Ajvd1 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I am on day nine on nc and day 9 of no smoking. Thought I'd try and kick all my bad habits I guess. I am missing him. Which in turn makes me want to smoke. Ugh why am I so weak I just want to give in. I am tryi g to be strong. I miss his voice, our talks, sharing my day to day with him and him making me smile...HELP! I want to make it and not break this. How do you make it when you are consumed with thinking about them?
SecretFlower Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Honestly? Do anything not to think of him. I know it sounds simple and impossible at the same time, but the only way you can shake him out of your thoughts is by staying proactive. Don't mope around thinking about him. Go out with friends. Go to a movie. Go out. Just do something. You're not weak, you're sad and miss him. You've already gone nine days without talking to him -- that's something to be proud of! You can do it. Just keep at it and remember the reasons why you are NC in the first place.
veryhappy Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 One day after all that thinking about him you will realize he treated you like crap. Then you'll ask yourself "why did I let myself treated like crap?" and the entire A will start to be reframed. His white horse will become an old pony and you will see things differently. Then you won't want him back because you'll realize the man you thought he was is purely fiction. The result of your brain. When I had my fallout from the A and i was a mess l, I was barely eating and decided that if that was going on i would at least make the best of it and only eat healthy. You can give up your smoking I believe. To me the pain from the A was so intense, that my goal of only eating healthy became very easy to obtain. I felt that i was at least in that way taking care of myself.
coffeebean201 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 On days like this it is so important to do a little something nice for yourself. And then again tomorrow. And then again the next day. Sorry you are going through this.
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I am on day nine on nc and day 9 of no smoking. Thought I'd try and kick all my bad habits I guess. I am missing him. Which in turn makes me want to smoke. Ugh why am I so weak I just want to give in. I am tryi g to be strong. I miss his voice, our talks, sharing my day to day with him and him making me smile...HELP! I want to make it and not break this. How do you make it when you are consumed with thinking about them? Wow, congrats on both! Don't give in - Your exMM is a drug, just like the cigs! Stay strong and fight the urges to smoke and to cave and call him. If need be - Get some nicoret gum or spray to help with the nic fits and get yourself a pen and paper, write your exMM a letter, but do not send it..This is for theraputic reasons only. And, read the below link, it'll help you understand why staying in NC mode is the best thing for you. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/337989-no-contact-nc-guide-long-walk-consolidated-discussion
Catplates Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Sorry you are having such a bad time. It might have been easier to give up one addiction at a time, but I wish you luck with giving up both. Sometimes we try to do too much at once and end up achieveing nothing. Be gentle on yourself. Cat.
Author Ajvd1 Posted January 3, 2013 Author Posted January 3, 2013 Thanks everyone the feeling is starting to pass. This was the first time in 9 days that I have really considered breaking nc goal. I initiated the nc but I figured even though I changed my number he knows of other ways fo reach me and if he made some huge revelation about needing me in his life he would stop at nothing to talk. Forget him! This is what I must do!!! 1
neveragain34 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 There must be something in the air today that is making us miss these jerks. I am missing mine too even though he was a complete pig and serial cheater/narcissist. I guess it is normal to miss them and think of all of the good times, but you also need to remember the bad times when you feel like caving. Write a list of all the reasons why you shouldn't make contact and/or be together and you will see that all of the reasons far outweigh the joyous feelings you get when you are together and NC will be much easier. (If that doesn't work, come here and post your feelings or read other people's experiences and help them through this as well.) Here's a few to get you started: 1. He is laying next to his wife right now, the woman he was once passionately in love with enough to make vows to, the mother of his children. 2. His children are peacefully sleeping in the room next to him and his wife. 3. Most of the things he said to me were lies. If he can lie to his wife, what makes me think I'm worthy of the truth? 4. He was kissing his wife, not me, at midnight on NYE. 5. He probably made love to his wife before bed tonight. (Of course he told me they never have sex; he said all the things he thought I would like to hear.) 6. I deserve someone who can give me 100% of his heart and time, not the bread crumbs of this untrustworthy man. I hope this helps. Stay strong!!! 1
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