found out it wasn't just our house!!

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That sucks.


I used to live with two female medical student roommates who had between them a dog, four cats, a bird, and lots of things that might have been other dogs but were probably just hair tumbleweeds from the dog that I'm actually sure was a dog.


One of the cats had been rescued from some kind of testing facility, and had no eyes, and it would do weird **** like stand on the stairs in the pitch black waiting for you to trip.


It creeped me out so I would close my door at night after an exhaustive search for the cat, but inevitably, I would wake up at some odd hour and the cat with no eyes would be sitting on my chest staring at me...with no eyes.

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