truth_seeker Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 But she also was letting him know what is going on in her life. That to me is just being friendly not trying to bait him in any way. I think you are reading more into it than it actually is and it's this kind of thinking that keeps a person holding on. Not healthy IMHO. I don't see the purpose for her to reach out to him, really. Why? Why does she feel the need to let him know what's going on in her life? To me it feels like it's more than just being friendly. That's my take. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kettleblack Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 Well I guess therein lies the mystery truth/stillafool. I have no idea of her intentions but I do know she hasn't written back...could be for a lot of reasons...busy life, something came up that was distracting, missed the email (as Jyoti is concerned happened to her) OR she was using me for her own ends as some (including stillafool) have suggested (would be unlike her but who knows?). I guess the only way to know for sure is to have another e-mail from her to gauge the tone...either she replies or, if not, I send a prompt in a week. If no response to the prompt, I suppose I have my answer. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Well I guess therein lies the mystery truth/stillafool. I have no idea of her intentions but I do know she hasn't written back...could be for a lot of reasons...busy life, something came up that was distracting, missed the email (as Jyoti is concerned happened to her) OR she was using me for her own ends as some (including stillafool) have suggested (would be unlike her but who knows?). I guess the only way to know for sure is to have another e-mail from her to gauge the tone...either she replies or, if not, I send a prompt in a week. If no response to the prompt, I suppose I have my answer. When im recovered form this at some point, year or 2, id like to know how my ex is doing is she married? does she have kids etcetera? and she made it clear a few week ago in an email she would/like to hear from me eventually. I'm not reading into this at all and didnt contact her. What is wrong with catching up with an ex when you are completely indifferent? She was in my life 8 years so id wish her the best. She did have some good qualities obviously and i do eventually hope for her happiness. ..but right now i hope she rots in HELL!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tmo2 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 I have no idea of her intentions but I do know she hasn't written back...could be for a lot of reasons... OR she was using me for her own ends as some. I guess the only way to know for sure is to have another e-mail from her to gauge the tone...either she replies or, if not, I send a prompt in a week. If no response to the prompt, I suppose I have my answer. She made contact. This is a big step after so much time apart, let her reach out to you, it should take some time, don't prompt in a week- you already did with the last e-mail. Continue doing your things. Don't start chasing her. If you aren't sure about her motives yet, it will become clearer as time passes on - or if she initiates contact with you again. Try not to over-think things. ''D'ont chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life will come to you. And stay.'' - Will Smith 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kettleblack Posted January 13, 2013 Author Share Posted January 13, 2013 (edited) When im recovered form this at some point, year or 2, id like to know how my ex is doing is she married? does she have kids etcetera? and she made it clear a few week ago in an email she would/like to hear from me eventually. I'm not reading into this at all and didnt contact her. What is wrong with catching up with an ex when you are completely indifferent? She was in my life 8 years so id wish her the best. She did have some good qualities obviously and i do eventually hope for her happiness. ..but right now i hope she rots in HELL!! I understand your feelings at the moment Cav and they WILL pass I assure you. And you're right, once you have the distance, when someone special has affected your life in such a profound way, it makes complete sense to catch up. And as I indicated before, my ex could be doing that as well...nothing more or less.... Edited January 13, 2013 by kettleblack Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 ''D'ont chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life will come to you. And stay.'' - Will Smith What happens if two people like each other but no one makes a move? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kettleblack Posted January 13, 2013 Author Share Posted January 13, 2013 (edited) What happens if two people like each other but no one makes a move? Hey Truth. That was, I think, the crux of Jyoti's fretting. If you're still out there J, we'd like to hear from you again! All I can say is, in the context of this thread: if you want to put the matter to bed once and for all, there is always the option of a prompt (after a sufficient amount of time has passed), potentially by forwarding your last email and updating (briefly) an innocuous portion of it. If a reply is favorable (and also potentially addresses why the other person went "dark") then you can gauge how to proceed. If no response is forthcoming then you know the other person was merely using you for their own ends, whatever they may be. If such is the case, then thats it for communication with them in furture in my opinion. But I take on board Tmo2's point on the need to not chase and proceed in a calm and collected manner, esp. as-in my situation- I'm not sure what it is I actually want from all this besides the fact that it would be nice to retain this person in my life in some form... Generally speaking, if you desperately want someone in your life after a break-up and time has passed whereby the person making the move has considered the context in which they are appealing to their ex (for example if the dumpee, sometime after the break up and not immediately after it in desperation, or if the dumper after carefully assessing why they are approaching the dumpee and how they plan to "sell" the reconciliation to someone they hurt) then I personally feel you should make a move. Whats the point of waiting unless its to determine the appropriateness of contacting the ex to reconcile? We're mortal and life is short. CAVEAT: This is all context sensitive and there are so many permutations of break-ups and life situations that this generalization is just that and will not apply to specific circumstances. Edited January 13, 2013 by kettleblack 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jyoti Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Hey Truth. That was, I think, the crux of Jyoti's fretting. If you're still out there J, we'd like to hear from you again! All I can say is, in the context of this thread: if you want to put the matter to bed once and for all, there is always the option of a prompt (after a sufficient amount of time has passed), potentially by forwarding your last email and updating (briefly) an innocuous portion of it. If a reply is favorable (and also potentially addresses why the other person went "dark") then you can gauge how to proceed. If no response is forthcoming then you know the other person was merely using you for their own ends, whatever they may be. If such is the case, then thats it for communication with them in furture in my opinion. But I take on board Tmo2's point on the need to not chase and proceed in a calm and collected manner, esp. as-in my situation- I'm not sure what it is I actually want from all this besides the fact that it would be nice to retain this person in my life in some form... Generally speaking, if you desperately want someone in your life after a break-up and time has passed whereby the person making the move has considered the context in which they are appealing to their ex (for example if the dumpee, sometime after the break up and not immediately after it in desperation, or if the dumper after carefully assessing why they are approaching the dumpee and how they plan to "sell" the reconciliation to someone they hurt) then I personally feel you should make a move. Whats the point of waiting unless its to determine the appropriateness of contacting the ex to reconcile? We're mortal and life is short. CAVEAT: This is all context sensitive and there are so many permutations of break-ups and life situations that this generalization is just that and will not apply to specific circumstances. Sorry Kettle, quite busy atm! I have decided to send a "prompt" as you call it in about a week. Truth/You are right, can't let this opportunity pass. If I fail to connect then I MUST move on as difficult as that will be Link to post Share on other sites
HaveFaithxx Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 I have contacted ex's I broke up with a year or two later just to be friends. I start thinking of them and remebering how much fun we had. But all i wanted was friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Jay112 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Maby we can help eachother Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 If they are truly interested then they would continue contact. 2 weeks of nothing shows their intentions. It was likely just a friendly contact and you shouldn't read too much into it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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