cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 one of them.even called me today and i didnt even pick up. i just watched there call as it rang...i dont know wth is wrong with me. I feel like its a waste of time goig out and dating...plus Im not even attracted to.anyone right now. I am really moody lately. Hi destroyed. Sorry that your feeling low. Part of it might be the effects of the recent contact with her. Youll be fine. You just need more time. Dont worry about dating yet. You will know when you are ready. Im definitly ready to date now and it took me 6 months of pure NC. Unlike early on i dont think of the ex at all while im having these interactions or after. Im not really looking for a new RS but am not opposed the idea. the good thing about dating or even just becomig interested again, when your ready, is it really help you realize that you dont need your ex and it will be ok irregardless of whether things work out or not. It is really nice to be able to be excited about new.posibilties and this activity seems to have accelerated my recovery and upped my confidence. True confidence.. not the false confidence I pretended early on (although pretending was important). Rock on! Cav Fake it till you make it! 1
suladas Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Made out with latina dance intructor! We had drinks over lunch. She drank a margarita i had a Sam Adams. Kissed in car. Tentative date set up for next weekend! This one I sorta like! Good chemistry. Deep eye contact close up. Lots of laughing and joking around touching ecetera. Wooo Hooo! Cav other girl still texting Good for you Cav. As far as attracting women i'm doing awesome, but I haven't found any kind of connection yet which sucks. Sure it feels great to see women checking me out and getting attention etc, but I really want to connect with someone again and i'm so far just frustrated with any women i've met.
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Good for you Cav. As far as attracting women i'm doing awesome, but I haven't found any kind of connection yet which sucks. Sure it feels great to see women checking me out and getting attention etc, but I really want to connect with someone again and i'm so far just frustrated with any women i've met. Thanks man! Good for you too!. Dont worry about a RS. It will happen eventually. Just enjoy the ride and being single. No pressure! Cav
Author na49 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Posted April 6, 2013 For some reason I feel like unblocking her on facebook just to see if I get a reaction out of her. I have come a long way but I have no idea why I still feel like doing stupid crap like this.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 For some reason I feel like unblocking her on facebook just to see if I get a reaction out of her. I have come a long way but I have no idea why I still feel like doing stupid crap like this. LOL, no, just no man. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 For some reason I feel like unblocking her on facebook just to see if I get a reaction out of her. I have come a long way but I have no idea why I still feel like doing stupid crap like this. Because walking on fiery coals is fun. 3
Minneloa Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 For some reason I feel like unblocking her on facebook just to see if I get a reaction out of her. I have come a long way but I have no idea why I still feel like doing stupid crap like this. Na, you are in college & it is Friday night! I refuse to believe that this is the best idea you can come up with. 3
Damsel in Distress Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 For some reason I feel like unblocking her on facebook just to see if I get a reaction out of her. I have come a long way but I have no idea why I still feel like doing stupid crap like this. Urges happen, but just because you have an urge doesn't mean you have to act on it! BE STRONG! 1
RiceaRoni Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Yeah come on Na!! If I cant break it, neither can you NC all the way 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Im having issues...kinda feel like imma have a meltdown..which i havent in a few weeks? Not sure why today or tonight..but feeling a bit out of it. i wonder if its the contact she has been throwig at me or if it is just me.
Damsel in Distress Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Im having issues...kinda feel like imma have a meltdown..which i havent in a few weeks? Not sure why today or tonight..but feeling a bit out of it. i wonder if its the contact she has been throwig at me or if it is just me. Aw Destroyed You offered me a hug earlier today, so here's one from me. Contact always produces a setback, even if you don't respond - so let's put some of the blame of this on her for those texts and her dad calling etc. All those things bring your relationship back into your mind and set you off thinking and wondering. Plus it's the weekend which is hard for all of us, and it sounded like you were feeling moody this week already. We all go through hard days, and this is one for you. It's okay to let yourself have some sad days - like McGriff pointed out, grieving isn't a linear process, there are strong days and lonely days, strong hours and weak hours. Just don't let the meltdown tempt you into breaking NC. And remember the lonely sad hurt times will pass, and overall you are making so much progress. Hang in there Destroyed. And if it helps at all to know, you did me a tremendous service today and I feel like I owe you big time. You helped me see my breakup in a very different light. So even though you have had a sucky day, you were tremendously helpful to others... to me. Thank you. I know nothing I can say will make you feel better. But hopefully it helps to know we're here and we are all sorry you are having a bad night 1
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Im having issues...kinda feel like imma have a meltdown..which i havent in a few weeks? Not sure why today or tonight..but feeling a bit out of it. i wonder if its the contact she has been throwig at me or if it is just me. Do u have a valium? Try breathing and stop thinking. Hope you feel better. 2
McDonald Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 damn na, my anniversary would be next week too! last nights party at my place was fun. i talked to more girls that i have in months and ended the night with two girls in my room at the same time!. but nothing happened.. but who cares! anyway... we are almost there Na 2
Damsel in Distress Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 it made me laugh out loud to see my long wordy emotional response and then Cav's very behavioral "take a valium" response Cav's point about breathing is excellent. Breathing exercises can be VERY helpful in getting you away from your thoughts. If you need some guidelines look up progressive muscle relaxation. It feels silly at first, but if you do the exercises correctly it gets you focused on physical sensations instead of your thoughts, and also produces chemical changes that help reduce stress and negative emotion. Breathing exercises are more effective the more often you do them - so you may not get a full relaxation effect the first time, but you get better with practice. It's a very concrete thing we can do to help manage these moods and obsessive thoughts, but I forgot all about trying it during this breakup. (and Cav was able to explain that in one sentence. I'm starting to realize I'm a wordy girl! lol) 2
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) damn na, my anniversary would be next week too! last nights party at my place was fun. i talked to more girls that i have in months and ended the night with two girls in my room at the same time!. but nothing happened.. but who cares! anyway... we are almost there Na What do you mean nothing happened? I care. 2 girls!! Damn sorry dude..i didnt know ..there are pills for than you know? :laugh: ...kidding. Glad you had a good time. Very important to make new memories. Cav Edited April 6, 2013 by cavalier99 3
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 it made me laugh out loud to see my long wordy emotional response and then Cav's very behavioral "take a valium" response Cav's point about breathing is excellent. Breathing exercises can be VERY helpful in getting you away from your thoughts. If you need some guidelines look up progressive muscle relaxation. It feels silly at first, but if you do the exercises correctly it gets you focused on physical sensations instead of your thoughts, and also produces chemical changes that help reduce stress and negative emotion. Breathing exercises are more effective the more often you do them - so you may not get a full relaxation effect the first time, but you get better with practice. It's a very concrete thing we can do to help manage these moods and obsessive thoughts, but I forgot all about trying it during this breakup. (and Cav was able to explain that in one sentence. I'm starting to realize I'm a wordy girl! lol) I think I can score a date with Damsel when she is more recovered! 1
McDonald Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Of course was having a goodnight and then guess who I run into? HER Ughughuhhhhhughhhhhhhh In tired of seeing her everywhere having fun. She never wanted to do this stuff when we dated... It just upsets me. I have to move on
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Well...I did have a meltdown last night. I took a xanax and went to bed then woke up with a huge headache. I think it had to do with staying in on a fri nite and her dads calls. im thinking i should block his number too? I feel bad bc he is a nice guy and that would look mean but...did anyone on here ever have to resort to blocking exs families numbers? Idk what to do.. ?? Also, thx damsel and cav...for nice words and advice last nite. Made me feel.better.
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) Well...I did have a meltdown last night. I took a xanax and went to bed then woke up with a huge headache. I think it had to do with staying in on a fri nite and her dads calls. im thinking i should block his number too? I feel bad bc he is a nice guy and that would look mean but...did anyone on here ever have to resort to blocking exs families numbers? Idk what to do.. ?? Also, thx damsel and cav...for nice words and advice last nite. Made me feel.better. I love a good meltdown. Always feel better after. I view it as just more processing and that it was necesary to get out. Hope you feel better. No problem. Thats what we are here for. Cav Edited April 6, 2013 by cavalier99
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 should i block.him or not? wish TM would chime in here...ergh
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 i fu%ken hate her and her insensitive fu%ken family.......***kkummmm
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 You dont need TM. Just block him. Who cares what he thinks. He wont have a clue. Yes you seem emotional and angry. Are you going to the gym today? I went earlier. Might go again later. Beat up someone! Lol 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I think I can score a date with Damsel when she is more recovered! Well, damsel lost a LDR...maybe you can stand in his place for a while until she recovers...and you can have a LDR TOO along with the other 2 local gfs...lol..its a win.win situation..:-) LOL 2
cavalier99 Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 Well, damsel lost a LDR...maybe you can stand in his place for a while until she recovers...and you can have a LDR TOO along with the other 2 local gfs...lol..its a win.win situation..:-) LOL I wouldn't do that to damsel. She gets all of me! Unless im already off the market! Lol 2
destroyed4sho Posted April 6, 2013 Posted April 6, 2013 I ***n blocked him...put on blacklist. anyway, you can do more than a blacklist? bc you can still see that they called if u look at missed calls....IS THERE ANYWAY OUT OF.THIS TORTURE?
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