Drseussgrrl Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I recently started dating a doctor and things are going pretty well. I suppose I just don't really know what to expect, as I've heard their schedules can be insane, that they're married to their profession, etc. Anyone had any experience?
Ruby Slippers Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I dated a doctor last year, and he was great except that he was rather emotionally closed. I've heard that this is a common complaint from women dating doctors - cold and closed. I'd watch out for that if I dated another one. But really, that's something you have to watch out for with a lot of guys.
CarrieT Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I just got engaged to a doctor. Granted, mine has already gone through residency and has his own practice, so his schedule is pretty straightforward. But when he is on call, he can get calls on weekends that screw up our plans and he can't drink in case he has to perform emergency surgery... But that doesn't happen too often, thankfully. 2
Treasa Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Admittedly, no, but ask him to give you a full exam. 1
Balzac Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Rather gross generalizations thus far. Helps to know specialty and if staffer, research, teaching or private practice only. Multiple generation physician?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 My ex works in a hospital and he tells me all the doctors are jewish and self-absorbed.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 He's done with his residency. He is in the army, with an option to get out this year if he wanted. He's not Jewish. He's a physiatrist. He's a rehabilitation doctor so as far as I can tell, his hours are pretty cut and dry, without the drama of being an ER doctor or something that would entail getting late night calls. Emotionally closed off, remains to be seen. He does say lots of dorky, sappy sh*t to me though. LOL 1
Balzac Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Army lifer or just until the moment payback ends?
Author Drseussgrrl Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 He hasn't committed to being a lifer, no. Going on 4 years I think.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I recently started dating a doctor and things are going pretty well. I suppose I just don't really know what to expect, as I've heard their schedules can be insane, that they're married to their profession, etc. Anyone had any experience? Depends on the doctor. Some make 90K a year. Some make 500K a year. Some work 20 hours a week part time, others work 65+. If he is a specialty doctor, chances are he will be 40 hours and bring home a ton of loot. If he is internal, but works in a clinic, 40 tough hours. If he works in a hospital, typically long, grueling, undpredictable hours.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 He's done with his residency. He is in the army, with an option to get out this year if he wanted. He's not Jewish. He's a physiatrist. He's a rehabilitation doctor so as far as I can tell, his hours are pretty cut and dry, without the drama of being an ER doctor or something that would entail getting late night calls. Emotionally closed off, remains to be seen. He does say lots of dorky, sappy sh*t to me though. LOL Normal hours with little on-call and a good paycheck. Bring your A-game. 1
Treasa Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 He's done with his residency. He is in the army, with an option to get out this year if he wanted. He's not Jewish. He's a physiatrist. He's a rehabilitation doctor so as far as I can tell, his hours are pretty cut and dry, without the drama of being an ER doctor or something that would entail getting late night calls. Emotionally closed off, remains to be seen. He does say lots of dorky, sappy sh*t to me though. LOL I know someone married to a psychiatrist. She loves their life and they've been very happily married for something like 40 years. He's awesome, too. Oh, and he doesn't work crazy hours except in a rare crisis event.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Umm he is rich rich rich!! I think that beyond the richness the timing probably sucks because they are constantly on call but the money is worth it. How did you meet him and how can I get one lol
Author Drseussgrrl Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Umm he is rich rich rich!! I think that beyond the richness the timing probably sucks because they are constantly on call but the money is worth it. How did you meet him and how can I get one lol Ha! Well he's an army officer at the moment so no, he isn't rich. And we met on match.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Ha! Well he's an army officer at the moment so no, he isn't rich. And we met on match. OMG a doctor and in the military!!!! That's a million times better!! Random question but how much is match and is it worth it to you? I am thinking of joining.
Balzac Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I know someone married to a psychiatrist. She loves their life and they've been very happily married for something like 40 years. He's awesome, too. Oh, and he doesn't work crazy hours except in a rare crisis event. physiatrist is not a psychiatrist 1
Author Drseussgrrl Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 OMG a doctor and in the military!!!! That's a million times better!! Random question but how much is match and is it worth it to you? I am thinking of joining. I had mixed results with match. I think I paid $35 for a month and went on as many dates as possible to maximize my money. It's a numbers game and you need a thick skin as you get lots of creepers and guys looking for booty. You have to date with your eyes wide open and be very honest about what you want. I met some nice guys, sure, but had no connection with most. One dude ended up talking about himself for the duration of our second date. NEXT. One guy turned out to be a holy roller and said "Don't be offended if I don't kiss you by the third date." What? NEXT. I could go on and on. I messaged this one and it went from there. He honestly isn't really my "type". He's shy and says lots of sappy stuff. I just got this text - "Is it stupid that I miss you?" LOL Dang. But I'm going with it and not getting hung up on stupid stuff. Maybe he just really likes me. 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I had mixed results with match. I think I paid $35 for a month and went on as many dates as possible to maximize my money. It's a numbers game and you need a thick skin as you get lots of creepers and guys looking for booty. You have to date with your eyes wide open and be very honest about what you want. I met some nice guys, sure, but had no connection with most. One dude ended up talking about himself for the duration of our second date. NEXT. One guy turned out to be a holy roller and said "Don't be offended if I don't kiss you by the third date." What? NEXT. I could go on and on. I messaged this one and it went from there. He honestly isn't really my "type". He's shy and says lots of sappy stuff. I just got this text - "Is it stupid that I miss you?" LOL Dang. But I'm going with it and not getting hung up on stupid stuff. Maybe he just really likes me. I might try it I just really don't want to pay that much lol idk if it's worth it, but if I get a bf by Valentines Day it totally will!
Minka333 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 My ex fiance was a doctor. Yeah, his schedule was insane. He cannot always be present during special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries especially if it happens to fall on a day where he has surgery stuff or emergency things. He would also often come home too tired and exhausted. So it kinda affected our sex life. At first i was very smitten by him. Everyone thought he was a great catch. He was attractive and comes from a good family as well. But in reality, we don't have much in common. I am more into arts and don't know much about medical terms..plus im not interested either. I'd get bored when he tells me hospital stories. I became unhappy coz' he has a bad temper which often stems from hospital stress. He was also more of the serious type. We spent more time playing scrabble and crossword puzzle than go out and have fun. In the end, i broke up with him and returned the ring. We lasted 3years. People are different so i guess you might have a better personality match with your guy. Just be optimistic and let time reveal if you are both right for each other. Goodluck!
january2011 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Generalisations: Doctor = be prepared to fight off other women + ego + married to work Military = be prepared to move a lot + have a portable/no career + his job/team comes first + weeks and possibly months without seeing him, depending on where he gets sent (he might get a call on Friday to leave on Monday for months at a time) + being a single parent (because he'll be away a lot) + potential PTSD I speak as someone who dated a research MD and a senior military guy (not at the same time). In my opinion, both require dedication, flexibility, adaptability, faith and inner strength to go long-term. I wouldn't say, don't do it. I would say, go for it, and see if the lifestyle is for you.
soccerrprp Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Dated a doctor and yes, VERY busy! Sometimes so busy that getting together can be a challenge. I don't know you, but don't let him think that you can't keep up intellectually. If you've ever dealt with doctors in a patient/provider context, many can be patronizing. Believe me, it's part of their personality and can creep into the dating scene. I hope income doesn't become an issue as well. Don't mean to only talk about the negatives. Just under it all, he is also looking for love, affection, compatibility. But you should look out for the above-mentioned. Good luck. My experience wasn't all so bad. I'm still friends with my ex doctor friend...
tman666 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 lol.. i could never date a doctor. they actively kill people in hospitals, so i wouldn't date somebody who has God-like powers of life and death!!! if they can kill patients at will, i can get a gun and shoot random people in a mall. why not? lol... Can someone please tell me why this guy isn't banned yet? 3
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm jaded after dating/meeting 4 doctors in their mid 30s early 40s (Jewish as myself) in the last year. They were all kind of cold and guarded. And ultra busy. I like it that they're interesting and intelligent, but honestly for me it was not really easy with them, too frustrating.
IndianBabu Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 pm&r = plenty of money and relaxation! Not all doctors are emotionally closed off, but sometimes it helps being that way in that particular field of work. 1
soccerrprp Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm jaded after dating/meeting 4 doctors in their mid 30s early 40s (Jewish as myself) in the last year. They were all kind of cold and guarded. And ultra busy. I like it that they're interesting and intelligent, but honestly for me it was not really easy with them, too frustrating. I do not mean to be insulting in any way, but did you feel that you did not match up intellectually? Or that they made you feel that way? I want to edit my earlier experience by saying that such professionals have the tendency of being rather self-important and "calculating." Calculating in the sense, that they measure you up to see if you're worth their while and that comes across as a little cold and condescending. The key is to be confident and let them know that you're no push-over and be blunt with them if you have to be. I'm friends with my ex doctor friend because she knows better than to think I can't match up and tell her what needs to be said. I humor her at times, but she respects and enjoys my company. It took time, but even the sweetest doctor types need some reality check and a little push-back.
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