d4commitment Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) Ok guys, here's the deal. I'm 21. I hear often that I am attractive (have been a model a couple of times), I have a ton of close friends and people tend to think I'm funny, caring and confident. Ever since my very first date I've kept meeting the wrong guys - one after the other. I have been single all my life, and I haven't really gotten past the dating stage with anyone. I have had some really bad experiences where I got my first kiss from a grown up man (my father who left us) when I was a kid, and I was drugged by someone and raped by my best friend when I was 20 - and that's how I lost my virginity. So one can claim that there are many natural reasons for why I feel like I need a man in my life. Recently I fell for someone properly (for the second time in my life) and it didn't work out. He acted like a douchebag in the end and somewhat broke my heart I guess. He is a nice guy though, he just made some very weird choices. And after him I promised myself I would never ever fall in love again. Though now, literally days later, I've felt the urge to log onto dating sites again. I know I won't find what I want on there, but I just want that good feeling so bad. I am sad at the same time, and I know I'll keep comparing people to the last guy I really liked. What should I do. Should I stay away from dating sites? I really think I should take a break, because I've been non-stop dating for a year now, and I am just mentally tired. I am so confused! How am I supposed to meet the right guy? Edited January 6, 2013 by d4commitment Needed to tell you more about me now.
Radu Posted January 6, 2013 Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) You should probably stay away from dating for a while. The episode about your dad and the guy who took your virginity are very very disconcerting. Have you talked to a therapist about it ? In relationships, the one who cares the least has the most power. And desperation [or need], can thus work against you by making you settle. Ideally you want to adopt a 'take it or leave it' attitude when it comes to dating someone who can possibly become a SO. Or better yet, to become outcome independent [made a post about it a few minutes ago]. PS: Here it is, just replace woman with man : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/365725-best-way-find-woman-not-try-do-so Edited January 6, 2013 by Radu 1
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