TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Now that, to me, is just warped - not to mention disrespectful. if he came back into your life now, and wanted back in - how fair would that be to your current BF? I was in a relationship once where the guy I was with still held a flame for his ex. It proved to be the undoing of our relationship. I realised he was never going to give me the 100% he devoted to her. And that was unacceptable. Sorry, but that's the way I see it....
tori0001 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 You can't help the way you feel about someone. Yes I still love him, and I doubt that will change. It just is. As time has gone on, I'm now rational and know and accept that I will never hear from him, nor would I ever contact him as much as I want to. Last year it was a battle, now I'm calm and accept it. If that's warped to you, oh well, it is what it is. My bf knows nothing of my ex. I never talked of past relationships. I love my bf very much, but I really loved my ex like nothing I can explain. The way it ended, I never had any closure. I would've done anything for him> I think he took itfor granted, and my emotions where over the top. Other guys where fillers to help relieve the pain. I even felt suicidal at one point. Don't put a time limit on someones grief. 1
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 ive seen tonnes of photos on instagram, she likes male attention....**** knows....i dont know....she knows i am there by continually emailing.....all her male mates are just mates, i see close flirty photos and god knows....all music mates.....**** knows.
TheZebra Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 It doesn't matter what you or this guy are feeling, Tori, if she doesn't want to be contacted by the guy, that is her right. There is nothing to gain from it and it just makes you look like a complete psycho. You want to grieve over a relationship? Fine. Go to the corner of your room and cry. Call your best friend and cry. But DO NOT keep bothering a person who doesn't want to see or hear from you. That's so creepy and disrespectful on so many levels... Guys like the OP make me afraid to date again... 1
spaniard Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 She likes male attention, but you are just an ego boost. Anyway, I really can't give you any advice on this topic. We tried to help you a million times. Tara is the last man standing here. I wouldn't recommend this in any other cases, but you are STILL in the denial phase since the BU which happened half a year ago. You need to be confronted with the truth to realize that she does not love you. So I say go to her house, talk to her personally, and you'll see that we have been right ever since you came here - and you wasted precious months of your life chasing a girl that has long moved on.
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 She likes male attention, but you are just an ego boost. Anyway, I really can't give you any advice on this topic. We tried to help you a million times. Tara is the last man standing here. I wouldn't recommend this in any other cases, but you are STILL in the denial phase since the BU which happened half a year ago. You need to be confronted with the truth to realize that she does not love you. So I say go to her house, talk to her personally, and you'll see that we have been right ever since you came here - and you wasted precious months of your life chasing a girl that has long moved on. ive decided not to go. she definitely hasn't moved on. i know that she was properly in love with me. but my life took a turn for the worst, and ive dealt with this breakup in completely the wrong fashion. the only way i have a chance of getting her back, is by presenting myself to her, her family as a completely different guy. i need to train, very hard, for 6 months. i will need a 2 week sunshine break at some point. i will work on music solid. i will become a happier person.
TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 she definitely hasn't moved on. How do you know this for absolute sure, other than in your head?
TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Not good enough. You need facts, not wishful thinking. FACT is, if she really wanted you back, you would know that too, by now. She would have made sure you got that message. In all the time you have been broken up with her, how much contact has she made? When was the last time? What did she say then?
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I'm actually concerned. You seem to have the mindset of an actual stalker. I hope you find a way to move in a different direction from this. You might get in serious trouble if you don't. 1
Gottabestrong Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 the only way i have a chance of getting her back, is by presenting myself to her, her family as a completely different guy. i need to train, very hard, for 6 months. i will become a happier person. Do that. Focus on yourself. Stay away from the poor girl and in 6 months from now re-evaluate if you want to contact her. But for now, please, stop emailing or contacting her in any way. You have become the crazy, stalker ex.
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 why is it the hardest thing in the world to stop contact. its just horrible. if im going to do 6 months, i cant be in my current area. i need to get out of here.....another country, take all my gear. go.
quite.foolish Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 why is it the hardest thing in the world to stop contact. its just horrible. if im going to do 6 months, i cant be in my current area. i need to get out of here.....another country, take all my gear. go. You're going to be doing time in jail at this rate. Have you ever been inside a police cell?
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 no, nor would they put me in a jail cell.
quite.foolish Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Stalking is a crime of harassment. Read your local laws. What you are doing is harassing her. Believe me, you keep it up they're putting you in a cell. I speak from first hand experience. I was in your place.. "Oh it's just an email", "Oh I'm just knocking her door", "Oh I'm just asking old friends for her number". None of what you're doing (in singular actions) is bad. On a whole, what you're doing is terrible. Stop thinking about your fking self, think about it from her point of view. She does not want you around. You will not force her to be around. Don't leave it til you're sitting alone in a cell to start REALLY looking at things from her point of view. You will feel fkin shame, you will cry your eyes out. You're making yourself look a cunt. She is NEVER coming back. Never after what you've done. She does not want to look at you, she definitely does not want to communicate with you. I know you feel like a twat. You will feel more of a twat when you stop. Believe me, you're going to stop. Whether you do it yourself, or the authorities force you to stop. You're going to STOP. She is NOT coming back. The longer you let this go on, the harder it's going to be to stop. And you ARE GOING TO STOP THIS. I'M TELLING YOU.. YOU ARE GOING TO STOP THIS. Whether you stop yourself or you're stopped by the authorities. You need to stop yourself, before you're stopped. She is not coming back. Ever. Believe me. 2
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 because she doesnt know what she wants. she wanted to be alone and single. no relationship. and i couldnt respect that, and i email her because i fear there maybe somebody else.
Zammo25 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I can give you a 90% guarantee she is with someone else and that may be the best thing for you, to realise hope went out of the door a long time ago. Then MAN UP and get your sh*t together. This pathetic and needy behaviour is not going to attract a single female in the World moving forward.
quite.foolish Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 because she doesnt know what she wants. (1) she wanted to be alone and single. no relationship. (2) and i couldnt respect that. (3) (1)you sure? (2)oh.. she DOES know what she wants (3)you better start respecting that, else you're inside that cell
TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 She DOES know what she wants. She wanted to be alone (ie , not with you) and single - until she felt this had all moved on and she could breathe again.Well, I'll bet she's breathing again.... You're making so much up in your head, that you can no longer tell fact from fiction. And while you only have your mind activities for confirmation, everything you're saying YOU ARE MAKING UP AS YOU GO ALONG!! This is ALL in your head. All of it! Frankly, I'm desperately hoping and praying she HAS found someone else. You need to quit obsessing that simply because you don't have her, nobody else can, or has a right, or that she couldn't possibly have found someone better! Your lack of respect actually shows a callous and selfish disregard for her feelings. It's not up to you to decide what she wants. She's made it clear what she wants. And it's NOT you.
Zammo25 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 I think he should get out Fatal Attraction as he is the male equivalent. I am no mental expert but I think he has borderline personality disorder.
Author frederickkk Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 she definitely wont be. i did suggest contacting someone close to her to find out but was advised against.
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