cerridwen Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Oh man, LT, I just saw this thread. What a terrible shock! I never know what to say in these situations other than Im so sorry. Please forgive this inelegant post but I wanted to register my condolences and offer any support I can. Seeing someone's a great idea, by the way. Big hugs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Dear LitteTiger, My sincere condolences. I am very sorry about your loss My prayers are with you during this difficult time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleTiger Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss and his family and friends' loss. I'm not really good at this thing, but you're in my thoughts. Oh man, LT, I just saw this thread. What a terrible shock! I never know what to say in these situations other than Im so sorry. Please forgive this inelegant post but I wanted to register my condolences and offer any support I can. Seeing someone's a great idea, by the way. Big hugs. Dear LitteTiger, My sincere condolences. I am very sorry about your loss My prayers are with you during this difficult time. Thank you, all of you. Cerridwen, there is nothing inelegant about your post. I started this thread because I don't seem to able find enough outlets for my grief. I just want to scream and cry and yell about how angry I am and how unfair this is. If I posted what I'm really feeling the mods would ban me for life! For some reason, a few kind words from strangers and LS pals, is a small comfort to me. So if you think you're not good at this sort of thing or you don't know what to say in these situations, please remember that it doesn't matter what you say as long as your words are kind. Nobody can change what's happened and nobody can work through feelings like this except the person who is grieving. In this case, me. I have friends and family who have rallied round and are doing their best and it's not enough. Whatever I do, it's not enough. I'm hoping that bereavement counselling, possibly several months of it, might be enough. Until then, I'm grateful for every gentle, caring stroke I get, whoever it's from and however it's worded. So thank you to everyone who has responded. I really appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 I am very sorry for you. All the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I understand so well the feeling of grief, and all the other emotions which go with it, which make you feel you're going insane. I've not lost someone in the way you have, but you know I understand to some extent and I just wanted to say you're not going insane, everything you're feeling is totally normal and understandable in these circumstances, but it hurts like hell and the pain is hard to put into words. Talk soon xx I think you are right. Forty years of friendship is a long time so I don't expect to just get over it in a couple of weeks. I am having some very strange, even disturbing, thoughts and feelings but I haven't imagined seeing him anywhere yet. I have heard of that happening though and I believe it's perfectly normal so I'm prepared for pretty much anything. I contacted a bereavement counsellor today because I think I'm going to need to some help with this one. I have an appointment next week and I'm hoping she will be able to reassure me that I'm not going insane! Thank you again for your kind words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Very sorry Little Tiger, I'm in a similar position as you, have known my ex husband for 20 years and when he had several ministrokes a few years ago and found out he had a hole in his heart, it was a huge shock! Very upsetting times. Luckily he has fully recovered from his heart operation and it appears that the ministrokes stopped too. It is very hard to lose someone who has been in your life forever. I hope you are coping ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleTiger Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 I understand so well the feeling of grief, and all the other emotions which go with it, which make you feel you're going insane. I've not lost someone in the way you have, but you know I understand to some extent and I just wanted to say you're not going insane, everything you're feeling is totally normal and understandable in these circumstances, but it hurts like hell and the pain is hard to put into words. Talk soon xx Thanks HOH. This is the most painful thing I've ever had to deal with in my life and I'm so scared that the pain will go inwards if I don't express it fully.......but I don't know how to express it. I can feel it eating me up from the inside. I'm seeing the bereavement counsellor on Wednesday - I hope she can help because I'm not sure I can handle much more of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleTiger Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 Very sorry Little Tiger, I'm in a similar position as you, have known my ex husband for 20 years and when he had several ministrokes a few years ago and found out he had a hole in his heart, it was a huge shock! Very upsetting times. Luckily he has fully recovered from his heart operation and it appears that the ministrokes stopped too. It is very hard to lose someone who has been in your life forever. I hope you are coping ok. Thanks Emilia. That sounds horrible and must have been a tough time for you. So glad to hear he has made a full recovery. I wish we had been given some kind of warning like that. I know my ex knew how much I loved him, and I know that he loved me too, but I have to acknowledge now that I did take his presence in my life for granted. There are things I wish I had said to him while he was still alive, but sadly, we don't get second chances where death is concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I'm so sorry, please let us know how you get on with the counsellor? I hope you will be able to start to find a way through all this with support... And I hope you will find some comfort and peace soon. Don't bottle any of it up, keep talking xxx Thanks HOH. This is the most painful thing I've ever had to deal with in my life and I'm so scared that the pain will go inwards if I don't express it fully.......but I don't know how to express it. I can feel it eating me up from the inside. I'm seeing the bereavement counsellor on Wednesday - I hope she can help because I'm not sure I can handle much more of this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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